I Asked 100 New Yorkers for a Dollar's Worth of Wisdom

A CAFÉ ANNE 100th-Issue Celebration!!!

Hello Everyone,

Happy New Year and welcome to Issue #100 of CAFÉ ANNE!

Rah! It’s true. We’ve now published 100 issues—as many as I can count on all twenty of my paws!

I am especially pleased that this milestone coincides with the newsletter hitting 10,000 subscribers! (10,013 as of this morning). A special nod to JP, who was subscriber #10,000. Email me your street address, JP, and I’ll send you a surprise in the mail!

Thanks to everyone for your support. The café has grown a lot since it launched two years ago, with 70 subscribers. For Substack nerds, I’ll have a full semi-annual update on the newsletter’s progress in the next issue, including which stories were favorites and which were total flops.

Meanwhile, huge New Year shoutouts to new paid subscribers Suzanne H., MMPH and Edward S. That’s enough $$$ for five months of membership at the gym that no one goes to in January because it’s too crowded!

I am very excited about this week’s issue, of course. I lost my mind over this 100-issue situation and went on a real rampage to create the feature below. Please enjoy.

Regards!

Anne

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I Asked 100 New Yorkers for a Dollar’s Worth of Wisdom

To celebrate the 100th issue of CAFÉ ANNE, I knew I had to do 100 of something, preferably related to NYC. Friends suggested I survey 100 New Yorkers. But what about?

At the same time, I was mulling an even more serious dilemma. Just before Christmas, an admirable CAFÉ ANNE subscriber mailed me a holiday card—and enclosed a $100 bill! I vowed to spend this gift on something really special. But what?

What I wanted more than anything, I decided, was real wisdom. Then I had a flash: Could I buy this wisdom from my fellow New Yorkers?

I decided to approach 100 people around the city and offer them cash for their insight.

Last Tuesday, I exchanged my $100 bill for 100 singles and hit the streets of Brooklyn and Manhattan. While I had no idea what to expect, I did feel some trepidation. Having done street interviews for years, I've developed a good sense of who to approach. But with a 100-person goal and limited time, I couldn't afford to be choosy.

I was heartened when the first people I approached, a couple sitting in Brooklyn’s Cadman Plaza, seemed delighted to help.

"Be patient with yourself," suggested Jack, a recent law school grad.

"Free Palestine!" said his pal Re, a lawyer.

Lorane, a retired Verizon worker sitting nearby, advised leaning on God.

"Talk to him about everything," she said. "I don't care what it is. If you lose your glasses, 'God, what did I do with my glasses?' He'll bring you through it. There's nothing he don't know about us."

Considering NYC's reputation as a godless town, God came up a lot in the conversations.

"Trust in God," said Anthony, 51, a facilities manager. "He wins in the end!"

An aside—the folks who suggested relying on some sort of higher power generally struck me as the most cheerful—even those who were homeless. Make of this what you will!

For the sake of consistency, I approached each person employing the same strategy. "Happy New Year!" I said, and gave them a huge smile. When I had their attention, I held out a $1 bill and asked, "Could you give me a dollar's worth of wisdom?"

I later tallied the responses in a nine-column, 950-cell spreadsheet. You can check it out here. And here are the results:

18 persons refused to participate. “I don't sell my time!" growled an artist sketching in Washington Square Park. "I don't talk to strangers!" sniffed an elderly man at an outdoor café.

I didn't take it personally—I got the sense from these folks that I was just the latest annoyance in what had been a long, highly annoying life.

Another 13 said that unfortunately, they had no wisdom to give. "I'm looking for wisdom myself!" was a common response.

One man offered to pray for me. Another told my fortune.

On several occasions, despite the fact that I was literally handing them a dollar, the person assumed I was asking them for money. And I could not dissuade them of this notion. New Yorkers are so used to strangers asking for money, it seems, they could not comprehend what was actually happening.

I am happy to report, however, that in the end, 56 people agreed to share some wisdom. Of those, 36 took the dollar while 20 declined the cash. I think the fact that one-out-of-five New Yorkers were willing to give free wisdom to a stranger on the street is pretty good!

I was also surprised that no one demanded a higher price, with the exception of Mark, age 45. He was, of course, a banker.

"You want real wisdom? You need to way up the stakes for that!" he said.

But when I offered an additional dollar, he relented and offered his wisdom for free. "Love is like oxygen. Breathe in as much love as you can!"

The survey, which included 100 New Yorkers ages 12 to 82, turned out to be a lot of fun.

I couldn't resist approaching Gregory, for example, who I spotted on the uptown 5 train. The street performer was covered head-to-toe in gold spray paint including his clothing, face, glasses and shopping cart.

His wisdom? "Invest your money in gold!"

I also enjoyed advice from China Doll, a 38-year-old administrator: "Party, party, party, take a break, and party again!"

Many, in fact, took a light-hearted approach.

“If the doctor says stay in the house for five days, but you feel okay, you don't have to stay in the house for five days!” said Iris, age 82, who was enjoying a shopping trip with a friend. “Go with how you feel!”

"Never trust the MTA time-table," said Mark, a 53-year-old musician who had just missed his train.

Ronny, a retired commodities trader in Grand Central Terminal, offered a counterpoint: "There's always another train coming!"

Moriah, a 30-year-old artist, gave the question considerable thought before responding, "Wipe down the toilet seat before you go to the bathroom."

“I prefer loyalty over love,” said Ogushi, a 40-year-old security guard from Nigeria. “Those who have loyalty to you are always going to be in your life. I can love a cup of coffee, but that cup of coffee is going to be gone!”

Several asked to know exactly what I meant by "wisdom," to which I responded, "A profound truth that can guide your life." And I got some profound responses! My favorite, from Randy, a retired cook: "Once you know yourself, you know everything."

I subscribe to that notion myself, and as I get older, I find it's true on a deeper and deeper level. My favorite variation, paraphrased from Carl Jung: "That which is not made conscious appears outside as fate."

Another dandy came from Amy, a 42-year-old teacher leading a herd of teens on a field trip: "If they want to, they will."

And I can't argue with the wisdom of Lane, a student from Colorado who was in the city visiting a friend. "Stay in New York!" he said. "I moved to New York, and left New York, and now all I want to do is come back."

Alan, a Lower East Side bike shop owner, shared the wisdom of his English Bulldog, Mui-Mui: “Dogs show what the world should be. All they do is love us, and they're loyal.” His friend India, meanwhile, offered succinct advice: “Stay off the streets!”

Lacking the wherewithal to approach more a few dozen people in one outing, it took me three days (and roughly five hours total) to survey 100 people. And as the project went on, some themes emerged.

The most common response was perhaps the oldest wisdom on the books—variations on the Golden Rule. "Treat people the way you want to be treated. If you want respect, you have to give respect back," said Bella, age 12.

When Santi, a 25-year-old artist taking a break from skateboarding outside Brooklyn Borough Hall was the fifth person to offer this wisdom, I pressed him a little. "That's the most common answer!" I said.

"But not a lot of people do it," he said. "Just like common sense is not common."

"Why do you think that is?"

"It's so simple,” he said. “It's disregarded."

Another common theme struck me as more contemporary: Be yourself! Don't listen to others!

"Always live without boundaries. Pursue your passions. Be you, whatever the world says," said Justin, a 21-year-old student sitting with friends in the park. "Always do what fuels your soul, not your pocketbook. It will fuel your pocketbook eventually."

I agree with this notion 100%, with one caveat—many people don't have a clue who they are, or what will truly make them happy. So this “wisdom” is sort of like telling someone who wants be rich: “First, start with a billion dollars.”

Another common response: Never Give Up!

"It's not about how many times you fall, it's how many times you get up. Not a lot of people really understand that," said Santi's skateboarding buddy, Ming, a fellow artist.

Is that actually wisdom? I suppose this depends on your aim. I loved the exchange I had with my doorman, John.

"Set a goal in life and don't stop until you reach your goal," he advised.

"What's your goal?" I wondered. I assumed he was aiming at wealth, or fame.

"To be the best father, grandfather, son and brother I can be," he said.

"Wow!" I said. "You can't go wrong with that!"

“All bad art is better than most good art,” advised Solan, 22, who was selling his work in Washington Square. “You want people to express themselves and make it true to the way they feel, not some idea of what art should be.”

The final theme to emerge? In the words of Jequan, a 35-year-old delivery guy: "Enjoy it while you can!"

Many advised staying relaxed, accepting what is, and not taking things too seriously. "Learn to take it slow and take it in stride," said Daniel, a 45-year-old EMT. "It's not as big a deal as you think it is. People need to calm down a bit and listen a little more."

Amen! Of course, that's easier said than done. It's taken me years of meditation and spiritual practice to learn how to calm down. And I still have a ways to go!

Perhaps the wisest advice, however, came from Alex, a 50-year-old delivery man in Downtown Brooklyn.

"Could you give a dollar's worth of wisdom?" I asked, offering a dollar.

"You can't get s— for a dollar! That's wisdom for you!" he replied.

Then he snapped up the bill and handed it to a nearby homeless man.

So what did I learn in the end? It goes something like this: Never Stop Striving but Accept Things the Way They Are. Always Consider Others while Doing What Makes You Happy. Also, Don't Trust the Time Tables Because You'll Miss Your Train but Relax There's Always Another Train. And, ultimately, Don't Trust Anyone, Love is the Answer.

I definitely got my $36 worth, haha!

The next question, of course, is how I should spend the remaining $64. Please leave your suggestions in the comments or email them to annekadet@yahoo.com. Got some wisdom to share? I’ll take that too!

CAFÉ ANNE is a free weekly newsletter created by Brooklyn journalist Anne Kadet. Subscribe to get the latest issue every Monday!