35 Comments

Can't wait for those pics of stuff stored in ovens! Brilliant idea.

Another brilliant idea: lost pet posters. I love that.

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Thanks B.A.! I imagine Jessi and Mike will never, ever run out of ideas.

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A lost pet story is in order: A few years back, walking on the way to Starbucks, I spy this poster on a telephone pole. Somebody had found a lost cat…it was so weird that they said, "pet found" and not "cat found."

So that gave me an idea; when I got home, I just wrote "cat found" above two pictures of possums that I had printed off the internet. One of the possums looks like he's crouching, disturbed by an invasive camera lens. And then the other possum is hissing. https://drive.google.com/file/d/13bNxMJ8Zjkx-9CS3ig8tCHwREGaqFulB/view?usp=sharing

So I made a few copies, less than a dozen, and put them up around the neighborhood. The idea that some hapless, well-meaning person would put up a poster like this, thinking that they had a cat, it just seemed so funny. I thought it was obvious that it was a joke. I really didn't expect the calls:

The nice people:

Caller 1 “Hi. I just saw a poster. It says "cat found."

Caller 2 “I'm calling in regards to the sign you have about the cat found.”

Caller 3 “I'm calling about your "cat found" sign. And I'm just wondering, are you serious? Because I don't think that's a cat.”

The mean people:

Caller 10 “He's a really, really, really gentle spirit, but his behavior is erratic. So he loves to sleep in the same bed with people, but he can get a little aggressive. So you got to thump him in the nose.”

Caller 11 “Yeah, that cat? It's a possum, you fricking [BLEEP].”

Caller 12 “Hi. I think you found my cat. I was just calling in reference to your poster. If you could call me back, that'd be really great. Oh, and by the way, you're a f-cking idiot. That's not a cat. Bye.”

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JRB!! This is like the greatest thing anyone has ever done!!!! Your poster made me LOL. Can I include in the next issue?

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Hahahaha!!! Yes, of course you can include it in the next issue!!!

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I think you & Alex should team up for messy ass spaces. Your spin: messy ass ovens! I’ve never done it but I remember when I was in grad school, people stored their books(!) in ovens. Seemed like an appropriate reflection of our mental state at the time 😂

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Storing books in ovens: now that’s something I would do 😂

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Rando's tombstone! Wow, that's to die for. Sorry, couldn't resist. But seriously, what a great tombstone.

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I know, I was so delighted when a friend pointed it out!

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Lost pets are a depressing topic!!

But I wonder if you / your readers recall the non-depressing "Xerxes Flier," which riffed on lost-dog flier aesthetics in a pleasing way, and was a bit of a meme 15-ish years ago:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/sugarfreak/1715199256

Still makes me laugh.

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Now that is truly awesome. Thanks Rob!

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Enthralling, heartbreaking and beautiful, Anne. Your posts make my Mondays so much better! 🙌

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Oh thank you Rebecca! So happy you enjoyed!

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Nine hour walks is a next-level achievement after attention spans went extinct. Fifty minute runs stress my mind more than my body at this point.

I now want a “That Guy” tombstone.

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I have so many tombstone ideas, DD, don't get me started.

As for running, I have been performing my own 20-minute morning shuffle all spring without the aid of music. It's a strange experience. Like the good Buddhist I am, I keep muttering, "Welcome, boredom! Welcome! Welcome!"

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A good playlist is a lifesaver. I just need to stop distracting myself playing DJ and running into trees. Either way, it sounds like I need Buddhism even more than impulse control.

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Cafe Anne -- you never know what you're gonna get. (1) Aharon -- we always get the unexpected and never quite an answer to the question at hand (2) Dr Rando -- gravestones always tell more stories if we are inquisitive -- the good Doctor married a woman 28 years his senior -- cool (3) Stove/Range storage -- I am even more interested if there is a person with the original packing on the interior racks or maybe even stickers! (4) Jessi & Mike -- the original bagel trekking was one of the best! This couple captures the arc of NYC (bagels, weed bags, lost pet posters) -- the life of the city!

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Mark! It's DOCTOR Rando? Even better. Did not notice that OR his marital situation.

And I love the idea of bagels, weed bags and lost pet posters being the arc of NYC, the life of the city.

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Paging Dr. Rando -- we have a smoke inhalation victim who turned on their oven without removing the plastic items stored inside

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Could be his Mom tho. Since u pay by the letter I would think not many people go with suffixes on gravestones. If you make the stone hunting a feature see if u can find any BA, BS or MFAs -- gotta believe lawyers and maybe judges do it but maybe not dentists :)

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Holy moly so interesting! I never stopped to think that mo' writing = mo' money. If only it worked that way in the rest of the world...

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Big disadvantage for those long Polish names :) -- I remember abbr in old classified ads :)

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“AI can do anything, including create writers for CAFÉ ANNE.”

Well I find AI-haron’s comments marvelous, regardless!

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Interesting one as always Anne. I would be even more interested in the success rate of these posters. how many of these pets get reunited with their owners! Was that a question Jessie & Mike were able to investigate?

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Thanks Abdulrahman! I did asked if they had made any calls to find out what happened in each case, but no, they did not. That of course is the sort of thing I would love to do, just out of curiosity, but they've blacked out the numbers on each poster to respect each person's privacy. Maybe that's smart. Some of these posters are a couple of years old now, and a call like that might just bring up sad memories.

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“New Yorkers who use their ovens as storage units..”

OMG, our ovens in gott-damned Boardman, Ohio, are filled with cookie sheets, broiler pans, racks, pots…everything but money.

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Unfair!!!

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Anne, I believe I understood you to say "If you ask me, all cats should be in jail, but to each his own."

Funny😂. Is there a story here that you would like to share? Perhaps we could do an intervention with a super friendly kitty to bring Anne 😾 peace. 😻

Great edition!

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Oh Nick, it is true. I have never been okay with cats. Which is unfortunate, as they are everywhere, especially in my Facebook feed. Some of my very favorite people insist on owning cats.

I'm sure I'd enjoy life more if I enjoyed cats, but the actual cats make this impossible.

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RTFL!! 😂🤣😂 You are hysterical!

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Hi Anne: I really dig your newsletter and the radiating sense of curiosity behind your explorations. And I Ioved the Lost Pets of New York story. I published a book a few years ago called Lost Pets that is a collection of Lost Pet posters I collected over 10 years in the States and in Europe (I live in Bulgaria 8 months a year). I began thinking they were a U.S. thing but found them in Greece, Bulgaria, the UK, France. There is something so endearing about the posters, so earnest. They are like love letters, so raw in their affection and distress. Maybe someone should start the LPPCS (Lost Pets Poster Collectors Society)? Keep on keeping on.

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That's so cool Kelly! I just tried to find your book on Amazon but was not successful. What's the link?

And I love the LPPCS idea. Consider me a founding member!

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Cats should be running the country! 🐈‍⬛ 🐈

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Right. Everyone high on catnip and torturing small animals.

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May 16, 2023
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So glad you enjoyed, thank you Mitchell! And yes, Brando is little like those old "magic eye" posters that used to make me crazy when I was a kid.

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