105 Comments

I don't know if this is weird to admit, but I am a fan of moss. I would love to visit this store. Did you know there is a Japanese mascot, Marimokkori, who is a moss ball? With... balls. As in testicles. I wrote about him because I love him and my mum read my newsletter and told me not to write about moss balls again, ha ha ha

Expand full comment

"We specialize in moss. We don't sell anything but moss," said owner Adzi Jasari”

WOW!! Reality that is right out of the comedy series, “Portlandia:”

https://youtu.be/NfLu7GRMR7g

https://youtu.be/yYey8ntlK_E

Expand full comment

Anne, you need to see MArimokkori! It has a GIANT mossy ball in the front of its costume! https://www.tamamono.my/updates--articles/marimokkori-an-awkwardfunny-marimo-character

Expand full comment
author

haha the soup bowl scene is particularly disturbing!

Expand full comment

I freakin love moss. Join the crew.

Expand full comment
author

Moss is having a moment. But you were there first I'm sure!

Expand full comment

In 2012 I made monogrammed wood letters of my daughter’s initials. The first was with moss, lichen, and a cardinal.

Expand full comment
author

Sounds lovely!!

Expand full comment
author

So funny Katie! Yes, I am familiar with the notion of moss-obsessives because I have a friend, Caitlin, who now lives in LA, who just loses her mind around moss. We went for a walk once in a forest upstate that had a lot of mossy paths and I was worried her head would explode.

I get it—it's intense and strange but also somehow gentle, and there's nothing greener than moss. Nothing.

I just googled Marimokkori and it's exactly as you described. So bizarre. For those who are curious, here is a link:

https://www.tamamono.my/updates--articles/marimokkori-an-awkwardfunny-marimo-character

Expand full comment

Nobody in Arizona should be complaining about other city's politicians.

Expand full comment
author

Zing! Excellent point, Amran. :)

Expand full comment

I’ll allow it.

[also: Arizona isn’t a city ;)]

Expand full comment

The moss fellow is inspirational. Cool man. Another terrific read. Thanks so much.

Expand full comment
author

I agree Beth, I get so inspired by anyone who creates their own path. Glad you enjoyed. Thank you!

Expand full comment

Eric Adams is a strong contender for "Most Unintentionally Hilarious Politician."

He has used this line on several occasions: “All my haters become my waiters when I sit down at the table of success.”

Other than a rudimentary rhyme scheme and a heavy-handed metaphor, what does this even mean? Very excited for more of these gems as he tries to secure the 2028 Democratic nomination after four more years of consistent faceplants.

Expand full comment
author

Yes it's even funnier that he has used this phrase more than once. This fact has me imagining that it is a line that he repeats to himself when things get tough. The idea of which is strangely endearing!

Expand full comment

I hope he sat at a table at the Manhattan Sbarro's before it closed and he thought to himself that was a table of success.

Expand full comment
author

LOL oh what a fine vision that is!

Expand full comment

"More dolphins, fewer rats" is my new mantra.

Expand full comment
author

Good one! Yes! In general, we could all benefit from more dolphins and less rats.

Expand full comment
Aug 15, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

MORE DOLPHINS MORE RATS.

We can do this, people, and we MUST!

Expand full comment
author

You're right Aharon. Even better.

Expand full comment

dont forget : "Save Hugh Manatee!!" (rick derringer)

Expand full comment
Aug 14, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

Have a wonderful vacation! And the stories today were superb! You are such a good writer. I felt like I was right there seeing all that moss! And I may buy some moss artwork one of these days!

Expand full comment
author

So glad you enjoyed Cindy! Thanks for the high praise. I'm in the market for some moss now myself. It's just very satisfying to look at.

Expand full comment

When I remember that NYC had Rudy Giuliani as a mayor, I think you've come a long way; love the Eric Adams Watch! About the Moss Guy: at first, I was reminded of artificial flowers, but when I read that he creates each piece sort of like a painting, I loved it. BUT -- Anne -- stores dedicated to chopsticks? Pencils? SALT??? I hope we'll find out! 💖

Expand full comment
author

Jessica, I could do a story on each of those stores, right? But they've all been around for a while and written up by others.

I DID write about the artisinal mayonnaise store, though. Gosh, it was so long ago!

https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424127887323478304578334301406674308

I didn't think about it but yes, quite a contrast between Giuliani and Adams. Though I don't think we will ever have a NYC mayor who doesn't have a giant ego. And I don't mean that in a bad way I think it's a requirement.

Expand full comment

Thanks for the link, Anne -- that is so impressive! TEN years ago! A glimpse into the beginnings of Café Anne; wonderful. And I agree about the giant ego without which one probably wouldn't even think of becoming mayor of NYC. But there are better and worse giant egos... Hmmm; when I look at this sentence I'm not sure it's correct.

Expand full comment

Oh, and I forgot AGAIN: meant to wish you and your doggie a restful, regenerating, and nevertheless exciting vacation!

Expand full comment
author

Thank you Jessica!

And you have inspired an idea: maybe and worse giant egos CHART!!!

Expand full comment

Oh wow, that'll be absolutely fabulous and hilarious -- can't wait!

Expand full comment

Let's get to it (1) Enjoy your vacation (2) Love the moss man's A/C drain (3) moss as art is pretty cool (4) Eric Adams is the gift that keeps on giving (5) Enjoy your vacation

Expand full comment
author

Mark!

1) Thank you!

2) You always notice the strangest details in the photos!

3) AGREE

4) Yes I always worry he'll tone it down but he NEVER DOES

5) Thank you!

Expand full comment

(1) ur welcome (2) the career job warped my mind (3) think how much more time you would have at your disposal if we could inject you with some sugar and you wouldn't need to eat for years (4) when Ventura retired as Governor, he moved to Mexico, surfed and advocated for hemp -- what will Adam's do without the limelight??? (5) ibid

Expand full comment

“That’s enough $$$ for five Uber rides from Rockaway Beach to the nearest hospital!”

PMP over that one!!!!! Anne you are just hilarious. I “square to gob” you are the funniest writer out there…do you think your “humor superpowers” are from getting irradiated yearly at the Nine Mile Station nuclear power plant? Like you’re sort of a combination of an Avenger and the Joker?

BTW, feel free to use, “square to gob” to punk counter-staff when you order your “skwon!”

Expand full comment
author

Hmmm. I've only been staying near the nuclear power plant for five years...do you think that's enough time to have an effect?

Expand full comment

Well, are you funnier than you were five years ago??

Expand full comment
author

This likely depends what you mean by "funnier."

Expand full comment

Well that made ME laugh, so you answered my question!!

Expand full comment

I long ago lost it or wore it out but back in the day t-shirts were made at the plants during refueling outages. It was a picture of a glowing atom on the front and on the back it said "the atom is your friend"

Expand full comment

“His post includes a “STATE OF THE CITY” graphic featuring a banned rat and a dolphin wearing an “I love NY” t-shirt. ‘More dolphins, fewer rats—and I'm proud to see we're making progress.’”

OK, this is the opening I needed: Hiz Onner needs to address the problem of mapping-out which streets to avoid in NYC that exude the most distinct "summer street-pee smell?"

NYC is notorious for not allowing pee-ers into their establishments to pee!

This could be an initiative for Hiz Onner, the Mayor, to make NYC more accommodating to denizens and tourists alike...it could spark a boom in commerce!! He could create a new cabinet position: Czar in charge of mapping streets notorious for that “summer street-pee smell.”

Hiz Onner could even invite the two Russian prostitutes from the notorious Trump "pee-tapes" as celebrities announcing the initiative: Ivana Pissallova and her sister, Imgonna Pissallova, along with their agent, Boris Bladderoff!

Expand full comment

Adult diapers are almost as large of a market as baby diapers. This is why most Facebook profile pictures are headshots only. SF is also infamous, alas, for public #2s -- even if this invites a reply, I am retiring this thread.

Expand full comment

I love moss though I’ve never heard of preserved moss, must check out the Moss

Boss. Sounds like a moss wall hanging depicting a t-shirt wearing dolphin is in your future.

Also, I’m immediately going to start using the line, “my haters become my waiters when I sit down at the table of success.”

Have a great trip!

Expand full comment
author

Rob, you will pleased to know (if you weren't already aware) that this is not the first time the mayor has employed the haters/waiters declaration:

https://hellgatenyc.com/dear-eric-adams-its-time-to-go-beyond-haters-and-waiters

And you're right, we definitely need to see that new city seal rendered in moss.

Thanks for your kind vacation wishes!!!

Expand full comment
Aug 14, 2023·edited Aug 14, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

That makes sense. When you come up with a line like that, you don't let it go. Hell Gate looks like a good site, thanks for passing it on!

Expand full comment
author

Oh I love HELL GATE! It's a great news site started by a bunch of NYC reporters who gave up on the other local outfits. It's for-profit and hey split all the revenue among themselves, so it's also a bit of a co-op. Very good mix of investigative and fun NYC news. I've been a subscriber for a while.

Expand full comment

I don’t even know where to start 🤣🤣🤣 but I do know I need an I ❤️ 🐬 NY tee and some moss, asap! Have a great vacation, Anne!

Expand full comment
author

Jolene, now you've got me thinking I really need to create that tee-shirt. I'm sure the mayor wouldn't mind.

And thanks for your kind wishes. I am really looking forward to this vacation and hoping it will unfry my brain!

Expand full comment

Yes! I need merch! 😂 Cheers to enjoying well deserved down time! 😊

Expand full comment

I looove moss!! I foraged for some during a hike and made a couple attempts at live moss terrariums during the pandemic which was fun but didn’t last. The only live moss plant I have right now is actually embedded in a large rock. Along with my zz plant, it’s outlasted everything. Might not make it all the way to that store, but I admire the art the owner is making.

Anne, I went to the rubber stamp store! As luck would have it, I also love rubber stamps and use them for thank you cards or gift messages. They do custom orders too! Haven’t thought of any ideas yet but you’ll be the first one I tag when I have it.

Expand full comment
author

Chevanne, do you know Jason Chatfield? He's a fellow substacker and also a cartoonist for the New Yorker. He recently suggested we collaborate on a feature about the rubber stamp store. And I was very excited about this until I did a google search and discovered it has already been covered a zillion times. But I still want to go, cuz I've never been, and get a rubber stamp made of the CAFÉ ANNE logo. Or even better, a red ink rubber stamp that simply says, "NO".

Congrats on your moss victory btw! You are a MOSS WINNER.

Expand full comment

Ooo... haven’t heard of him but I’ll pop by his Substack. Sure, it’s been covered a zillion times, but it hasn’t been covered by YOU. That’s the difference. 😊

Go, get that logo made and tell us all about it.

Expand full comment

As soon as Mr. Jasari admitted that he killed every house plant he ever encountered, I was SOLD. MossBoss is on my bucket list!! Thank you a thousand times for a Cafe Anne that is primus inter pares! Have an excellent time on your interesting vacation, and here's a link to the radiation detection emergency medical management site in case you are exposed while you're there: https://remm.hhs.gov/civilian.htm

Expand full comment
author

Aaaaah Therry, I had to look up "primus inter pares" which made me very happy. What a good phrase to have handy! Can't wait to use it.

I am a fellow plant killer, btw, except for this one asparagus plant who's been putting up with me for more than a decade. So maybe try one of those?

Thank you so much for the link to the radiation detection and survey devices page. I printed it out and ate it, so now I am feeling protected.

Expand full comment

Oh Anne, my job here is DONE!

Expand full comment
Aug 14, 2023·edited Aug 14, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

"Preserved moss doesn't need sunlight or water—just an occasional dusting."

You think right here may be the secret to the Mayor's super-powers?

Expand full comment

Appleton... as in Appleton Estate?

Expand full comment

no estates that i know of but if you cud drum one up im all in!!!🤣😉

Expand full comment

Wait. The moss art he’s dusting costs a hundred and twenty bucks??

Expand full comment
author

NYC baby!!!

Expand full comment

I love moss! So glad to hear someone is being creative with it.

Expand full comment
author

Haha Team Moss is coming out of the woodwork! :)

Expand full comment

Honestly, I've never really thought about moss. But I've killed a lot of plants, so maybe moss is something I should be thinking about. As for Eric Adams, I just adore that quote about haters becoming waiters at the table of success. Is he good Mayor? I don't know. Is he a treasure? Yes, he is! Have fun on your vacation, Anne!

Expand full comment
author

Mr. Estrin, as a fellow plant killer, I am for sure now among the moss-interested myself. Esp. as I now know where to buy it wholesale.

I also love the quote. I've noted this elsewhere in the comments, but it seems its actually one of his regular pet phrases:

https://hellgatenyc.com/dear-eric-adams-its-time-to-go-beyond-haters-and-waiters

Thanks for your kind wishes!

Expand full comment