162 Comments

The night before, I created an elaborate chart with 484 color-coded cells to designate what activity combinations were allowed and what was forbidden:"

Proving conclusively that Anne Kadet is the current and future Tsarina of Spreadsheets!

Expand full comment
author

Yay I have many titles as you know but I'm most proud of this one!!

Expand full comment

"The correct answer: 557. That’s 8.6 comments per issue!"

In a country that doesn't discriminate between fame and infamy, I've always felt the latter presents itself as plainly more achievable.

At age 70, just when I thought that I had accumulated as much infamy as a person could, I find that the combination of digital technology and an impish blonde from NYC, could tap into a motherload of infamy that I never knew existed in me. Was the lowest circle in Hades, infamy? Sigh...

Expand full comment
author

Only 7.6 comments to go for this issue JRB!

Expand full comment
Oct 9, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

I recently read the Lonesome Dove book series and they mention a character named Judge Roy Bean. I was like, "I know that name from somewhere!" And boom, it's right here in the Cafe Anne comment section. Gotta love it.

Expand full comment

Not many people know, but The Lonesome Dove book series was the inspiration for Anne having a newsletter on Substack. Anne vowed to the heavens, the day she compiled her 1st spreadsheet, that she would know she finally made it when the character of Judge Roy Bean, somehow, made his way onto her comment section. https://youtu.be/ixx66T-FPYM?si=BD47h6eFXLfpZdqy

Expand full comment
Oct 9, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

I think commuting without listening to music or a podcast would be downright TERRIBLE. I hate hate hate when i have to listen to someone's phone call or someone hacking up a lung. That one would get me. Sipping my morning coffee while catching up on the news is my bread and butter. Couldn't imagine not doing it!

Expand full comment
author

I'm with you Justin, lung hacking not the greatest sound around.

I think maybe it's easier for me to enjoy unfiltered subway because I no longer commute. I'm only on the train a few times a week. I don't think I could deal with 90-minutes every day plus without at least something to read.

Expand full comment
Oct 9, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

pls write about "rat heaven" for the next 5-7 issues.

Expand full comment
author

Rat heaven is a place on Earth, as you know Aharon. And I agree this is a great idea.

Expand full comment
Oct 9, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

"Earth"?

Expand full comment

I thought of another ‘real New Yorker’ question: “Are you on a first name basis with the Naked Cowboy?” +100 points. Love the illustration of you, Anne!

Expand full comment
author

That's a great one Jolene! Can I brag that "Robert" texts me several times a month with updates on his doings, including what he's reading?

I think that boosts my score to like one zillion!

Expand full comment

Yes, that is the New-Yorkiest! I love that he keeps in touch :)

Expand full comment

ANNE. I am so excited. I came in dead last in your Real New Yorker contest. ✊🏽 😁 It is only up from here. ☝🏽

PS- I love your meditation exercise of just doing 1 thing. Listening, smelling, watching, just be for a little while. Are we calm enough to notice the grasshopper 🦗at our feet. 🙏🏽

Expand full comment
author

Nick, you really SHOULD be proud. I know that ultra low score was not easy to come by.

And glad you enjoyed the experiment! It's true I really am noticing more. Sounds like you've had similar experiences.

Expand full comment

Your week made my day. I have so many food intolerances that to limit anything else in my life is unacceptable. I am gearing up for a cold shower. I’ve been hearing about all the health benefits and am intrigued. I need to gear up before taking the “plunge.”

Expand full comment
author

It's fun to try these new things, CK. Let us know how it goes with your plunge!

Expand full comment

Geezus!!! A "cold shower" is an abomination! The United Nations should adopt an initiative to give all the people's of the world warm showers.

Expand full comment

One thing I've found intriguing living most of my life in Minnesota is people embrace ALL OF THE SEASONS. Twin Cities are #1 or #2 for bicycling and enormous resources to support them including winter biking! Polar plunges are very popular as are the outdoor saunas. This is my FAVORITE TREND of the frozen North. It is not unique to Minnesota but works best when the ice freezes VERY THICK. You will love these carousels!!! Winter fat-tire biking is a thing here! https://youtu.be/7Ah310vRgSA?si=YXCYSpefV7UChxyA

Expand full comment

I bought a fat tire bike years ago!! No thanks on the polar plunge! The sauna is ok.

Expand full comment

Anne & CK in one place. The Cafe is a great spot! Is there a polar plunge in your future CK?

Expand full comment

I’ll start with a frigid shower. Those polar plunges are wild. Fun to watch.

Expand full comment

OH, doing a "polar plunge" is an insensitive insult to every Russian who was ever shipped off to a gulag in Siberia; "polar plunges" there last for years and decades, not a brief few minutes and run to a blanket and a sauna!!

Expand full comment

See my comment on the subject.

Expand full comment

I love this! Especially this: "The salt shaker on the counter, the white lilies in their glass vase, the animal painting over my desk are all happily expressing themselves for my enjoyment." I won't soon forget that line/image/concept/TRUTH.

Expand full comment
author

Sounds like you've enjoyed a similar experience, BA...

Expand full comment

Well, yes... but I hadn't thought of it in quite that way! ...that it was for MY ENJOYMENT. And it was also just a good reminder. I have a lifetime subscription to Sam Harris's Waking Up app, but I haven't meditated since our super-stressful life-shit started happening over a year ago. Stupid, I know... just when I could use it the most, I find it so hard to do. I'm also not doing my stretches 😥

Expand full comment
author

I hear this a lot BA, and I do it myself—dropping my most supportive routines just when I need them most. Isn't the human mind AMAZING?

Expand full comment

A - MA - ZING!

Expand full comment

From Thursday’s entry: ‘my life consists mainly of hanging out with friends and family, writing this silly blog and volunteering at a meditation center.’ Am I really the only one to pick up on this? It is the word ‘silly’. Without it there would be nothing to think or say, but once you drop in the word ‘silly’ I imagine a slightly hesitant you, feeling surrounded by the enormity of it all; the raised expectations you have created, of yourself and among your readers - which is why I am so full of admiration for what you are doing. Go at your pace. It’s your blog and the likes of I come along for the ride - not to be backseat drivers giving directions. Regards aka Kevin 🐰

Expand full comment
author

Thanks for your feedback, aka Kevin. And I suppose you're right. Referring to the newsletter as "silly" is my way trying to shape or maintaining expectations. I get a lot of suggestions from readers that I really SHOULD address or investigate x important issue, or point out what is wrong in a particular situation, when in fact I really want CAFÉ ANNE to just be for fun. Or even more important, what *I* consider fun. So it's nice to know folks like you are on board. :)

Expand full comment
Oct 10, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

I love your experiment in doing only one thing at a time. I’ve been working on this too and realize that it helps me fully experience the present moment. I like how it simplifies my sometimes too complicated life. Be here now!

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Debbie! It is very interesting how something as simple as "be here now" can require a lot of effort and planning these days. Our whole culture is sort of engineered to serve as giant distraction machine so it seems to require some active resistance to live differently. It helps, though to hear from others who are attempting the same!

Expand full comment

I too am a Be Here Now person. I love my life. 🤗🤗😘

Expand full comment

A week of single-minded focus is really impressive! I'm guessing your time at the meditation center laid a pretty good foundation. Good to hear you are still reaping the benefits!

I had a co-worker who used to play a game every time I took a subway ride with her. It entailed trying to figure out who would take charge of the car in the event of some kind of disaster. She concocted these complicated hierarchies and power struggles among the disparate riders in the train. It made the ride between 96th and Clark fly by.

Expand full comment
author

Wow that is a great subway game!

It's funny, I often think about how *I* would function in said scenario.

In my fantasy, all kinds of loudmouth douchebags try to assume the leadership role, and one by one they are rejected. And finally everyone in the car turns to me and says, "Oh lady in black you look so wise and peaceful and centered, what do YOU think we should do?"

AND THEN I TAKE OVER.

Expand full comment

Haha! I always assume I’m the first one they’re going to eat.

Expand full comment

Now THAT is a POWER ANNIVERSARY message for all of us

Expand full comment

I clean my teeth before going to bed and spit out the gunge, then use a mouthwash to sweeten me up for the night and clean the wash-hand basin on autopilot as I go. I do a good few things on autopilot, and I’m someone who does what you did for a week all the time. What do you do on autopilot? 🐰

Expand full comment
author

aka Kevin it's funny I was thinking that if my dad read my multitasking story (which he probably did) it might strike him as insane to make such a big deal about adopting a lifestyle that he (like you) just assumes as a matter of course.

To answer your question, I think my whole morning routine—journal, meditation, exercise, walk the dog, breakfast, respond to emails and texts before I start work—is pretty much all on autopilot. And thank goodness. I'd hate to be thinking all of this through and trying to make decisions about what to do next every morning!

Expand full comment
Oct 9, 2023·edited Oct 9, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

RE MULTI-TASKING :: You know my opinion on the multi-tasking. I rationalize the important thing is differentiating between the nonsense our primitive lizard brain can do and the thoughtful stuff in the front. I think multi-tasking is fine as long as we aren't trying to do two front-brain things at the same time. FWIW it is not possible according to our knowledge of the mind. All we can possibly do is pause task 1, start task 2 and then do the opposite when we start freaking out and get dissatisfied with the quality. Hope this opinion doesn't spoil the fun. This is the secret sauce of social media as it engages our primitive self and we reduce complexity and consideration to thumbs up or thumbs down. This is what made the Emperor so popular in the Colosseum. Kudos to you for creating a colorful cross-tab. Wow!

Expand full comment
author

Well you KNOW that our email correspondence helped shaped my experiment, Mr. Dolan. It does seem correct to me that as you pointed out, some forms of multitasking work just fine, that its largely a matter of not trying to attempt two front-brain things at once. But it felt best to go cold turkey, just to break the habit so I could make actual CHOICES going forward about when I multitask rather than compulsively cramming as many activities into each moment that I could.

Expand full comment

In control room environments of all sorts, in order to get people to be high performing, alarms are audible, lights are bright etc. It tweaks our senses and allows people to snap to it!!! I think you have done so many things to simplify your habits and I bet that keeps your brain clear to do cool stuff. I have a Substack friend who sent a post he was working on. A lot of what I took away from his wonderful post was he ended up having a very positive human experience in a busy place. That happens when we consciously avoid the interruptions I think. As for cold turkey...We don't have turkey that often but I see no reason to eat cold since it tastes so much better warmed up.

Expand full comment

Most of my creative thoughts come to me when I'm in the sweet-spot between fully being awake and fully being asleep. As for wanting to eat and be creative, even in my twilight of creativity I'm hungry, reason being I worked 3rd shift for over a decade and I'm used to eating from 11:00 pm to 8:00 am. In fact, I had a 50 minute commute home and there was a McDonalds drive-thru about 30 minutes out where I stopped every morning and ate at least 4 Sausage McMuffins or Sausage Burritos c hot picante sauce, when they would be 2 for $2.00. I was such a regular that I invited the woman who would take my order, to spend Christmas Day with my family, since she was going to spend it alone Those days of 2 for $2 are gone...BTW I keep a notepad on my nightstand and in the master-bath because the creative thoughts vanish....

Expand full comment

"The correct answer: 557. That’s 8.6 comments per issue! The closest guess—540 comments—came from Mark D. in Minnesota, who happens to be our second most frequent commenter, with 389 total comments. Takes one know one, haha!" -- Seeing that I was 2nd to JRB made me laugh. The response of a rube would be to hire a personal trainer to up my comment count. I defer as I am glad to be a poor 2nd to JRB -- I can now feel okay that I am not commenting too much!!! I have a constant churn of Substacks and I often unsubscribe unless (1) they bring joy (2) they are not incessant self-promoters (3) I am constantly surprised by the topic. When a Substack manages all three I try hard to comment and support. Cafe Anne makes that very easy.

Expand full comment
author

Awww that means a lot, Mr. Dolan. As does your support!

Expand full comment

The only challenge I see is doing all three consistently might require multi-tasking :)

Expand full comment

I'm so glad you shared your experiment results with us! I want the tornado in my brain to stop. But do I actually have the discipline not to multi-task? I don't think I could go cold-turkey like you did, but I think I could probably make some small changes. Like no multi-tasking while eating meals. I have a hunch that would make a big difference!

Expand full comment
author

Yes I was reflecting on what I'd advise others. The fact that I KNEW I'd be writing about this experiment made it relatively easy. When it got hard, that was not a problem, because it was better for the story! Otherwise I don't think I could have gone cold turkey on so many aspects. I agree that tarting with one change, like no multi-tasking while eating one meal a day, strikes is likely the best way to go. And yeah, during my warm-up period the first three weeks of September, I found a little goes a long way. Just walking without my phone, for instance, made a big difference in how my day felt!

Expand full comment

This edition of Cafe Anne was so chock full of interesting things that I had to comment on. I apologize to everyone! Try as I might I can't stop commenting. I'm purposely not finishing this comment so that it can count for the 0.6

Expand full comment
author

Admiring your restraint, JRB!

Expand full comment
Oct 9, 2023·edited Oct 9, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

Omg! You don't know how tired I was when I wrote those comments! From working third shift for over a decade my sleep is forever altered so I never wake before noon really between noon and 1:00 p.m. today I had to be up before 8:30 because workers were going to put screens up on our gutters to keep the leaves out. So when they left I read the newsletter and I was like a fighter in the ring who just got knock down and was trying to survive. You see that's one thing a true New Yorker doesn't have to worry about because the super will take care of that if you even have gutters.

Expand full comment
author

LOL a true hero!

Expand full comment