I Survived the Brooklyn Macy's Liquidation Sale!

Plus! A ZYN-fueled afternoon!! Adventures in Spam Bombing!!!

Hello everyone,

Welcome to Issue #152 of CAFÉ ANNE!

So this past weekend, I took the Metro-North up to Beacon to visit my friend Allen, who I met when I was 16 and waitressing at a 24-hour diner outside Buffalo. He was a bad influence then, and he's a bad influence now!

After lunch, we stopped at a convenience store where he bought a can of ZYN, those little tobacco-free nicotine pouches you tuck between your teeth and gums.

I was already sort of familiar with the product. When I did my NYC Bodega Worker Predictions for 2025 survey at the start of the year, several counter guys told me ZYN was the new hot thing. So when Allen offered me a sample at the café to enjoy with my cappuccino, of course I said yes.

"Feel anything?" he asked after 20 minutes.

"No," I said, disappointed. I did feel a little nauseous, but that was likely due to the three pieces of fried chicken I ate for lunch.

We chatted a bit and then I glanced at my watch. Good lord, it was 5 o'clock! Hours had passed in what seemed like minutes.

"It's the ZYN!" said Allen.

I had to admit, while it's always fun to chat with Allen, it felt like we’d both been unusually clever and insightful that afternoon, exploring topics ranging from AI and Aldous Huxley to cults, punctuation, authority structures and the problem with Miranda July. My mind was zipping around, making connections, generating three ideas at once. Good times!

On the train ride back to Brooklyn, I fired up my phone and went down the ZYN rabbit hole. The brand, purchased in 2022 by our friends at Philip Morris from a company in Sweden, has seen skyrocketing sales growth. It's big with the Gen Z crowd, especially tech bros. And Wall Street bros.

Next, I googled the key ingredient: nicotine. While I smoked Marlboros for 25 glorious years before quitting in 2015, I'd never learned much about this drug. Turns out, it's an extremely effective cognitive enhancer, aiding alertness, focus and creativity. No wonder I loved smoking and writing!

I also came across a YouTube video with 20 million views in which a very kindly-looking doctor suggested, "For people who are addiction-prone, I think this can be very, very dangerous."

Right! I wrote a little memo to myself in my notebook: "If I have any brains at all, I will never try this again."

So now I'm curious: any ZYN users among the CAFÉ ANNE readership? Have you managed to keep your habit in check? Let me know in the comments!

In other news, huge nicotine-fueled shoutouts to this week’s new paid subscribers Pbr, Marcia H. and Emily. That’s enough $$$ for an 80-hour ZYN bender! Which I promise not to do!

I am, of course, very excited for this week’s issue. We’ve got some fun internet finds unearthed in a spam bomb scam, plus a look at the scene at the big Macy’s liquidation sale currently underway in Downtown Brooklyn. Please enjoy.

Regards!

Anne

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DEPT. OF SPAMVENTURES

Subscription Bomb Treasure Hunt!

Who says the internet isn’t fun anymore? Recently, after my “friend” Aharon had his credit card number stolen, he was treated to a highly entertaining “subscription bomb” experience.

The credit card thieves used his info to buy a $2,000 high-definition TV from B&H Photo, a venerable NYC electronics retailer that now operates mainly online. Then, in an effort to ensure he wouldn’t notice the order receipt sent to his in-box, they used a bot to subscribe him to several thousand email newsletters associated with everything from Art in America magazine to a natural pet food company in Italy with an interesting name:

The vast majority of the newsletters, Aharon reported, “were from Romanian, Croatian and Dutch orgs, concentrated in the travel sector.” But sorting through the spam flooding his inbox, he uncovered some online delights. Please enjoy!

Anabolic World

As the site description notes, the folks at Anabolic World are “Elite suppliers of steroid and performance enhancement drugs. We have extensive experience within the industry with a commitment to quality, safety, security, and anonymity. These four words cannot be overstated in this industry.”

The best part of this site are the customer reviews, including the following five-star rave from “Tamasone M” who purchased the steroid supplement Boldenon:

“The stuff is just incredible, I always wanted this particular brand because i did try 4 other brands and this one made me feel unstoppable. I have no clue what you guys have whipped up on your boldonon but it’s fucking nuts, the power delivery, always constantly in gorilla mode is insane just off 2m a week (boldonon 250). I’ve honestly been blasting this stuff with no major side effects other than bad acne if you smoke weed like myself but other than the blood checks, ‘nothing’ bad has happened.”

Catholic Coffee

This turned out to be a company based in Charlotte, NC that offers twelve different saint-flavored roasts!

My favorite blend? St. Michael Dark Roast:

“The Archangel defends us, at God’s command, from Satan—who is tireless in his quest to tempt souls away from Christ. But St. Michael never tires, either. He charges into battle with us each time we invoke his aid to resist temptation. This savory dark roast evokes the robust and indomitable strength of St. Michael, our ally in the fight against the devil.”

Lake Highlander Mobile Park

I loved this website for a 55+ resident-owned trailer park in Florida, especially the page labeled, “Fun Social Times.”

Sample copy: “Coffee or tea a favorite? Join with neighbors to chat and catch up on the latest news while enjoying your favorite hot beverage.” Also: “On occasion the Social Club makes arrangements for residents to go on a bus tour adventure.” Also, “The annual Corn Hole Tournament is held in March. Grilled burgers are an added treat.”

I’m movin’ in!

Alas, after the bots tried to subscribe him to the park’s newsletter, Aharon was the recipient of the saddest email auto-reply ever:

RETAIL CORNER

I Survived the Brooklyn Macy’s Liquidation Sale!

Macy’s in Downtown Brooklyn: Nothing Held Back!

After years of everyone wondering when Macy's would close its Downtown Brooklyn location, Macy's finally announced it was closing its Downtown Brooklyn location. Last month, it launched a giant liquidation sale: everything in the five-story, 440,000 square-foot store must go! Last week, I stopped by to check out the scene.

The store is on Fulton Mall, a bus-and-pedestrian only retail strip known for its street vendors hawking "Not today, Satan!" pins and shops selling $100 suits. I was photographing the storefront when a man with gold teeth and very white sneakers wandered over. He shook his head. "Macy's is closing, it's sad," he said.

The man, Donald, said he'd been shopping there since he was a teen.

"It's been here for a long time, been in the community a long time, you know," he said. "It's crazy that it's gone."

"How is the sale?" I wondered.

"It's bare walls in there now," said Donald. "You go in and just look, see what it used to be. Ain't nothing in there no more. Nope, nothing left!"

This wasn't exactly true. The first floor—offering shoes, cosmetics and rugs—looked a bit like a supermarket at the height of Covid. Half the shelves were empty, and there seemed to be no rhyme or reason behind what remained. The shoe department featured a pair of rose gold sequin platform shoes. The Bee-Gees played in the background.

It was a weird scene. "I find it intriguing to walk inside the store and see the transitional period it's in," said Stephen, who lives near Union Square and was shopping for luggage with his friend Claud, who lives in Bed-Stuy. "It's a bit eerie, in a good way. I don't know if you're familiar with the term 'liminal,' but it's a bit of a liminal space. I think it's kind of cool."

Stephen and Claud

I did not bother to tell Stephen I live my entire life in a liminal space.

Claud, meanwhile, said he was shocked the store is closing. "It's been here forever, since I was a kid," he said. "It's sad."

On the other hand, he confessed, he'd pretty much forgotten that the Downtown Brooklyn Macy's existed, and never shopped there.

Isn't that the New York way? We forget to feed the dog, and then the dog dies, and we feel sad.

But Terry, shopping in the fourth floor toy department, had remained a loyal shopper til the end, thanks to her 20% lifetime Macy's discount. She’s a former employee.

"Thirty-nine years I worked here!" said Terry, who lives in Midwood. "And the neighborhood changed, of course. When I used to work here, they had May's, they had Martin’s. They had beautiful stores all down Fulton Street. Everything changes, I guess."

Terry

The store actually dates back further than that. Founded in 1865, it was known for most of its life as the Abraham & Straus department store before it became a Macy's in 1995.

Terry sold furniture and mattresses at the location starting in the 70s and retired eight years ago, when she turned 62. She loved the job. "I love people. You see I'm talking to you, and I could talk to anybody because, you know, that's life!" she said. "It's interesting to meet people and talk to them. And as long as you like people, you can deal in a store situation. You talk to them and do the best you can and enjoy your day, that's about it, right?"

I asked if she had a favorite customer.

"I think every person I met was a favorite customer," she said.

Seeing the store closing was sad, Terry continued. "It feels so weird. But what can you do. You move on, right?"

I moved on. All five floors of merchandise were on sale. I managed stick with my favorite time-tested shopping strategy: Never Buy Anything. Still, wandering the displays, I was delighted to find many items I had no idea existed: dog bowls designed to make it hard for your dog to eat! Star Wars Storm Trooper snow globes! Copper-plated automatic cookie dough scoopers! Heated eyelash curlers!

I imagined all the inventors who dreamed these things up and thought they were a good idea. And then all the manufacturing execs who agreed, and had the items produced in great quantities. And then all the merchandizers who agreed, and decided to stock them in the store. My heart swelled with love.

I was curious to see what my fellow shoppers were buying at PRICES UP TO 50% OFF OUR LOWEST TICKETED PRICE. Roberto, a drywall installer from Chelsea, was buying underwear. Darlene, a cop from Bed-Stuy, had snapped up plaid pajama bottoms for her husband. Larry from East New York was pleased to be buying a pair of $60 pre-distressed jeans for $30: "Can't beat that!"

It struck me that one of the few things in life that reliably cheers people up is getting a discount. Maybe instead of Prozac and religion, we could just mark everything up and then put it on sale.

B—, a makeup artist from Bed-Stuy, had really hit the jackpot. She was heading to the register with a serving tray, pastel notepads, a pair of exfoliating socks and a fluorescent, claw-shaped gizmo I could not identify.

"It's to open jars, because what's the most annoying thing at home—you can't open a jar, right?" she said.

She was clearly a lady with few problems.

Like everybody, B— was bummed the store was closing. "It's probably going to be an apartment building," she said. "Which sucks for the community. Where are we going to go shopping?”

Which raised a good question. What could possibly fill five vacant floors of retail space in Downtown Brooklyn, each the size of a football field?

Thomas, who lives in Dumbo and was browsing the menswear department, said he worked in real estate, and in his estimation, apartments would never work. "You don't have the windows," he noted of the block-wide floors. "And office space? No one works in an office anymore."

He wondered if Macy's still owns the building.

"They sold it!" I told him, and filled him in. According to the NY Post, the retailer sold the property for $23 million in December to an investor who promptly flipped it to another investor for $36 million, which then brought in a third investor who bought a share valuing the property at $80 million. Macy's, apparently, needs better real estate advice.

Thomas said it'd be smart to split the building into several stores, one on each floor. "And maybe an entertainment floor."

"A giant nightclub!" I suggested. "A giant disco!"

"That would be fantastic," said Thomas. "Like Danceteria, back in the day. It was a different theme on each floor. Fantastic. You'd get off the elevator and everything would be blue, blue lights. And another floor—disco lighting. It was a great place!"

Thomas, former Danceteria regular

"I can kind of see that here, sort of," I said.

"But the rent would be crazy," said Thomas.

"You're thinking like a New Yorker," I observed.

"Yes!"

I asked more people what they'd like to see replace the Macy’s, and was amused when the same response came up again and again: most folks wanted another Macy's. "Or something like a Macy's," said Darlene, the cop.

Others hoped for the return of some smaller stores that had recently closed nearby: a Modell's, a Century 21, a Nordstrom Rack. Others suggested a restaurant or movie theater.

People are funny. While some dream big, what many folks really want out of life, it seems, is simply of more the same. Maybe a little extra.

Curious to test this theory, I also started asking people if they could take home anything in the store for free, what would it be? Macy's sells plenty of big-ticket items: diamond necklaces, leather sofas, designer bags. But the folks I interviewed expressed more modest wishes.

"An air fryer," said a retired construction worker.

"Sheets and towels," said a Williamsburg mom.

The only satisfying response came from Larry, the fellow from East New York buying the half-price jeans. "I'd go up to the mink coat floor!" he said.

We both laughed. There is, of course, no mink coat floor at Macy's.

I did, however, encounter a few dreamers.

Lisa, a project manager from Kensington, imagined converting the store into a giant kids play space featuring trampolines.

"Five stories of trampolines?" I pressed.

"The kids would love it!"

The lady cop suggested a huge spa with a swimming pool.

"An all-women center so they can get mammograms and colonoscopies," said Angie, a home health aid buying a hoodie for her husband.

"A shelter or something to help the needy people," said a man named Tony who might have been homeless himself. "A garden or a free clinic."

"There's so much stuff we're missing," said Tommy, a young man shopping for a belt. "Stuff for the kids. They the future. More educational programs. Hands-on stuff. Get the kids interacting, off their phones. Dart games. All types of water games. Right now, Coney Island is the only water games you have. A little Coney Island this side of town? It'd be awesome!"

Tommy

Coney Island North! I added this to my checklist.

Vanessa from Bay Ridge, who was trying on winter coats, turned the tables on me.

"What would you like to see?" she asked. "You're the journalist."

"Maybe an aquarium," I said. "And a giant indoor petting zoo!”

So what would you like to see in Downtown Brooklyn? Let us know in the comments.

Meanwhile, the sale continues for at least another three weeks, and everything must go, even the mannequins.

"It's slim pickings, and it gets a little slimmer every time," said Vanessa, who has already made several visits. "But the discounts keep going up!"

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“Where there are a thousand faiths we are apt to become skeptical of them all.”

—Will Durant

CAFÉ ANNE is a free weekly newsletter created by Brooklyn journalist Anne Kadet. Subscribe to get the latest issue every Monday.