Oh Boy, Have I Got Some 'Stuff' for 'You'!

Eric Adams Watch! Ask Dan the Librarian!! Personal Uniform FAQ 2!!!

Hello everyone,

Welcome to Issue #104 of CAFÉ ANNE!

Wow, I got so much reaction to last week’s feature, in which I recounted my NYC adventure that began with asking a cabbie to drive me to the destination of his choice, and then exploring the neighborhood in which he dropped me—relying on strangers to suggest my itinerary. Many wrote to say you were inspired to try a similar adventure in your own town, and I hope you do!

A particularly interesting comment came from reader Claire in Manhattan. “What an amazing, whimsical day,” she wrote. “I think you might suffer from pronoia, Anne. It's the strange, creeping feeling that everyone’s out to help you.”

I had to look it up, but it’s a real thing. The opposite of paranoia, according to Wikipedia, those with pronoia “believe that the world around them conspires to do them good.”

Of all the delusions one could have, this is hardly the worst.

I also got a lot of comments about how I ended the day by burning the remainder of my adventure allowance and, when that was taking too long, flushing it down the toilet.

Several wrote to note that setting money on fire is a federal crime. “Burning money—what a rush!” wrote reader Mark D. in Minnesota. “18 U.S.C. § 333.”

I investigated his penal code reference. Destroying currency, it turns out, can get you six months in prison. On the other hand, according to my buddy ChatGPT,  “If you burn money as a form of expression or as part of a performance art piece, it may be protected as free speech under the First Amendment.” So Jerome Powell, if you’re reading this, that’s definitely what was happening—art!

I also got some delightful responses to my request for readers to share their own tales about the dumbest thing they’ve ever done with their money. Reader Jessica R. wrote about how she stashed her cash in a paper bag while traveling in Nepal. “A monkey grabbed it right out of my hand,” she said. “Gone forever.”

Penny in Australia emailed how she and a coworker ironed a $50 bill under a tea towel to make it pretty for a photo shoot, not realizing that the local currency contracts in extreme heat. It shrank to the size of a postage stamp. “We laughed and laughed, and then we cried because the bank wouldn't exchange it, even though it was perfect in every way except size,” she wrote.

But my favorite was from an anonymous reader who emailed to confess, “Drunkenly ordered a wrong-sized mattress online after Thanksgiving dinner.”

Finally, several readers requested a photo of my adventure day lunch, a giant mortadella affair from Pisillo. So here you go:

I don’t think the photo truly conveys the monumental size of this sandwich. I still have 3/4 of the remainder sitting in my freezer. I’m saving it for the apocalypse! To chuck at zombies, of course.

Okay! Time for this week’s thank yous! Huge Plans-for-a-New-Port-Authority-Bus-Terminal shoutouts to new paid subscribers Lulu K., Katie O., Laurie M., Eric J., and Peter G., That’s enough $$$ for 125 bags of “evening rush” popcorn at Zaro’s before they tear the whole thing down!

I am very excited for this week’s issue, of course. No big feature this week, as I simply ran out of steam. But we do have a new edition of Eric Adams Watch (it’s been a while!), the launch of a new department, “Ask Dan the Librarian,” and responses to new reader questions about adopting a personal uniform. Please enjoy.

Regards!

Anne

ERIC ADAMS WATCH

On Mayoral Fashion, Umbilical Cords and Owl Rivals

Mayor Adams poses with the NYC’s only real newspaper

I continue to enjoy the exploits of Eric Adams, whom my friend Aharon refers to as “New York City’s first AI-generated Mayor.” As a profile in Politico put it, “In a city of weird people and weird mayors, Adams is maybe the most idiosyncratic figure to ever hold the office.”

Here, round-up #21 of the mayor’s doings:

December 17: In wide-ranging interview with TV station PIX11, the mayor notes that NYC is truly a town where anything can happen: “This is a place where every day you wake up, you could experience everything from a plane crashing into our Trade Center to a person who is celebrating a new business that’s open!”

January 9: When online news site Hell Gate conducts a street survey asking, “Which of these three public figures is the most favorable to you: Mayor Eric Adams, former Governor Andrew Cuomo, or Flaco the Eurasian eagle-owl,” 95.7% select Flaco, the popular owl who last year escaped his enclosure at the Central Park Zoo and now lives in the park. Only 4.3 percent select Adams, and no one chooses Cuomo.

January 10: When a reporter asks Mr. Adams about a passage in his 2009 book, “Don’t Let it Happen,” in which he recounted a youthful incident pulling the trigger on what he thought was a fake gun at school, the Mayor claims the event never happened, that the co-author of the book “misunderstood,” and that anyhow, the book “never got into print.” As the Daily News later notes, the book is currently for sale at Barnes & Noble.

January 10: In a hard-hitting New York Times analysis of the mayor’s wardrobe over a 30-day period, the paper identifies at least 24 different suits or suit jackets in his collection, many from high-end designers. “Not once during the month of observation did he appear to wear the same necktie twice,” adds reporter Sarah Naslin Mir, who also notes his colorful pocket squares, collar pins and beaded bracelets. A spokesman responds, “Mayor Adams grew up and remains true to his blue-collar roots no matter the color of the collar on his shirt tomorrow.”

January 24: In his annual State of the City Address, the mayor praises his female staffers adding, “These women. Let me tell you something. You know, you may cut the umbilical cord, but that fluid that carries you is something that's spiritual and lasts a lifetime!”

ASK DAN THE LIBRARIAN

Why Must I Wait for My E-Book?

Several months ago, in response to a piece I wrote about home libraries, I got a delightful email from reader Dan the Librarian, a library professional, with some useful tips for deciding which books to keep and what to purge. I quoted his note in the next issue and, because so many CAFÉ ANNE readers are library regulars, asked he’d consider penning the occasional advice column, “Ask Dan the Librarian.” He said yes! The first question, of course, is from me, asking about a borrowing issue that’s been bugging me for years.

DEAR DAN THE LIBRARIAN: I borrow a lot of books from the Brooklyn Public Library by putting them on hold. I'll typically get the requested book within a couple weeks. But a popular new release (like Emma Kline's The Guest), can take months to arrive because there are literally hundreds of holds on a small number of copies. 

I understand this has to be the case when I request the print edition. There are only so many copies to go around. But why must I wait for an ebook? Isn’t there, at least in theory, an infinite supply? Couldn't the library simply "rent" a few hundred digital copies from the publisher and vaporize them when demand falls?

Regards!

Impatient Reader

DEAR IMPATIENT READER: What an excellent question!  Why can't we simply "rent" a digital copy from the publisher? As the great philosopher Method Man wrote in Cash Rules Everything Around Me, publishers want to make money, so they control the supply of digital copies of books. They know that you, brave user of the library, may go ahead and buy the book if you don't have the patience to wait for a copy.

Libraries can sometimes buy "seats" or "users" for an ebook. They might be able to buy a copy of The Guest, for example, and allow 50 people at a time to download this title. But for a library to purchase a digital copy, they typically have to pay the same, or sometimes more money for an electronic book which has limited sharing capabilities. 

There are also several reasons a library might want to invest in a physical book rather than an ebook. I can loan the physical copy to another library outside of my system via interlibrary loan, for example. We also know that while a digital copy is not accessible to everyone, a physical book doesn't require anything else to read. You don't need electricity, a charger, or a device. You just need your eyes and imagination!

Have a question for Dan the Librarian on anything library related? Please email your query to annekadet@yahoo with the subject “Ask Dan.”

DEPT. OF PERSONAL EXPERIMENTATION

Personal Uniform II: Return of the Personal Uniform!

Back in Issue 101, I ran a feature story, “I Wear the Same Thing Everyday and I Love It!” In it, I detailed my experience wearing a personal uniform—the same exact outfit, every day, for months on end. I only change when the seasons change and the weather forces a shift.

Currently, the uniform consists of a $30 black pencil skirt, a $40 black button down and $20 black tights, all from Amazon. Plus $90 black ankle boots from Steve Madden.

I thought I covered every possible angle in my write-up, but I still received many follow-up questions from readers, both in the comments and via email.

First, we’ll start with an email from a reader in Kansas who had a LOT of questions (this is edited for brevity):

Changing things up seasonally seems important. Is there any time of overlap in your seasonal wardrobes? Or do you decide one day in the spring or fall, bam, it's time to change? What did you do with your rainbow closet when you adopted this uniform? What about outerwear, and perhaps also hygiene practices?

-Hazlett H.

When it comes to seasonal changes, I try to avoid overlap. I wear my uniform until I just can’t stand it—when it gets too hot in late spring for long sleeves, or too cold in the fall for bare legs—and then commit to the next iteration.

I donated my entire “rainbow closet” to Goodwill, but not all at once. First I got rid of the stuff that didn’t fit. Then all the stuff I didn’t actually like. And then the stuff I did like, but knew I’d never wear again because I had finally made the total commitment to an all-black uniform. It took a couple of years!

For outerwear, I own one rain jacket (black), a very cool wool coat (black), and, for when it gets really cold, one of those terrible-looking puffer coats (black). Plus black, fingerless winter gloves and a black wooly scarf. So I look like a ninja even when it snows!

As for hygiene, I do remove my uniform when I shower, if that’s what you’re asking.

How many pairs of each uniform clothing item do you own roughly? Like, what’s the turnaround like?

—Alex D.

I currently own seven of the shirt (including two backups still in their packaging) and six of the skirt (two backups). I generally wear each item twice before washing, unless I happen to get sweaty or spill something, and that is not likely as I am a very cool lady. I think I own roughly 40,000 pairs of of the black tights, however. Not sure how that happened.

Because the clothing is cheap trash, it has to be replaced fairly often—roughly every six months.

What’s your take on accessories?

—Amy C.

I’m not sure I own anything that qualifies as an "accessory." I have one black leather purse—a 1990s-era Coach bag—and when I need something larger, a black canvas tote bag, from LandsEnd, with my initial on it. How I love my own name!

What about jewelry? As a jeweler of sorts I know that we humans love to display our significant thoughts and opinions, including opinions about our own worth, by how we adorn ourselves.

—Sarah C.

I've worn the same necklace (a silver double vajra pendant which I love because it is Buddhist, and is very meaningful to me, but does not LOOK Buddhist) for a decade, along with a pair of silver cuff earrings which I chose because they are inconspicuous. Neither comes off, ever.

I also wear an extremely ugly $18 white plastic digital watch from Amazon because it makes me laugh and has a backlight.

But what about when you're lounging at home?

—Elizabeth M.

The lounge outfit is same as the ex-o-cise outfit: black yoga pants and a black tank top. The black tank top is also my summer uniform shirt. When it's chilly I’ll add a black cashmere zipper hoodie.

Is there a group out there championing/supporting those who want to move to uniform dressing?

—Debbie. B.

Another reader, Amy M., suggested the community around Wool & dress, which has a 100-day personal uniform challenge. I’m not sure if you have to buy one of their dresses to participate.

I’d be tempted to copy you exactly if it weren’t for all the dog hair I’d have to battle. But wait, don’t you have a dog?

-Tina N.

My dog, Minnie, who is sort of a miniature Border Collie, is mostly white. So yes, roughly 50% of my day involves fun with the lint brush. The next dog, if there is one, will likely be a schipperke.

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