Do You Grab the Bull By the Horns Or the Balls?

Plus! Eric Adams watch!! A heartfelt thank you note!!!

Hello everyone,

Welcome to Issue #61 of CAFÉ ANNE!

Last week, I took a look at the newly reopened bathroom at the Jay Street-Metrotech subway station in Brooklyn, which led to an investigation of the facility’s amazing OPS toilet paper and paper towel dispensing system.

As readers will recall, among the system’s many mind-blowing features is the fact that the dispensers are vandal proof. A YouTube video created by their maker, Archer Manufacturing, Inc. of Southern California, depicts a vicious vandal hammering at an OPS dispenser with a metal rod. The dispenser survives completely unscathed!

A harrowing scene from the Archer Manufacturing, Inc. “Dispenser Truth” video.

My account raised some questions for reader Christopher C. in Hyde Park, NY. In an email, he wrote:

"I'm betting that a lot of people want to know more about the guy swinging the pipe at the paper dispenser. An employee drafted for the video? An unusually real-looking or well-costumed r?"

I promptly forwarded this query to Archer Manufacturing, Inc. Director Mark Werth, who provided a satisfying response:

“Andrew was a valued employee for about 7 years. He paid his way through law school by working at Archer. He is now an attorney who has his own practice in Southern Ca.”

I wonder if Andrew is now busy vandalizing the paper dispensers in his law firm’s rest room? Andrew, if you’re out there, let us know!

I also got a lot of feedback on last week’s Q&A with two men who still don’t use a cell phone. Many found their example inspiring. But the top-liked comment, from reader Katy, raised an issue: “These guys have a dedicated support staff of women connecting to outside social networks more regularly!”

Along similar lines, I got an email from reader Aaron in Bed-Stuy who suggested that folks who operate without a smartphone, “outsource to everyone around them, which I think is a power move.”

Interesting! I was curious what the original subjects had to say on this topic, so I forwarded the remarks to David Haaga and Peter Hirsch.

Mr. Haaga was the first to reply: “It’s certainly not my intent to cause others inconvenience or extra work—no desire to outsource anything,” he wrote.

He doesn’t ask others to place calls, make travel arrangements or look up facts on their phone for him, he says. He waits until he’s at his desk to do these chores on his computer.

He did cite a recent experience, however, in which he and his daughter needed to park at a lot that would only take payment with a parking app. He couldn’t use cash or his credit card, so his daughter had to pay with her smartphone.

“I didn’t set out with a mindset of, ‘Let the younger generation worry about parking—I’m too busy and important.’” he wrote. “But if that kind of situation starts to happen a lot instead of just once in a while, I could imagine it’s getting to a tipping point where I sort of go along to get along and join the 21st century.”

I also heard from David’s wife, Candice Haaga. She said she has a flip-phone which she uses to text, get log-in codes and even hail an Uber. But her husband, she wrote, doesn’t rely on her to perform these functions: “He's quite functional & happy on his own!”

Mr. Hirsch, our second subject, also said he was careful to avoid outsourcing. “The related power move thing is tricky,” he wrote. “I don’t think I'm indulging in some sort of white male privilege thing, though I can understand that it might look that way. I do try to draw the line in particular situations when I think my refusal to have anything at all to do with cell phones is making life unduly hard for someone else that I care about.”

Enough of this phone talk! I’m very excited about this week’s issue. We’ve got the latest installment of Eric Adams Watch (yes, it’s been awhile). And this week’s feature is a hard-hitting and possibly Pulitzer-winning investigation into why some tourists pose for photos with the head of the famous Charging Bull statute in Lower Manhattan while others choose the rear. Please enjoy.

Regards!

Anne

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THANK YOU NOTE

Here’s To the Crazy Ones!

In a previous issue looking at Android Vs. iPhone users, I cited the famous Apple commercial in which the company marketed itself as the choice of creative geniuses everywhere by referencing total nut jobs like Einstein and Gandhi: "Here's to the crazy ones—,” the ad intoned, “the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes, the ones who see things differently.”

Weeks after writing about whether Android or iPhone users are the “crazy ones” these days, I arrived at a firm conclusion. Do you know who the real crazy ones are? The people who purchase a subscription to CAFÉ ANNE. After all, they are voluntarily paying for something that is available for free. Other newsletters create special content for paying subscribers. Not CAFÉ ANNE! CAFÉ ANNE will always be 100% free, with no paywalls. It trusts that readers who can afford a paid subscription will keep it going for those who cannot.

So with that, a tribute to the newest paying nut jobs:

Gold-plated thank you WISH-FULFILLING CRONUTS to Maura M, Lindsey C, Janice G, Rosrini, Chris D, Barbara K, Basketb926 and Swtrask!

Thank-you MAGIC SUBWAY TOKENS that transport you to the West Village in the 1950s or Soho in the 60s or Times Square in the 70s to Ariela R, Nina, Subscriber1, Jenn B, Haz, Tina N, Lisa S and Leah F.

And finally, a thank-you GUEST APPEARANCE in Mayor Eric Adams’ next fever dream RAT FANTASY to Luduong, Lucie T, Georgia L, MP, Robert C, CK, Betsy C and Oliver P!

I couldn’t do this without you!

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ERIC ADAMS WATCH

On Rats, Cooking With Gas and Podcasting

I continue to enjoy the exploits of Eric Adams, whom my friend Aharon refers to as “New York City’s first AI-generated Mayor.” As a profile in Politico put it, “In a city of weird people and weird mayors, Adams is maybe the most idiosyncratic figure to ever hold the office.”

Here, round-up #14 of the mayor’s doings:

January 4: After the Mayor creates the position of “Rat Czar” to rid the city of rodents, Guardian Angels leader Curtis Sliwa, who lost the mayoral race to Mr. Adams back in 2020, offers to fill the position for free. The Mayor does not find this amusing. “Tell Curtis: ‘Come to be my rat czar.’ OK, and he’s going to realize this is not a Tom and Jerry playful commercial here. This is real stuff,” the Mayor tells reporters at a press conference. “I will make sure we bring him on board—he can be part of our internship program because I know he’s probably looking for a job since he lost a job that he was trying to get.”

January 4: Mr. Sliwa responds by staging a press conference in front of the Mayor’s residence accompanied by two of his own 16 house cats, Tiny and Tuxedo. “Like most New Yorkers, [the Mayor] is frightened of rats,” says Mr. Sliwa. “He’s tried everything but it’s time that we revert back to the best measure that has ever worked—and that’s cats!”

A home-made graphic Mr. Sliwa posted on his Twitter feed.

January 23: Weighing in on the New York State governor’s proposal to ban gas stoves in new residential construction, the Mayor reveals that he is a proud natural gas chef: “I’m a good cook, and that electric stove just doesn’t cook for me!”

February 6: The Mayor launches his own bi-monthly podcast, the Get Stuff Done-Cast. The first episode, in which he interviews three officials in his own administration, garners two reviews on Apple Podcasts. One listener awards it five stars, the other one.

February 7: The Mayor’s compulsive need to reference his feelings about rats continues unabated. At a press conference announcing the launch of the nation’s largest curbside composting program, our fearless leader concludes, “It is a win for New Yorkers, it is a win for all of us. The only one that loses are those rats. And you may not know it but I hate rats!”

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INVESTIGATION

Do You Grab the Bull By the Horns or the Balls?

In my decades as a journalist, I've gotten some strange assignments from editors. But none as odd as the "assignment" I recently got from reader Tom C. in Tribeca.

Tom has been taking a daily afternoon stroll past the famous "Charging Bull" statue on Bowling Green, a tiny park in Lower Manhattan that is more of traffic island between Broadway and Whitehall Street. He's fascinated by what he sees.

"It's mainly a tourist thing," he said. "They line up to take photos, and there are always two lines—one for the front of the bull, and one for the back, with the balls. How do people decide what line to stand in?”

He's also been wondering about the psychographic and demographic makeup of the tourists in each line. "I stop and watch and there is no rhyme or reason," he said. "After almost four years of observing, I can't draw any conclusions."

Clearly it was time for a CAFÉ ANNE investigation.

Last week, I prepared a 15-point survey so I could collect information from the tourists in each line about their age, nationality, relationship status, occupation and other demographic aspects. I also planned to ask each tourist they why chose to be photographed with the front or back end of the bull.

I imagined the folks lined up at the back would be a bunch of goofball frat boys while the folks lining up in front would be, well, everyone else.

Wrong again!

First, the basics. The line for the front of the bull was always longer, averaging 20 tourists compared to 16 for the back.

A slight majority of tourists lining up at the head of the bull—52%— were women, while the back attracted more men.

The average age was similar in both lines: 37 for the front, 40 for the back. And the lines produced a similar distribution of folks with high school, college or advanced levels of education.

White and Latino tourists, meanwhile, were far more likely to choose the back of the bull while most Asian tourists chose the front. There were few Black tourists visiting the bull in general.

Make of this what you will. I, for one, am not stupid enough to venture a guess, let alone ask a Chinese tourist, for example, "What is it about being Asian that makes you prefer the horns?”

For what it’s worth, the folks lined up at the back seemed to be having a lot more fun. It’s traditional to pose beneath the animal's hind legs and grab its testicles, which have acquired a certain patina.

The folks opting to pose with the balls, I discovered after grilling everyone in line, were far more likely than the folks lining up at the front to be single. Politically, they were also more likely to be conservatives like the anti-terrorism security consultant from Montgomery, Alabama. "I'm for the people, you know what I mean?" he said. "People should be governed less."

And why did these people choose the back? Almost everyone gave the same answer: they'd heard it was good luck to rub the rocks.

"The bull symbolizes economic growth and American prosperity," said Jess, a tourist from Copenhagen. "If you touch the balls, prosperity and wealth is what happens."

"He's a trader," his wife explained.

But two tourists lined up for the back end had their own, very special rationale. Joel and Cadon, friends in their early 20s visiting from Carmel, Indiana, shouted their explanation almost in unison: "Because balls are funny!"

The sculpture itself has a wonderful back story. Its creator, Arturo Di Modica, moved to NYC from Italy in the 1970s, a real starving artist type. After he got rich and famous (well, famous for a sculptor), he wanted to thank the city for welcoming him.

Following the Black Monday stock market crash, Mr. Di Modica spent $360,000 to create the 16-foot, 7,100-pound bronze bull sculpture at a studio in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. The bull, of course, symbolizes financial optimism, and he meant to inspire the city.

In December 1989, just before Christmas, Mr. Di Modica and his crew loaded the bull onto the back of a truck in the middle of the night and dropped it in front of the New York Stock Exchange as gift to the city. The next morning, the Stock Exchange called the cops. The NYPD seized the sculpture and caged it in an impound lot.

But it was too late. The city was in love, and people went bananas. A few days later, the Parks Department installed the bull two blocks south of the Stock Exchange, on Bowling Green, where it still stands poised to gore the thousands of tourists who visit each day.

May I add: I love the Charging Bull! It is my favorite sculpture in New York City. It is so fierce and beautiful! Plus, you don't need a ticket to see it, and you can climb on it, and it's a great occasion for people watching.

Before I continued my surveying efforts, I spotted a trio of rebels—a family from Portsmouth, England that opted to skip both lines and pose by the side of the bull.

Dan, Jay and Bex—too cool to wait in line!

"We came 5,000 miles, but we couldn't stand in line for one minute, so we said, 'Screw it!'" said Dan, the father.

They run a small business selling DVDs and video games online, love to read and described themselves as middle class. Their kid, ten-year-old Jay, was wearing a sweatshirt that said, "Don't ask me to fix your computer."

I asked what they'd seen so far on their trip to New York City.

"Crackheads, heroin users, homeless people crapping on the street," said Dan.

"In that respect, it's very like London," added his wife, Bex.

I asked them to guess why some of their fellow tourists chose to line up in front of the bull, while others queued up in back.

"I think the people in the front want to show the pictures to their mums," said Bex.

"I'd imagine the people in the back like getting shat on,” said Dan. “They're okay with the financial industry. And then the people in the front are, 'I want some of the wealth!'"

If I had to characterize the people at the front of the line based on my surveying, I’d note that they are more likely to be politically moderate and far more likely to be in a relationship.

Also, unlike the folks in the back, who all readily named a favorite book, most folks in the front were cheerfully willing to admit that they didn't really read books at all. They also frequently described themselves as "happy" or even "happy-go-lucky."

So why did they choose the front? For most it was less about being pro-horn and more about being anti-testicle.

"I don't like balls, you know what I mean?' said Andrea, a professor from Chile.

"It's nicer than the bull's ass," agreed Joanna, a model from Miami.

"I don’t understand why people stand in the back," added Secarri, a government worker from LA. "This is the money shot! Much more recognizable."

Yes, it’s true. None of the folks waiting in line to pose with the bull’s head, I discovered, were aware that it’s considered lucky to rub the balls.

When I explained the situation, some quickly changed their tune. “Oh s—!” said Andy, a UK entrepreneur. “We rubbed the wrong end!”

But Keri, a police officer from Scotland, wasn’t having it. "I'm a farmers daughter," she said. "You never stand in back of an animal, and that's the truth!"

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