105 Comments

I don't know if this is weird to admit, but I am a fan of moss. I would love to visit this store. Did you know there is a Japanese mascot, Marimokkori, who is a moss ball? With... balls. As in testicles. I wrote about him because I love him and my mum read my newsletter and told me not to write about moss balls again, ha ha ha

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"We specialize in moss. We don't sell anything but moss," said owner Adzi Jasari”

WOW!! Reality that is right out of the comedy series, “Portlandia:”

https://youtu.be/NfLu7GRMR7g

https://youtu.be/yYey8ntlK_E

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So funny JRB. Yes, exactly like that!

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Anne, you need to see MArimokkori! It has a GIANT mossy ball in the front of its costume! https://www.tamamono.my/updates--articles/marimokkori-an-awkwardfunny-marimo-character

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haha the soup bowl scene is particularly disturbing!

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I freakin love moss. Join the crew.

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Moss is having a moment. But you were there first I'm sure!

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In 2012 I made monogrammed wood letters of my daughter’s initials. The first was with moss, lichen, and a cardinal.

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Sounds lovely!!

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So funny Katie! Yes, I am familiar with the notion of moss-obsessives because I have a friend, Caitlin, who now lives in LA, who just loses her mind around moss. We went for a walk once in a forest upstate that had a lot of mossy paths and I was worried her head would explode.

I get it—it's intense and strange but also somehow gentle, and there's nothing greener than moss. Nothing.

I just googled Marimokkori and it's exactly as you described. So bizarre. For those who are curious, here is a link:

https://www.tamamono.my/updates--articles/marimokkori-an-awkwardfunny-marimo-character

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Nobody in Arizona should be complaining about other city's politicians.

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Zing! Excellent point, Amran. :)

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I’ll allow it.

[also: Arizona isn’t a city ;)]

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The moss fellow is inspirational. Cool man. Another terrific read. Thanks so much.

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I agree Beth, I get so inspired by anyone who creates their own path. Glad you enjoyed. Thank you!

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Eric Adams is a strong contender for "Most Unintentionally Hilarious Politician."

He has used this line on several occasions: “All my haters become my waiters when I sit down at the table of success.”

Other than a rudimentary rhyme scheme and a heavy-handed metaphor, what does this even mean? Very excited for more of these gems as he tries to secure the 2028 Democratic nomination after four more years of consistent faceplants.

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Yes it's even funnier that he has used this phrase more than once. This fact has me imagining that it is a line that he repeats to himself when things get tough. The idea of which is strangely endearing!

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I hope he sat at a table at the Manhattan Sbarro's before it closed and he thought to himself that was a table of success.

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LOL oh what a fine vision that is!

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"More dolphins, fewer rats" is my new mantra.

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Good one! Yes! In general, we could all benefit from more dolphins and less rats.

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MORE DOLPHINS MORE RATS.

We can do this, people, and we MUST!

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You're right Aharon. Even better.

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dont forget : "Save Hugh Manatee!!" (rick derringer)

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Have a wonderful vacation! And the stories today were superb! You are such a good writer. I felt like I was right there seeing all that moss! And I may buy some moss artwork one of these days!

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So glad you enjoyed Cindy! Thanks for the high praise. I'm in the market for some moss now myself. It's just very satisfying to look at.

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When I remember that NYC had Rudy Giuliani as a mayor, I think you've come a long way; love the Eric Adams Watch! About the Moss Guy: at first, I was reminded of artificial flowers, but when I read that he creates each piece sort of like a painting, I loved it. BUT -- Anne -- stores dedicated to chopsticks? Pencils? SALT??? I hope we'll find out! 💖

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Jessica, I could do a story on each of those stores, right? But they've all been around for a while and written up by others.

I DID write about the artisinal mayonnaise store, though. Gosh, it was so long ago!

https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424127887323478304578334301406674308

I didn't think about it but yes, quite a contrast between Giuliani and Adams. Though I don't think we will ever have a NYC mayor who doesn't have a giant ego. And I don't mean that in a bad way I think it's a requirement.

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Thanks for the link, Anne -- that is so impressive! TEN years ago! A glimpse into the beginnings of Café Anne; wonderful. And I agree about the giant ego without which one probably wouldn't even think of becoming mayor of NYC. But there are better and worse giant egos... Hmmm; when I look at this sentence I'm not sure it's correct.

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Oh, and I forgot AGAIN: meant to wish you and your doggie a restful, regenerating, and nevertheless exciting vacation!

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Thank you Jessica!

And you have inspired an idea: maybe and worse giant egos CHART!!!

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Oh wow, that'll be absolutely fabulous and hilarious -- can't wait!

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Let's get to it (1) Enjoy your vacation (2) Love the moss man's A/C drain (3) moss as art is pretty cool (4) Eric Adams is the gift that keeps on giving (5) Enjoy your vacation

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Mark!

1) Thank you!

2) You always notice the strangest details in the photos!

3) AGREE

4) Yes I always worry he'll tone it down but he NEVER DOES

5) Thank you!

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(1) ur welcome (2) the career job warped my mind (3) think how much more time you would have at your disposal if we could inject you with some sugar and you wouldn't need to eat for years (4) when Ventura retired as Governor, he moved to Mexico, surfed and advocated for hemp -- what will Adam's do without the limelight??? (5) ibid

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“That’s enough $$$ for five Uber rides from Rockaway Beach to the nearest hospital!”

PMP over that one!!!!! Anne you are just hilarious. I “square to gob” you are the funniest writer out there…do you think your “humor superpowers” are from getting irradiated yearly at the Nine Mile Station nuclear power plant? Like you’re sort of a combination of an Avenger and the Joker?

BTW, feel free to use, “square to gob” to punk counter-staff when you order your “skwon!”

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Hmmm. I've only been staying near the nuclear power plant for five years...do you think that's enough time to have an effect?

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Well, are you funnier than you were five years ago??

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This likely depends what you mean by "funnier."

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Well that made ME laugh, so you answered my question!!

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I long ago lost it or wore it out but back in the day t-shirts were made at the plants during refueling outages. It was a picture of a glowing atom on the front and on the back it said "the atom is your friend"

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“His post includes a “STATE OF THE CITY” graphic featuring a banned rat and a dolphin wearing an “I love NY” t-shirt. ‘More dolphins, fewer rats—and I'm proud to see we're making progress.’”

OK, this is the opening I needed: Hiz Onner needs to address the problem of mapping-out which streets to avoid in NYC that exude the most distinct "summer street-pee smell?"

NYC is notorious for not allowing pee-ers into their establishments to pee!

This could be an initiative for Hiz Onner, the Mayor, to make NYC more accommodating to denizens and tourists alike...it could spark a boom in commerce!! He could create a new cabinet position: Czar in charge of mapping streets notorious for that “summer street-pee smell.”

Hiz Onner could even invite the two Russian prostitutes from the notorious Trump "pee-tapes" as celebrities announcing the initiative: Ivana Pissallova and her sister, Imgonna Pissallova, along with their agent, Boris Bladderoff!

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Adult diapers are almost as large of a market as baby diapers. This is why most Facebook profile pictures are headshots only. SF is also infamous, alas, for public #2s -- even if this invites a reply, I am retiring this thread.

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I love moss though I’ve never heard of preserved moss, must check out the Moss

Boss. Sounds like a moss wall hanging depicting a t-shirt wearing dolphin is in your future.

Also, I’m immediately going to start using the line, “my haters become my waiters when I sit down at the table of success.”

Have a great trip!

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Rob, you will pleased to know (if you weren't already aware) that this is not the first time the mayor has employed the haters/waiters declaration:

https://hellgatenyc.com/dear-eric-adams-its-time-to-go-beyond-haters-and-waiters

And you're right, we definitely need to see that new city seal rendered in moss.

Thanks for your kind vacation wishes!!!

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That makes sense. When you come up with a line like that, you don't let it go. Hell Gate looks like a good site, thanks for passing it on!

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Oh I love HELL GATE! It's a great news site started by a bunch of NYC reporters who gave up on the other local outfits. It's for-profit and hey split all the revenue among themselves, so it's also a bit of a co-op. Very good mix of investigative and fun NYC news. I've been a subscriber for a while.

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I don’t even know where to start 🤣🤣🤣 but I do know I need an I ❤️ 🐬 NY tee and some moss, asap! Have a great vacation, Anne!

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Jolene, now you've got me thinking I really need to create that tee-shirt. I'm sure the mayor wouldn't mind.

And thanks for your kind wishes. I am really looking forward to this vacation and hoping it will unfry my brain!

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Yes! I need merch! 😂 Cheers to enjoying well deserved down time! 😊

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I looove moss!! I foraged for some during a hike and made a couple attempts at live moss terrariums during the pandemic which was fun but didn’t last. The only live moss plant I have right now is actually embedded in a large rock. Along with my zz plant, it’s outlasted everything. Might not make it all the way to that store, but I admire the art the owner is making.

Anne, I went to the rubber stamp store! As luck would have it, I also love rubber stamps and use them for thank you cards or gift messages. They do custom orders too! Haven’t thought of any ideas yet but you’ll be the first one I tag when I have it.

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Chevanne, do you know Jason Chatfield? He's a fellow substacker and also a cartoonist for the New Yorker. He recently suggested we collaborate on a feature about the rubber stamp store. And I was very excited about this until I did a google search and discovered it has already been covered a zillion times. But I still want to go, cuz I've never been, and get a rubber stamp made of the CAFÉ ANNE logo. Or even better, a red ink rubber stamp that simply says, "NO".

Congrats on your moss victory btw! You are a MOSS WINNER.

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Ooo... haven’t heard of him but I’ll pop by his Substack. Sure, it’s been covered a zillion times, but it hasn’t been covered by YOU. That’s the difference. 😊

Go, get that logo made and tell us all about it.

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As soon as Mr. Jasari admitted that he killed every house plant he ever encountered, I was SOLD. MossBoss is on my bucket list!! Thank you a thousand times for a Cafe Anne that is primus inter pares! Have an excellent time on your interesting vacation, and here's a link to the radiation detection emergency medical management site in case you are exposed while you're there: https://remm.hhs.gov/civilian.htm

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Aaaaah Therry, I had to look up "primus inter pares" which made me very happy. What a good phrase to have handy! Can't wait to use it.

I am a fellow plant killer, btw, except for this one asparagus plant who's been putting up with me for more than a decade. So maybe try one of those?

Thank you so much for the link to the radiation detection and survey devices page. I printed it out and ate it, so now I am feeling protected.

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Oh Anne, my job here is DONE!

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"Preserved moss doesn't need sunlight or water—just an occasional dusting."

You think right here may be the secret to the Mayor's super-powers?

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Appleton... as in Appleton Estate?

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no estates that i know of but if you cud drum one up im all in!!!🤣😉

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Wait. The moss art he’s dusting costs a hundred and twenty bucks??

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NYC baby!!!

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I love moss! So glad to hear someone is being creative with it.

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Haha Team Moss is coming out of the woodwork! :)

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Honestly, I've never really thought about moss. But I've killed a lot of plants, so maybe moss is something I should be thinking about. As for Eric Adams, I just adore that quote about haters becoming waiters at the table of success. Is he good Mayor? I don't know. Is he a treasure? Yes, he is! Have fun on your vacation, Anne!

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Mr. Estrin, as a fellow plant killer, I am for sure now among the moss-interested myself. Esp. as I now know where to buy it wholesale.

I also love the quote. I've noted this elsewhere in the comments, but it seems its actually one of his regular pet phrases:

https://hellgatenyc.com/dear-eric-adams-its-time-to-go-beyond-haters-and-waiters

Thanks for your kind wishes!

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