“…he tells the crowd. “He could have made me the mayor of Topeka, Kansas.” God is supposed to have a GREAT sense of humor! I mean turning a person into a pillar of salt is comic genius!
“I’d like to report my neighbor for waving to everyone on the block.” “That’s a real New Yorker!” says the Mayor.' He is, of course, referring to the caller.” HILARIOUS AND TRUE!
“When I find an old person who is willing to play, I have them pick a random number, ask the corresponding question and record their response.” Anne that is such a fair and unbiased way to do the survey! Bravo!
“And how does one win Senior Citizen Roulette? It’s just like life. Nobody wins! Ever!!” Seniors realize this. But, as NYC proves, RATS WIN!! And cockroaches…
The Senior interview I liked the best was Phil, 77, Borough Park, Brooklyn. The others were too maudlin, nothing much to enjoy in their responses (sorry Anne, sometimes it’s a swing and a miss).
Phil said some cool things: “I once joked around and said, “This is where I want to be when I die,” alright? I played softball most of my life. My whole life. I said, ‘Take me to the pitcher's mound, cross my arms. Have a football in one arm, a softball on the other arm and the racing form in the middle of my chest. I'll be a happy person! When I die, make it nice and quick, but give me thirty seconds. If it’s inevitable that I'm going to go, give me thirty seconds and that's it.”
I’m almost 70 and I liked Phil’s scenario! It’s very uplifting!
Now I joke around similarly about my demise, if I have a choice: I don’t even want 15 seconds, just a second or two after the loudest explosion ever and the shock wave. Time enough for my last words: “WHAT THE F—K WAS THAT??!!!”
Anne I'm sure the following quotes ring true for you!
“When people don't express themselves, they die one piece at a time.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson
“I go to seek a Great Perhaps.”
― François Rabelais
“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
― Woody Allen
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”
― Hunter S. Thompson
“When he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.”
― William Shakespeare
“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”
I sometimes surmise (since I write also but in an amateurish way) that the JRB comment stream in the Cafe is some of the very best things I read every week. You always seem to manage to capture the Anneisms of joy and silliness. I like that.What is the standard for the best things I read? I cannot resist smiling. Mark Twain, a resident of Anne and my hometown, wins this arrays of quotes IMO. I wish someone like him were in every one of my social clubs.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE MOST CREATIVE AND AMUSING WRITER I'VE EVER KNOWN!
“Romance novels are birthday cake and life is often peanut butter and jelly. I think everyone should have lots of delicious romance novels lying around for those times when the peanut butter of life gets stuck to the roof of your mouth.”
Go on my first date (a dance) with a girl, at age 16, in 1969...it was a double date since I didn't have a drivers license yet...the couple we doubled with, Bill and Rosanne, had been going together for a while so for sure they had kissed (and more?!)...the dance is over, we drive home and we're in the driveway at my GF's house and I'm, as we said then, "sh-ting little green apples" wondering IF I will get a kiss goodnight and even if I do will I do it right since I never kissed a girl before...and I was scared of what Bill and Rosanne would say if I didn't get a kiss or if it was just a peck...so my knees are shaking as I walk my GF up the steps of her porch...what am I going to do to get a kiss?? Luck was on my side because she turned back to face me and somehow I moved my face towards hers and our lips met...AND HER MOUTH WAS OPEN!!! She taught me everything I needed to know about kissing with that first kiss (I was thinking to myself as it was happening, "This must be a French Kiss!" Heck I didn't know!). Her mom had to come out to break us up! I walked back to the car to triumphantly meet the eyes of Bill and Rosanne with a "take that!" I mean what is scarier than being a teenager, not knowing how to kiss and performing in front of other teens your first time? If I flopped it would have been all over school in a matter of hours without the help of social media...I had dark hair, a dark complexion and brown eyes (of an Italian lover) and wore a leather jacket to LOOK tough..so everyone assumed that I had kissed a hundred girls...on that porch, that night, by luck, that myth was confirmed...the nuns, though I got good grades, blackballed me from the National Honor Society because of rumors of my shady character...the nuns figured I was in the National On-Her Society, which may have been partially correct; but I dated a lot of girls and never took their "honor" from them, even when the opportunity presented itself...I married the only two women who, by mutual agreement, gave up their honor to me...I LOOKED like Lothario, nothing more...my poor mom was upset that I didn't get into the NHS for her entire life...Nuns, what can you do??
Ok, is this a typical politician or what? Constantly tells everyone he hates rats. And then we find out his own house is actually infested with rats and he lost a court case about it! And it wasn't even the first time he's been in court about it?
This is incredible to me, and also super disappointing. I thought he was supposed to be cool and different.
I was missing the Eric Adams Watch, so this one hit the spot, Anne! I loved, or should I say, hated, his Valentine's Day message. Seriously, that one was a master class in weird. Also, I was thrilled to see that Eric Adams isn't above the law. Sure, it's a relatively small fine, but it's good to know that the rule of law is still alive and well in NYC. That said, I need to know more about this recycling rat nest the Mayor left outside his door. Is it possible that he was framed? Or, do you think Eric Adams embodies a kind of duality where he hates rats so much that he's determined to help them multiply? Maybe that's a little too Jungian for Eric Adams, or maybe his war against the rats is a war for his soul.
Mr. Estrin, I think the Mayor's whole life is a master class in weird. But well put!
I love the idea that his war on rats is the war on his own shadow side. The outer reflects the inner, you know. Maybe instead of a Rat Czar, he should be hiring a Jungian analyst?
Isn't most of the nutrition in the grape skin? So wasn't the doting mother inadvertently denying her eventually-a-billionaire-son valuable, brain-fuelling nutrition? Would he be even richer now if he HAD EATEN THE SKIN?! I don't peel grapes or carrots for the same reason.
And oh my holy god do I love senior citizen roulette! Can we all play? interviewing seniors form different parts of the world? I'll volunteer to do Australia!
Thank you Rebecca! So glad you enjoyed! I really loved each of these people and what they had to say as well. Not to mention the fact they are cool with me sharing this on all the internets.
There is ONE grape that is worth peeling and that is the Concord grape. It is so juicy and flavorful, and the skin is just the packaging that gets in the way. It’s worth getting your fingers sticky!!
I totally agree Rebecca. Except you don't really PEEL a concord grape, correct? It's more like you squeeze it until the delicious sour blob thing flies into your mouth, leaving the stupid part thing in your fingers. But yes, either way it is always a very sticky situation.
You learn the darndest things in the Cafe every Monday. Thank you Rebecca!!! I stand corrected and will do another test with concord grapes. This is the crackpot from the post who was griping about peeling grapes. Possibly the same reasoning, when they are in season I am going to try to peel cherries b/c apparently that is a thing also. Not sure anyone on this delightful Newsletter is peeling their cherries.
Wow. Did she peel them as well? There wouldn't be much left, but I do think cucumbers are one of those situations where peeled and unpeeled are both common but unpeeled is the superior experience BY FAR.
Not to mention people who peel cucumbers in alternating stripes to give the finished product more flair.
But that leads us to an existential question.....do alternating striped cucumbers satisfy both fans of the unpeeled and peeled variety or do alternating striped cucumbers piss everyone off?
I imagine no one is satisfied, texture-wise. But for some, the stripe effect may MORE than compensate for the annoyance, yes? I hope scientists are studying this.
This is an intro to my personal psychosis. I wash cucumbers, alternate stripe peel them and seed them. Instead of engaging why with some justification, I approve of your mother's approach and don't wish to defend myself :)
there should be a facetious emoji -- dog eats cucumbers and seeded is a better plan. I used the word psychosis without apology. I wonder if there is someone doing this for us on the street with ziploc bags ???
Looks like no one answered about grapes! You peel them for toddlers so they don’t choke on the skin. After they’re better at chewing and swallowing, there’s no need. But to carry it on very long is such a loving act. It’s very tedious.
Senior citizen roulette is a delight. I’d say you’re brave but I think NYers almost expect it. 🤣
I'm almost 70 and I try very hard to keep things light, even faced with the losses of family and friends. I know loss can be crushing but I'd rather make comments about funny or interesting things rather than tell of my loss. The seniors in this newsletter (most) felt a need to unburden themselves but I think it only reinforces their misery.
It’s interesting because the loss weighs heavy on them and younger folks like me often look at them through a lens of good humor or wisdom. I hadn’t considered they were miserable, just contemplative.
Thank you Sophie! This is fascinating. I got an email from another reader this week who said that in China, everyone peels their apples because they think it's very unhealthy to eat the peel in general. Looking forward to learning more!
I am with you on chicken thighs needing peeling if the skin is not crisp. And you are the second person to write in about not peeling kiwis. I am TOTALLY going to try that. I LOVE kiwi but never eat them because peeling them is such a pain.
I wonder if it's the act of peeling grapes or having a mother who peels them for you? I suspect it's the latter, but that's just me.
Senior citizen roulette really felt like roulette with the "what's the worst thing that ever happened to you question." Also, it's fun to play along and try to answer the questions myself.
Thank you Jillian! And I love that you pointed out that the first question really highlighted the roulette nature of the game. It was the first time the game resulted in a truly uncomfortable moment. Which not a bad thing!
I would read oodles and oodles and oodles of senior citizen roulette. Keep them coming!
Haha, thank you Brian! I love doing these interviews. Maybe I'll make it more of a regular feature.
“…he tells the crowd. “He could have made me the mayor of Topeka, Kansas.” God is supposed to have a GREAT sense of humor! I mean turning a person into a pillar of salt is comic genius!
“I’d like to report my neighbor for waving to everyone on the block.” “That’s a real New Yorker!” says the Mayor.' He is, of course, referring to the caller.” HILARIOUS AND TRUE!
“When I find an old person who is willing to play, I have them pick a random number, ask the corresponding question and record their response.” Anne that is such a fair and unbiased way to do the survey! Bravo!
“And how does one win Senior Citizen Roulette? It’s just like life. Nobody wins! Ever!!” Seniors realize this. But, as NYC proves, RATS WIN!! And cockroaches…
The Senior interview I liked the best was Phil, 77, Borough Park, Brooklyn. The others were too maudlin, nothing much to enjoy in their responses (sorry Anne, sometimes it’s a swing and a miss).
Phil said some cool things: “I once joked around and said, “This is where I want to be when I die,” alright? I played softball most of my life. My whole life. I said, ‘Take me to the pitcher's mound, cross my arms. Have a football in one arm, a softball on the other arm and the racing form in the middle of my chest. I'll be a happy person! When I die, make it nice and quick, but give me thirty seconds. If it’s inevitable that I'm going to go, give me thirty seconds and that's it.”
I’m almost 70 and I liked Phil’s scenario! It’s very uplifting!
Now I joke around similarly about my demise, if I have a choice: I don’t even want 15 seconds, just a second or two after the loudest explosion ever and the shock wave. Time enough for my last words: “WHAT THE F—K WAS THAT??!!!”
JRB! LOL That would be a great ending for sure.
And Phil was my favorite as well. He made me laugh and laugh.
Anne I'm sure the following quotes ring true for you!
“When people don't express themselves, they die one piece at a time.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson
“I go to seek a Great Perhaps.”
― François Rabelais
“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
― Woody Allen
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”
― Hunter S. Thompson
“When he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.”
― William Shakespeare
“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”
― Mark Twain
These are great JRB! I'll have to come up with some sort of death-themed issue just for you!
Im already imagining Anne can make death fun!!!
NO NO NO!!! I wrote those comments as a counter-punch to the topic of death...people take death too seriously...
“You strip from me the laurel and the rose!
Take all! Despite you there is yet one thing
I hold against you all, and when, tonight,
I enter Christ's fair courts, and, lowly bowed,
Sweep with doffed helmet the heavens' threshold blue,
One thing is left, that, void of stain or smutch,
I bear away despite you…
My panache.”
― Edmond Rostand, Cyrano de Bergerac
I sometimes surmise (since I write also but in an amateurish way) that the JRB comment stream in the Cafe is some of the very best things I read every week. You always seem to manage to capture the Anneisms of joy and silliness. I like that.What is the standard for the best things I read? I cannot resist smiling. Mark Twain, a resident of Anne and my hometown, wins this arrays of quotes IMO. I wish someone like him were in every one of my social clubs.
Cafe Anne HOF: "They say God comes when you need him, not when you want him" -- your follow up questions are a master class.
Thank you Mr. Dolan!
Happy early birthday to you, Anne! Thank you for making Monday mornings bright.
So sweet! Thank you Justin!! :)))
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE MOST CREATIVE AND AMUSING WRITER I'VE EVER KNOWN!
“Romance novels are birthday cake and life is often peanut butter and jelly. I think everyone should have lots of delicious romance novels lying around for those times when the peanut butter of life gets stuck to the roof of your mouth.”
That is a weird quote. Thank you JRB!
I agree it is weird. Swing and a miss sometimes! Have a great celebration!!
what time zone are you in? wednesday here!
OK, Anne - I’m 72. Since I’m slightly dyslexic, what’s question 27?
Uncle Ralph
Uncle Ralph! Question #27 is, "What's the scariest thing you've ever done?" Would love to hear your answer!
Go on my first date (a dance) with a girl, at age 16, in 1969...it was a double date since I didn't have a drivers license yet...the couple we doubled with, Bill and Rosanne, had been going together for a while so for sure they had kissed (and more?!)...the dance is over, we drive home and we're in the driveway at my GF's house and I'm, as we said then, "sh-ting little green apples" wondering IF I will get a kiss goodnight and even if I do will I do it right since I never kissed a girl before...and I was scared of what Bill and Rosanne would say if I didn't get a kiss or if it was just a peck...so my knees are shaking as I walk my GF up the steps of her porch...what am I going to do to get a kiss?? Luck was on my side because she turned back to face me and somehow I moved my face towards hers and our lips met...AND HER MOUTH WAS OPEN!!! She taught me everything I needed to know about kissing with that first kiss (I was thinking to myself as it was happening, "This must be a French Kiss!" Heck I didn't know!). Her mom had to come out to break us up! I walked back to the car to triumphantly meet the eyes of Bill and Rosanne with a "take that!" I mean what is scarier than being a teenager, not knowing how to kiss and performing in front of other teens your first time? If I flopped it would have been all over school in a matter of hours without the help of social media...I had dark hair, a dark complexion and brown eyes (of an Italian lover) and wore a leather jacket to LOOK tough..so everyone assumed that I had kissed a hundred girls...on that porch, that night, by luck, that myth was confirmed...the nuns, though I got good grades, blackballed me from the National Honor Society because of rumors of my shady character...the nuns figured I was in the National On-Her Society, which may have been partially correct; but I dated a lot of girls and never took their "honor" from them, even when the opportunity presented itself...I married the only two women who, by mutual agreement, gave up their honor to me...I LOOKED like Lothario, nothing more...my poor mom was upset that I didn't get into the NHS for her entire life...Nuns, what can you do??
Ok, is this a typical politician or what? Constantly tells everyone he hates rats. And then we find out his own house is actually infested with rats and he lost a court case about it! And it wasn't even the first time he's been in court about it?
This is incredible to me, and also super disappointing. I thought he was supposed to be cool and different.
I am so sorry to your illusions have been shattered, LH Reader. Life can be really brutal. Be gentle with yourself today, please.
😂
Wow! Senior Citizen Roulette may be my new favorite thing!
Yay I love hearing this. Thank you Kimberly!
I was missing the Eric Adams Watch, so this one hit the spot, Anne! I loved, or should I say, hated, his Valentine's Day message. Seriously, that one was a master class in weird. Also, I was thrilled to see that Eric Adams isn't above the law. Sure, it's a relatively small fine, but it's good to know that the rule of law is still alive and well in NYC. That said, I need to know more about this recycling rat nest the Mayor left outside his door. Is it possible that he was framed? Or, do you think Eric Adams embodies a kind of duality where he hates rats so much that he's determined to help them multiply? Maybe that's a little too Jungian for Eric Adams, or maybe his war against the rats is a war for his soul.
LOL
Mr. Estrin, I think the Mayor's whole life is a master class in weird. But well put!
I love the idea that his war on rats is the war on his own shadow side. The outer reflects the inner, you know. Maybe instead of a Rat Czar, he should be hiring a Jungian analyst?
Isn't most of the nutrition in the grape skin? So wasn't the doting mother inadvertently denying her eventually-a-billionaire-son valuable, brain-fuelling nutrition? Would he be even richer now if he HAD EATEN THE SKIN?! I don't peel grapes or carrots for the same reason.
And oh my holy god do I love senior citizen roulette! Can we all play? interviewing seniors form different parts of the world? I'll volunteer to do Australia!
AWESOME post, Anne - Senior Citizen Roulette is an incredible invention! What a great bunch of people with such wonderful answers. 🙌
Thank you Rebecca! So glad you enjoyed! I really loved each of these people and what they had to say as well. Not to mention the fact they are cool with me sharing this on all the internets.
There is ONE grape that is worth peeling and that is the Concord grape. It is so juicy and flavorful, and the skin is just the packaging that gets in the way. It’s worth getting your fingers sticky!!
I totally agree Rebecca. Except you don't really PEEL a concord grape, correct? It's more like you squeeze it until the delicious sour blob thing flies into your mouth, leaving the stupid part thing in your fingers. But yes, either way it is always a very sticky situation.
You learn the darndest things in the Cafe every Monday. Thank you Rebecca!!! I stand corrected and will do another test with concord grapes. This is the crackpot from the post who was griping about peeling grapes. Possibly the same reasoning, when they are in season I am going to try to peel cherries b/c apparently that is a thing also. Not sure anyone on this delightful Newsletter is peeling their cherries.
Very informative! Thank you.
My mother used to take the pits out of cucumbers for my brother.
Wow. Did she peel them as well? There wouldn't be much left, but I do think cucumbers are one of those situations where peeled and unpeeled are both common but unpeeled is the superior experience BY FAR.
Not to mention people who peel cucumbers in alternating stripes to give the finished product more flair.
But that leads us to an existential question.....do alternating striped cucumbers satisfy both fans of the unpeeled and peeled variety or do alternating striped cucumbers piss everyone off?
I wonder.
I imagine no one is satisfied, texture-wise. But for some, the stripe effect may MORE than compensate for the annoyance, yes? I hope scientists are studying this.
This is an intro to my personal psychosis. I wash cucumbers, alternate stripe peel them and seed them. Instead of engaging why with some justification, I approve of your mother's approach and don't wish to defend myself :)
Wow! I am always WAY too hungry to put that much time into preparing anything. But, RESPECT!!!
there should be a facetious emoji -- dog eats cucumbers and seeded is a better plan. I used the word psychosis without apology. I wonder if there is someone doing this for us on the street with ziploc bags ???
OMG!! Hilarious!!
Looks like no one answered about grapes! You peel them for toddlers so they don’t choke on the skin. After they’re better at chewing and swallowing, there’s no need. But to carry it on very long is such a loving act. It’s very tedious.
Senior citizen roulette is a delight. I’d say you’re brave but I think NYers almost expect it. 🤣
AHA!!! No! No one has explained until now! Thank you Chevanne.
And no I am not that brave. In the park, on a sunny day, most folks are happy to chat. Glad you enjoyed the SCRs!
I'm almost 70 and I try very hard to keep things light, even faced with the losses of family and friends. I know loss can be crushing but I'd rather make comments about funny or interesting things rather than tell of my loss. The seniors in this newsletter (most) felt a need to unburden themselves but I think it only reinforces their misery.
It’s interesting because the loss weighs heavy on them and younger folks like me often look at them through a lens of good humor or wisdom. I hadn’t considered they were miserable, just contemplative.
Hi! I love your newsletter :)
My grandma always peeled grapes! And most of my other relatives, too. I think it's fairly common practice in China (for fear of pesticides or perhaps because of the texture) and other parts of Asia, too. See: https://www.reddit.com/r/China/comments/ctv6mr/is_this_a_china_only_thing_peeling_grapes_because/
and also: https://www.quora.com/Why-dont-Japanese-people-eat-grape-skins
Thank you Sophie! This is fascinating. I got an email from another reader this week who said that in China, everyone peels their apples because they think it's very unhealthy to eat the peel in general. Looking forward to learning more!
I have an idea maybe it’s dumb but maybe it’s not: junior citizen roulette. I for one am curious what the 18-22 yo crowd thinks about all this
That is a great idea Alex! I'd want to round up a totally fresh set of questions from readers for that.
Hello! I do not peel kiwi fruit. I do peel chicken thighs if the skin is not crisped. I hope you have a happy birthday!
Hi Ann! Thanks for the birthday wishes!
I am with you on chicken thighs needing peeling if the skin is not crisp. And you are the second person to write in about not peeling kiwis. I am TOTALLY going to try that. I LOVE kiwi but never eat them because peeling them is such a pain.
I wonder if it's the act of peeling grapes or having a mother who peels them for you? I suspect it's the latter, but that's just me.
Senior citizen roulette really felt like roulette with the "what's the worst thing that ever happened to you question." Also, it's fun to play along and try to answer the questions myself.
Happy, happy, happy birthday, Anne!!
Thank you Jillian! And I love that you pointed out that the first question really highlighted the roulette nature of the game. It was the first time the game resulted in a truly uncomfortable moment. Which not a bad thing!