This was beautiful in many ways and a great interview. Hospice, having experienced it on two occasions, is the most peaceful and special process and the people who make it happen are gems.
To me it is ironic that a wonderful process finally exists for end of life. So many faith traditions tout a certainty to what is next based upon having done certain things in our past. Hospice doesn't purport to know but instead focused on the present which is the only tense we can control. The past and future provide no solace to dwell nor unbridled certainty to imagine.
I believe there is a bright future for the rubber plant. There are sourdough yeast starters that are decades old, no reason a plant can't recover.
Mark! Thank you for your faith in the rubber plant. (I keep wanting to call it a rubber TREE plant but that makes no sense.). You're right, it should do at least as well as some decades old yeast starter.
It's interesting what you say about hospice providing such a great service because it focuses on RIGHT NOW. Never thought of it that way. But seems to me that often people, society, institutions etc. sacrifice the right now for a better future which of course never arrives. So, YES!
While not meant as cynical, I think that institutions LIKE to blame the past and tell you HOW THEY ALONE can fix something in the future. For a politician that is BLAME the other guy and PRESCRIBE something that will make it all better, all with an unhealthy dose of certainty. For a religious institution it is offering forgiveness for the past and promise for the future, again with an unhealthy dose of certainty. With age I have come to realize we only have the present and the rest may just be an illusion. Living your present with newfound vigor means you've figured out how to be informed by the past. Living your present with focus means you are not avoiding the preparation for your future. Hope I don't sound like David Koresh :)
I dunno, Diane practically had a huge blinking neon arrow floating over her head the first time I met her, so not sure I can take credit on this one. :)
Diane's right about the grocery store being a fun job. I've worked as an organic chemist, marketer, financial analyst, and journalist. Stocking shelves and helping customers find stuff at Kroger is still the most fun I've ever had at work.
So cool, Amran. I do have some happy memories of my own stints cashiering at the TOPS supermarket in East Aurora, NY and before that, at Bells on the other side of town. But they are mostly about me being a bad employee, hanging out in the break room eating all the donuts, riding my bicycle down the cereal aisle, etc. Hopefully I'd be more of a Diane figure if I ever went back to it.
I have a friend who worked as a producer, real estate agent, and a few other things. He’s currently stocking shelves at a grocery store in his hometown and loving it.
There's something intrinsically satisfying about manual labor that the "knowledge economy" fails to offer. I got into woodworking a few years ago and love it too. Physical hobbies are the perfect complement to writing.
1. Anne, Diane should have been the caretaker for the rubber plant! Diane's story goes to a theory that I espouse that your life-trajectory is "MOSTLY" determined when you take your first breath; Diane was born into a wealthy family and that opens the world to possibilities. It's like hitting the life-lottery. For sure she has given back to the common-good, for her good fortune at birth. Being able to work retail and enjoy that experience is remarkable. Living in the Behr Mansion is the Universe repaying Diane's kindness; what a great place to live! https://ny.curbed.com/2016/5/4/11591834/brooklyn-heights-behr-mansion-nyc-history
2. "Ms. McDonald rung me up. 'WOW!” she said. “Your hair is FANTASTIC! You look STUNNING!'" What a great example to the world on how to be uplifting to others. That should be the 11th Commandment!
3. My heart broke seeing that artisanal bread on the pavement. I'd have ate it, right there!
4. "Which is a little like being famous in Irkutsk, but I’m thrilled." Great line. Made me guffaw!
5. OMG! I HATE eating Cheetos with my fingers! Chopsticks from here on out for me! I can't even reach inside a potato chip bag for fear the hair on my arm will touch the greasy side of the bag!! And no, I'm not hairy like a gorilla!! More like a bear, maybe!!
6. I buy used books purely in the hope of finding a photo, a card of some type or a person's name who owned the book. What a great story about the photo inviting a grown man to retrieve it from halfway across the world! A dream come true for me!
1) It's funny, I almost didn't include the fact that Diane was born into a wealthy family. As if it somehow takes away from her story. But that would have been dishonest, right? What a weird impulse on my part.
3) I've eaten plenty of found food myself. trash myself. In fact just ate a (wrapped) cookie I found on a seat outside a cafe the other day and some chocolates (also wrapped) I found on a bench on the Brooklyn Heights promenade. And LOOK WHO'S STILL ALIVE.
5) I'm employing this strategy myself but for me it's NACHO CHEESE DORITOS.
6) In a used book over the weekend I found an old metro card, a flyer for a new video store circa 1990 maybe, and another flyer for Tom Paul, shaved head wire glasses singer/songwriter, appearing at the Bitter End, Sunday November 8, 8 pm, cover $5, also roughly 1990 or so. Tom's phone number and email were on the back, written in ball point pen. Anyone know this man? I should email him and find out how he's doing....
So interesting! Diane is a living oxymoron - someone who works so closely and intimately with death, is extremely and passionately alive! She is a great inspiration for me today, to love unconditionally because of the grace shown to me.
It's interesting, right? As a Buddhist, I am supposed to be meditating on the reality of my impending death on a regular basis. Though I seldom actually do this practice, one of the supposed benefits is that yes, it DOES make you come alive.
So glad you found Diane to be inspiring. Thank you Brad!
Diane is a joy to work with every day. I'm about to join the U.S. Marines and her dad was one back in the day, so I've gotten some trickle down advice from Diane about daily life in the CORPS. For the past two years I've worked here it's been a little draining being one of the casheres that try to be actively friendly and nice to the customers on a daily basis, so having her around and seeing whenever her and I get to share a shift puts some joy in me. She makes the days go by a lot faster and she's just a great work buddy to have around while working for the legal tender. I'll be sad to day goodbye to her when I deploy, but I hope in doing so I'll make her proud.
Aspenn! So fun to see you commenting here and hearing a little about what it's been like for you at the Key Food. I'll have to fix the spelling of your name. Sorry about that!
There is a grocery store in Missoula, Montana, Orange Street Food Farm, that has the same kind of people working their check out. The warmth I could not find elsewhere, enveloped me at Orange Street. People making a difference!
I just came from your interview with Substack, Anne. I'm really grateful to have read it and then got to know a little bit about your work. I'm a journalist here in Brazil. This report with Diane is the kind of report I love to do. I love telling stories about "invisible people". Unfortunately, there are too much eyes that are not able to see how amazing some people are. Fortunately you have this "power" with you. Congratulations on your work! My English is sort of rusty after some years not practicing frequently, but I hope you understand my message. I'll keep following this beautiful work on Café Anne. <3
Hi Esdras! It's so cool to hear from a fellow writer in Brazil with a similar sensibility! I'm subscribing to your newsletter now (even though I can read maybe one out of ten words in Spanish, haha). Thanks for your kind words!
This story was exactly what I needed. I was down and mopey yesterday and this was literary Prozac! Diane is my newest role model. Thank you for writing about her.
Also - went ahead with an annual subscription to keep the joy coming!
Oh wow! Lisa, thank you. This newsletter does take a lot of time to create every week and I really could not do it without the backing of folks like you who pay for a subscription even though it's free.
Also, love your phrase 'literary Prozak.' And yeah, Diane is my new role model too.
Loved reading this! Just the uplift and inspiration I needed today. Thanks!
So happy to hear that. Thank you Amanda!
💯
Anne and Diane are amazing! Check out Diem Eatery in Brooklyn Heights, they have incredible banh mis, gelato, and a hidden door.
Oh I pass by there a lot and never went in. Will check it out. Thanks Yuri!
This was beautiful in many ways and a great interview. Hospice, having experienced it on two occasions, is the most peaceful and special process and the people who make it happen are gems.
To me it is ironic that a wonderful process finally exists for end of life. So many faith traditions tout a certainty to what is next based upon having done certain things in our past. Hospice doesn't purport to know but instead focused on the present which is the only tense we can control. The past and future provide no solace to dwell nor unbridled certainty to imagine.
I believe there is a bright future for the rubber plant. There are sourdough yeast starters that are decades old, no reason a plant can't recover.
Mark! Thank you for your faith in the rubber plant. (I keep wanting to call it a rubber TREE plant but that makes no sense.). You're right, it should do at least as well as some decades old yeast starter.
It's interesting what you say about hospice providing such a great service because it focuses on RIGHT NOW. Never thought of it that way. But seems to me that often people, society, institutions etc. sacrifice the right now for a better future which of course never arrives. So, YES!
While not meant as cynical, I think that institutions LIKE to blame the past and tell you HOW THEY ALONE can fix something in the future. For a politician that is BLAME the other guy and PRESCRIBE something that will make it all better, all with an unhealthy dose of certainty. For a religious institution it is offering forgiveness for the past and promise for the future, again with an unhealthy dose of certainty. With age I have come to realize we only have the present and the rest may just be an illusion. Living your present with newfound vigor means you've figured out how to be informed by the past. Living your present with focus means you are not avoiding the preparation for your future. Hope I don't sound like David Koresh :)
Well said
Thank you -- sometimes I am slow to circle back...
This was a joy to read. Diane seems so inspiring!
She is! I've been wanting to write about her for months. Thank you Kimia!
dang i think this was my fav cafe anne yet! Diane is a treasure and I feel changed for the better after reading her wise words
Wow thank you Alex! So happy you came away feeling like that!
You certainly have real talent for finding these amazing people.
I dunno, Diane practically had a huge blinking neon arrow floating over her head the first time I met her, so not sure I can take credit on this one. :)
But thank you!
Diane's right about the grocery store being a fun job. I've worked as an organic chemist, marketer, financial analyst, and journalist. Stocking shelves and helping customers find stuff at Kroger is still the most fun I've ever had at work.
So cool, Amran. I do have some happy memories of my own stints cashiering at the TOPS supermarket in East Aurora, NY and before that, at Bells on the other side of town. But they are mostly about me being a bad employee, hanging out in the break room eating all the donuts, riding my bicycle down the cereal aisle, etc. Hopefully I'd be more of a Diane figure if I ever went back to it.
Sounds like you were a model employee!
I have a friend who worked as a producer, real estate agent, and a few other things. He’s currently stocking shelves at a grocery store in his hometown and loving it.
There's something intrinsically satisfying about manual labor that the "knowledge economy" fails to offer. I got into woodworking a few years ago and love it too. Physical hobbies are the perfect complement to writing.
Thank God for the Dianes of the world! We need more like her... and I hope to bring the same encouragement and joy to others.
Thank you Brian! She inspired me too. Now I am wondering how not to forget. It's so easy to forget....
What a special story. Diane's mindset is so inspirational. What courage and strength and character. She's a lesson for us all.
Yep, cool lady for sure. Thanks Jillian!
1. Anne, Diane should have been the caretaker for the rubber plant! Diane's story goes to a theory that I espouse that your life-trajectory is "MOSTLY" determined when you take your first breath; Diane was born into a wealthy family and that opens the world to possibilities. It's like hitting the life-lottery. For sure she has given back to the common-good, for her good fortune at birth. Being able to work retail and enjoy that experience is remarkable. Living in the Behr Mansion is the Universe repaying Diane's kindness; what a great place to live! https://ny.curbed.com/2016/5/4/11591834/brooklyn-heights-behr-mansion-nyc-history
2. "Ms. McDonald rung me up. 'WOW!” she said. “Your hair is FANTASTIC! You look STUNNING!'" What a great example to the world on how to be uplifting to others. That should be the 11th Commandment!
3. My heart broke seeing that artisanal bread on the pavement. I'd have ate it, right there!
4. "Which is a little like being famous in Irkutsk, but I’m thrilled." Great line. Made me guffaw!
5. OMG! I HATE eating Cheetos with my fingers! Chopsticks from here on out for me! I can't even reach inside a potato chip bag for fear the hair on my arm will touch the greasy side of the bag!! And no, I'm not hairy like a gorilla!! More like a bear, maybe!!
6. I buy used books purely in the hope of finding a photo, a card of some type or a person's name who owned the book. What a great story about the photo inviting a grown man to retrieve it from halfway across the world! A dream come true for me!
JRB!
1) It's funny, I almost didn't include the fact that Diane was born into a wealthy family. As if it somehow takes away from her story. But that would have been dishonest, right? What a weird impulse on my part.
3) I've eaten plenty of found food myself. trash myself. In fact just ate a (wrapped) cookie I found on a seat outside a cafe the other day and some chocolates (also wrapped) I found on a bench on the Brooklyn Heights promenade. And LOOK WHO'S STILL ALIVE.
5) I'm employing this strategy myself but for me it's NACHO CHEESE DORITOS.
6) In a used book over the weekend I found an old metro card, a flyer for a new video store circa 1990 maybe, and another flyer for Tom Paul, shaved head wire glasses singer/songwriter, appearing at the Bitter End, Sunday November 8, 8 pm, cover $5, also roughly 1990 or so. Tom's phone number and email were on the back, written in ball point pen. Anyone know this man? I should email him and find out how he's doing....
1. Don't mind me with my opining on being born into wealth. That's the poor kid in me. Diane is a mensch, regardless.
6. WOW! You hit the jackpot with that used book! Is The Bitter End still open? That's a blast from the past!
Yes it still open ("NY's Oldest Rock Club") but I think the flyer was from 1992...
Wow! Thanks for writing, Anne.
So interesting! Diane is a living oxymoron - someone who works so closely and intimately with death, is extremely and passionately alive! She is a great inspiration for me today, to love unconditionally because of the grace shown to me.
Thanks again!
It's interesting, right? As a Buddhist, I am supposed to be meditating on the reality of my impending death on a regular basis. Though I seldom actually do this practice, one of the supposed benefits is that yes, it DOES make you come alive.
So glad you found Diane to be inspiring. Thank you Brad!
Diane is a joy to work with every day. I'm about to join the U.S. Marines and her dad was one back in the day, so I've gotten some trickle down advice from Diane about daily life in the CORPS. For the past two years I've worked here it's been a little draining being one of the casheres that try to be actively friendly and nice to the customers on a daily basis, so having her around and seeing whenever her and I get to share a shift puts some joy in me. She makes the days go by a lot faster and she's just a great work buddy to have around while working for the legal tender. I'll be sad to day goodbye to her when I deploy, but I hope in doing so I'll make her proud.
Aspenn! So fun to see you commenting here and hearing a little about what it's been like for you at the Key Food. I'll have to fix the spelling of your name. Sorry about that!
There is a grocery store in Missoula, Montana, Orange Street Food Farm, that has the same kind of people working their check out. The warmth I could not find elsewhere, enveloped me at Orange Street. People making a difference!
I googled your store Abigail! So many comments on how friendly it is. I agree these little things make a big difference in people's lives.
I just came from your interview with Substack, Anne. I'm really grateful to have read it and then got to know a little bit about your work. I'm a journalist here in Brazil. This report with Diane is the kind of report I love to do. I love telling stories about "invisible people". Unfortunately, there are too much eyes that are not able to see how amazing some people are. Fortunately you have this "power" with you. Congratulations on your work! My English is sort of rusty after some years not practicing frequently, but I hope you understand my message. I'll keep following this beautiful work on Café Anne. <3
Hi Esdras! It's so cool to hear from a fellow writer in Brazil with a similar sensibility! I'm subscribing to your newsletter now (even though I can read maybe one out of ten words in Spanish, haha). Thanks for your kind words!
It will be an honour ❤️
This story was exactly what I needed. I was down and mopey yesterday and this was literary Prozac! Diane is my newest role model. Thank you for writing about her.
Also - went ahead with an annual subscription to keep the joy coming!
Oh wow! Lisa, thank you. This newsletter does take a lot of time to create every week and I really could not do it without the backing of folks like you who pay for a subscription even though it's free.
Also, love your phrase 'literary Prozak.' And yeah, Diane is my new role model too.
Thank you for finding out about the photos. I'm so happy that my question ellicited such a lovely little story!
Me too Tine! Thank YOU for asking!