68 Comments

I like to personally imagine that the $25k Guinea pig tower is designed to look like the Empire State Building and that there’s a Guinea pig doorman, and an elevator operator who takes all the others to their proper floor where their apartment is located.

I think it’s Anne’s journalistic responsibility as a “silly blogger” to find out more about this tower.

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I agree! I will email ACC and see if maybe I can get an in-person look at this thing. Maybe sleep over!

And yes, this being an NYC guinea pig tower it should for sure have a doorman...

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And said doorman inspects each for dropped balls and teeny-weeny penies. 🤣

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Oh no I just saw this so vividly in my imagination!!!

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Can you find out WHAT IS THE OTHER PROCEDURE that has that vet questioning his life choices?

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LOL great question! I shudder to think!

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Human-identified-as-animal spaying?

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I am desperate to know as well!

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Okay everybody, learning what is this "other procedure" is PRIORITY #1 for the next newsletter.

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My question also!

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Solving the guinea pig problem is relatively simple. It seems these rodents are delicacies in Peru and because there are an estimated 100,000 Peruvians living in New York City, perhaps some City Council members (base salary $149,000 per year) can be persuaded to subsidize some Peruvian eating establishments that feature this national treasure. Multiculturalism at work!

Here's the link:

https://www.cntraveler.com/stories/2014-09-25/the-one-dish-to-try-in-peru-is-guinea-pig#:~:text=Cuy%2C%20one%20of%20Peru's%20most,and%20it's%20a%20Peruvian%20delicacy.

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Michael this is a fine idea!

It wasn't until after I finished writing the story , actually that I finally recalled the fact that back in 2007, I went to Peru and yes, I ate a guinea pig. Perhaps I had blacked it out? The way it was served—totally intact, with the head still on-you could tell for sure it was a guinea pig. I really did not enjoy this dish, but I cleaned my plate in honor of rodent.

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A few years ago animal rescues were concerned about all the chickens being abandoned and they also failed to see the possibilities.

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Guinea pig tower. Guinea pig birth control. These ideas could only be dreamt up at a city council meeting. Pure gold.

Enjoy your holiday break, Anne!

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Haha thank you Amran. Yes, I was EXTREMELY please by this hearing.

Hope you enjoy the holidays too my friend!

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Anne, I regret to inform you that I need significantly more information about Eric Adams’ SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLAR RAT RIDDANCE GAMBIT. eg,

What anti-rat strategies were included?

What drove him to these lengths?

Was there one event that led him to a breaking point?

Did it work?

Didn’t the rats just move to a different block?

And then come back?

This is, I’m afraid, just my initial round of questions.

Thank you.

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Clearly I am going to have to schedule an in-person interview with the mayor dedicated to all things rat. A fine goal for 2023. Thank you for these great questions Jessica!

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I’m intrigued about the metrics that he used to prove the rats were gone too! Cameras? Hired help to count rat traffic? Who knows!

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So the 25k$ Guinea pig tower is something they bought to house the unwanted GP’s?

I love how everyone gives the name of their pets including and especially Charlie.

I can imagine you at this wondering if it was going to be juicy enough for an article and then being pleasantly surprised as the hijinks began.

This made me laugh out loud a few different times- thank you!

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Thank you K. Kyle!

Yes, this tower came up a couple times during the hearing and was bought to house the guinea pigs, I gathered, in a way that saved space. I just Googled "guinea pig tower" btw, and there were many results but nothing that cost more than $200. Then I Googled "gigantic industrial guinea pig tower" and still nothing. Perhaps it was a custom job?

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Anne! Ted Gioia just chose your street chess life advice story as one of his favorite things he read this year! Congrats. He’s clearly got excellent taste.

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WOW that is great news! I am a huge Ted Goia fan, of course.

This is really going to help my newsletter.

Thanks for the heads up!!!

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Have a very merry happy holiday! Thanks for making my 2022 brighter and delighted-er!!

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Thank you, always mysterious "A!" I appreciate your support all year. Wishing you a very merry holiday as well!!

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Does Mayor Adams have a position on Guinea Pigs? I’d hate for them to get caught up in his anti-rat crusade. Also, is anyone in the NYC press asking how Adams can afford to lose so much by taking his salary in crypto AND afford a trip to see the World Cup in Qatar?

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Asking the tough questions AGAIN Mr. Estrin!

As far as I know, the Mayor has not addressed the guinea pig issue. But if he hates rats as much as he claims, I can't imagine he is a guinea pig fan. I will be sure to ask when we finally have our sit-down.

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If you’re having trouble getting an interview with Adams, I suggest writing about rats. His passion will align with your story, and that’s the golden ticket.

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Wow. That first illustration with the various photos of our endangered friends really IS an explosion of guinea pigs! I looked at it for a long time, ha ha.

My brother and I got guinea pigs as pets in 1970 or so. His was mottled, black and brown, with the kind of fur that goes every-which-way. Name of Blackbeard. My guinea pig had smooth white fur and red eyes, so naturally I named her Ruby Eyes. They lived in a spacious wooden box in the basement, and enjoyed periodic trips to the backyard to enjoy the grass. What became of them? I don't remember. I've probably blocked it from my memory.

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I may have worked longer on that illustration than I did on the story, BA. I'm glad it was clearly worth the time I put into it.

I love how kids just name their pets the most obvious thing, without getting too clever about it. Kind of like mobsters.

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I was definitely a mobster child... how did I not realize that before 😅

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You have taught me, so late in my life, that council meetings are the true sources of entertainment. I have missed so many. So many!

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Haha—it's never too late for new beginnings Mark!

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Is NYC going to become known as the rodent capital of the world? Or is that what everyone's already saying about us and I just didn't know it? First rats, now guinea pigs!! Thanks, as always, for your "silly blogger" reporting! Have a wonderful, restful break!

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Jillian! It occurred to me as well that this was sort of an all-rodent issue. Not sure if this is a reflection on the city or just a coincidence.

If I had to pick an animal to represent NYC it'd be hard to choose between the pigeon and the rat. In truth they are likely different aspects of the same creature.

Thanks for your sweet wishes! I hope you have a wonderful holiday!

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I'd vote for the pigeon for sure! Yeah, they are kind of gross up close, but when they are all flying together, they are so beautiful! Feels like a fitting metaphor for NYC.

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I would guess that since we sprinkle seeds of all sorts on our bagels (and lots of them hit the ground), both the pigeons and rats are happy that New Yorkers are obsessed with bagels :) -- indeed an all-rodent issue, the way your Mayor likes it :) If they had a vote, I think the pigeons and rats would vote to BAN the plain bagel.

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Enjoy your break til 2023. The bagel talk was fun. Steam instead of boiling just sounds like progress and way less mess and waste. What the hell do you do with big pots of water anyhow. Almost all food processes go toward steam as it saves a ton of money and way less waste. I'm surprised some environmentalists haven't looked to ban boiling water for bagels in water-starved California :) My guess is that would make the locals say yeah but because they like things the way they are and tend to like exceptions for their own favorite stuff :)

Birdseye view by saying not a reporter, just a blogger. This probably means a future of TikTok and Instagram influencer / jackasses at City Council meetings all over the country. Councilwoman Schulman just likes to hear herself talk. Nothing to add so instead of passing the microphone tell everyone about her dog history.

A few years ago I had the bright idea to make "homemade" pretzels on Superbowl Sunday. The recipe for pretzels and bagels about the same and you have to put them in boiling water before baking. It was the biggest mess with baking soda getting on everything as the pretzels boiled. If this is what people face when making bagels it sounds like a real bad job!!! IMO whatever they cost is probably worth it.

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Mark! I have also made homemade pretzels and homemade bagels, and boiled both. And yes its pretty much the same recipe. It it all about the shape do you think?

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Since I called out the councilwoman, I will stay on topic!!!

I agree that it is ALL ABOUT THE SHAPE!!!! It seems the entrepeneur out there will start making bagel sticks with mustard and pretzels with a schmear! I personally like homemade pretzels as they are not as chewy.

SIDEBAR -- Color me SHOCKED as I never expected you to be cooking and baking from scratch! I thought it begins and ends with Nyquil!!! I still remember the MESS OF THE BAKING SODA, maybe I'm a slob.

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Oh no your original impulse is quite correct. I DO NOT BAKE. When I moved into my apartment in 2017, the oven was broken, and it is still busted.

The bagel and pretzel efforts were made in my younger, more domestic years, before I went went totally feral and stopped cooking.

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FURTHERMORE, since it is clear you are left with only a magnetron to reheat food, buying a pie or other thing that can use a slow reheat is simply not worth it for our favorite blogger! You are interesting and awesome!

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My judgement remains intact :) Us humans are SO INTERESTING. Some are OBSESSED by cooking, some by cleaning, some by exercising, some by TV, some by reading, some by money. This moderation thing is no easy principle. I am sure it is safe to say that some are OBSESSED by moderation. The range of human behavior is AWESOME!!!

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“I’m a silly blogger.” Omg! 🤣🤣🤣

Also, one wonders whether the person behind the ban on rat-adjacent guinea pigs might be a certain mayor... Or perhaps an inundation of street-smart guinea pigs would overtake the rat population and provide a solution to his rat woes!

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Hmmm! Guinea pig vs rat who wins??? But you did say "street-smart guinea pigs"...

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I mean, obviously the rats, but perhaps there is some way to toughen up the guinea pigs...

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Best sentence/question: "Since Mr. Varley is a bagel expert, I also asked a question prompted by reader JudgeRoyBean: If a bagel is not boiled (as is the case with Oakwood’s bagels), does it even qualify as a bagel?"

Answer: “Boiling is for sure step one for classic taste, flavor, etc. and you would never get people off the fact that it's necessary for a quality bagel.”

Wow!! Who is that JudgeRoyBean??!! Is he some kind of “bagel-Svengali?”

Words to remember if you want to gain entrance to just about anything: “I’m a silly blogger.”

Want to go through the storerooms at Mar-A-Lago and the Secret Service stops you, just say the magic words, “I’m a silly blogger,” and shazzzaammm! you’re up to your ears in classified documents!!

The woman in the stirrups doesn’t recognize you as her Gyno, just say the magic words, “I’m a silly blogger,” and leave it at that!

Veterinarians charging $600 to spay a guinea pig??!! Now that’s something you should investigate, Sparkles!

Best paragraph: “You know, they fool even me sometimes. Before the balls drop on the boys, it’s hard to tell. It’s kind of an art. There’s no external testicles. You don’t really have much of a penis on them. So it’s not like you’re seeing it hang out there.” It brings to mind the application of Einstein’s Theory of Relativity when guys are walking around the locker-room nude at the YMCA: It’s really a bad frame of reference to have huge thighs and not much of a penis between them. Wear a pair of gym shorts, please!

Lastly I’m usually right on the Café Anne Newsletter every Monday, but I’m 69 and the last 5 days took their toll. Probably nice for Anne and the readers to take a break from me, anyway. I wish you all so much fun at Christmas, Hanukkah and New Years that you won’t sober up or lose the 30 lbs you put on until there’s no rats left in NYC!! Maybe when you all come back, let’s trade stories about crazy uncles at the Holidays!

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JRB! Thanks for all your fun comments all year! It's been a delight. Wishing you a great, fun, rat-free holiday run as well.

Meanwhile I will try to forget the vision you brought to mind with your YMCA remark.

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I thank you for all the fun newsletters!! And I wish I could forget the vision! It's like seeing a midget between two mountains!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!

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Anne, every week you succeed in amusing me. Some parts of the guinea pig article were hysterical!!

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So glad you seem to have enjoyed the article as much as I enjoyed the hearing, Nick! Thank you!

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