You asked a guy for recommendations of what to wear. Would you be prepared to repeat the experiment but ask a female assistant this time? I've been married for nearly forty years and I still wouldn't ask my beloved what I should wear... but you look great in the black anyway x
Deborah, good point! Full disclosure—I didn't have room to include the full account, but the pants the first clerk picked out were way too bi when I tried them on. So it was the lady dressing room attendant who picked out the khakis I actually bought—after I asked her to help me find pants that fit that were similar to what the first clerk chose for me.
It'd be interesting, though, to see what a lady clerk would recommend if she could start from scratch.
Wow, I'm honored I got top commenter status! Do I win a free pound of Gulianibeans or something?Actually, I can't help but conjure up a very vivid visual when I hear Giuliani and drip together, so maybe not.
I think the most interesting takeaway from this week's experiment is that you lasted longer eating dog food than you did changing outfits...
That is so funny, Rob—I noticed the same thing. Seven days of dog food was easy compared to five days in the new outfit. I actually started to develop an aversion to the shirt and pants.
I had a similar reaction—of extreme aversion—about a decade ago when I did an experiment eating food out of the trash for a week. I only made it five days. I just couldn't keep going. That one makes more sense to me.
My shortest lived experiment was trying to go a week without doing any unnecessary reading. I only made it 36 hours.
For someone who chooses to wear a uniform, you really like to experiment on yourself!
I'll be waiting for your Big Swiss review, which incidentally I haven't read but received as a gift and after reading this I would be willing to bet it was a recommendation from someone at the bookstore.
I know bupkus about fashion and like you, I basically wear the same thing day in and day out.
That being said, you DO NOT LOOK LIKE A DITZ! You look a lovely spring day, a friendly flower that says, "Hey, stop and smell me because I'll make your day a little better!"
As for that coffee, let's just add that to list of indictments that asshat is facing...
Interesting experiment! Similar but different- In my university days 20 of us from our class once went to a thrift store. We each put our name and clothing sizes on a piece of paper and into a hat. We all drew names and then picked out and bought outfits for the name we drew. Then once all the outfits had been selected, tried on and paid for we went out for dinner together in our new clothes. The outfits ranged from “full prom” to “80s rocker” and “pimp/artist.” Our cheeks ached from laughter. Highly recommend.
You look fab in the Goodwill outfit but I understand the itch to strip. It’s hard to wear clothing you don’t connect with or doesn’t represent who you are.
In my 20s I wore lots of mini skirts but when I temped at a law office I had to wear long skirts. It was a costume that I resented. Now I wear long skirts and would never step foot into a mini skirt. Hehe.
I'm enjoying your newsletter so much. I'm shocked by the different experiences in the bookstores! So interesting. I guess it is an unconscious bias the clerks had. I love the idea of doing these mini experiments throughout the week.
It's interesting Delaney! Unconscious, yes. But probably also a desire to be genuinely helpful given the information available. My favorite clerk was the one I got the first day at the big chain store. She asked SO MANY QUESTIONS. She really wanted to get all the info she could from me in order to make a proper recommendation. I'll be back for more reccos from her for sure.
We will both know I'm enlightened when I can very happily wear whatever I need to wear to best suit the occasion.
This is so funny to me, but I have long thought that I could never be ordained in my tradition because the colors—gold and burgundy—are just terrible for my complexion! I'd much rather go Zen and wear a beautiful navy blue robe. I'd look fabulous!
I'd love the freedom to blame someone else for my fashion choices! "I know, I know, it's weird for me, too, but it's not my fault. The Goodwill Guy picked it out for me." The freedom to wear whatever you like with a plausible excuse! Ah!
That was hilarious. I remember about 30 years ago a woman went shopping in high end fashion stores in a shell suit (that was what they were called in the UK, anyway, it's like a leisure tracksuit) and wrote about how the salespeople treated her (badly). I especially loved the book choices. You really suit the blue sweater.
Wow Geraldine I'm getting a lot of compliments on that blue sweater. Maybe Shelly will let me keep it!
The article sounds very funny. I wonder what is the equivalent these days of going shopping in a track suit? Things have gotten so casual these days it's hard to imagine what one could wear to provoke that kind of reaction.
I think the shops were carefully selected, high end labels etc. I think maybe a onesie would be the equivalent today, but the staff would be more careful to hide their contempt
I found the bookstore experiment to be highly revealing. I guess you could conclude that, while you dress subtly to keep the focus on you and not your clothes, the subtle clothes themselves become a core part of your identity. You're not "Anne" Anne unless you're sporting your proper digs, and the people around you act accordingly. That's somehow comforting and troubling at the same time.
Also, while this may be hard to believe, I actually have quite good fashion sense. I just don't "value" nice clothes in my day-to-day dealings and would rather allocate my money elsewhere. The downstream effects of this are that I either 1) dress like a hobo in clothes from Costco/Target, or 2) dress like a Wall Street douchebag in mid-to-high end suits. All extremes in my world.
Absolutely. As your piece on wearing suits from a few weeks back indicated, when I dress formally people assume I must be important. I get a lot more "Sirs" and people's expectations of me and my behavior definitely increase. They always end up disappointed, of course.
The differences in book recommendations is so interesting! It’s very tempting to think what you wear doesn’t matter outside of work since us NYers barely make eye contact if we’re not directly talking to someone. But I guess subconscious biases abound.
I’m a screenwriter/playwright, which means lots of collaborators. I’ve been trying to figure out how to dress like my writing. What a puzzle!
So fun! I do note that if the Goodwill worker had picked a loud skirt to go with that shirt, it would have looked like you were from Brighton Beach. I remember when I worked and lived in the city (over 20 years ago), the Russian women from that area almost always shamelessly paired tacky with tacky.
If you are the world’s most judgmental Buddhist (which I love, btw), then I am standing right beside you as the world’s most judgmental atheist. Perhaps we can recruit other judgy religionists and become our own judgmental “coexist” bumper sticker! 🤣
I know what you mean about the Brighton Beach look and I am a FAN. It looks like so much fun, to be a human parade float. More glitter, more glory! RAH!!!!
You asked a guy for recommendations of what to wear. Would you be prepared to repeat the experiment but ask a female assistant this time? I've been married for nearly forty years and I still wouldn't ask my beloved what I should wear... but you look great in the black anyway x
Deborah, good point! Full disclosure—I didn't have room to include the full account, but the pants the first clerk picked out were way too bi when I tried them on. So it was the lady dressing room attendant who picked out the khakis I actually bought—after I asked her to help me find pants that fit that were similar to what the first clerk chose for me.
It'd be interesting, though, to see what a lady clerk would recommend if she could start from scratch.
Wow, I'm honored I got top commenter status! Do I win a free pound of Gulianibeans or something?Actually, I can't help but conjure up a very vivid visual when I hear Giuliani and drip together, so maybe not.
I think the most interesting takeaway from this week's experiment is that you lasted longer eating dog food than you did changing outfits...
That is so funny, Rob—I noticed the same thing. Seven days of dog food was easy compared to five days in the new outfit. I actually started to develop an aversion to the shirt and pants.
I had a similar reaction—of extreme aversion—about a decade ago when I did an experiment eating food out of the trash for a week. I only made it five days. I just couldn't keep going. That one makes more sense to me.
My shortest lived experiment was trying to go a week without doing any unnecessary reading. I only made it 36 hours.
For someone who chooses to wear a uniform, you really like to experiment on yourself!
I'll be waiting for your Big Swiss review, which incidentally I haven't read but received as a gift and after reading this I would be willing to bet it was a recommendation from someone at the bookstore.
I will definitely review after I read, Rob. Only 300 more pages of "Texas" and I'm on it!
I know bupkus about fashion and like you, I basically wear the same thing day in and day out.
That being said, you DO NOT LOOK LIKE A DITZ! You look a lovely spring day, a friendly flower that says, "Hey, stop and smell me because I'll make your day a little better!"
As for that coffee, let's just add that to list of indictments that asshat is facing...
Add to the list of indictments. LOL Michael!
Thank you for being so sweet with your compliments re: the colorful outfit. It is for SURE a lot friendlier looking than the black uniform.
Interesting experiment! Similar but different- In my university days 20 of us from our class once went to a thrift store. We each put our name and clothing sizes on a piece of paper and into a hat. We all drew names and then picked out and bought outfits for the name we drew. Then once all the outfits had been selected, tried on and paid for we went out for dinner together in our new clothes. The outfits ranged from “full prom” to “80s rocker” and “pimp/artist.” Our cheeks ached from laughter. Highly recommend.
Wow this is such a cool idea Michelle! What a fun night that must have been!
It really was. I hadn’t thought about it in years until I read your story, but now I want to do it again!
Michelle, this is a genius idea!
You look fab in the Goodwill outfit but I understand the itch to strip. It’s hard to wear clothing you don’t connect with or doesn’t represent who you are.
In my 20s I wore lots of mini skirts but when I temped at a law office I had to wear long skirts. It was a costume that I resented. Now I wear long skirts and would never step foot into a mini skirt. Hehe.
I KNEW it would be hard, CK, but I was surprised by the degree. I literally could not MAKE myself wear the outfit one more day.
I've never really had to wear an outfit for work that I minded, like you did. Very fortunate!
I'm enjoying your newsletter so much. I'm shocked by the different experiences in the bookstores! So interesting. I guess it is an unconscious bias the clerks had. I love the idea of doing these mini experiments throughout the week.
It's interesting Delaney! Unconscious, yes. But probably also a desire to be genuinely helpful given the information available. My favorite clerk was the one I got the first day at the big chain store. She asked SO MANY QUESTIONS. She really wanted to get all the info she could from me in order to make a proper recommendation. I'll be back for more reccos from her for sure.
I am agog (‘agog’ not ‘a god’) by this week’s newsletter.
This one was the best one yet. It was better than all the others I thought were the best ones yet.
I am super excited because one way to understand karma is that actions, speech, and thoughts that loosen our self-identity create positive karma.
And when we hold on tight to our self-identity (our opinions) that creates negative karma.
After checking the record-keeping, I can only conclude that with all of the good karma created last week – you are now enlightened! Many congrats!!
But before you get too excited remember – “before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water; after enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.”
Wow, thanks for noticing mordy!
We will both know I'm enlightened when I can very happily wear whatever I need to wear to best suit the occasion.
This is so funny to me, but I have long thought that I could never be ordained in my tradition because the colors—gold and burgundy—are just terrible for my complexion! I'd much rather go Zen and wear a beautiful navy blue robe. I'd look fabulous!
I'd love the freedom to blame someone else for my fashion choices! "I know, I know, it's weird for me, too, but it's not my fault. The Goodwill Guy picked it out for me." The freedom to wear whatever you like with a plausible excuse! Ah!
Haha Justin, what else can we blame on the Goodwill Guy?
"Sorry, I know the Rudy coffee is as trash as he is. The Goodwill Guy picked the flavors...."
"Yup. Rain again. *shakes fist as Goodwill Guy* I don't know why he keeps picking this weather..."
*looking at spilled glass of milk* "GOODWILL GUYYYYYYY!!!!"
That was hilarious. I remember about 30 years ago a woman went shopping in high end fashion stores in a shell suit (that was what they were called in the UK, anyway, it's like a leisure tracksuit) and wrote about how the salespeople treated her (badly). I especially loved the book choices. You really suit the blue sweater.
Wow Geraldine I'm getting a lot of compliments on that blue sweater. Maybe Shelly will let me keep it!
The article sounds very funny. I wonder what is the equivalent these days of going shopping in a track suit? Things have gotten so casual these days it's hard to imagine what one could wear to provoke that kind of reaction.
I think the shops were carefully selected, high end labels etc. I think maybe a onesie would be the equivalent today, but the staff would be more careful to hide their contempt
And the black uniform!
This was fascinating and hilarious, thanks Anne!
Thank you Meredith! I'd love to do this experiment over and over every week, just to see what the clerks picked out—not to actually wear though!!!
You are brilliant and brave. Love this one! Glad you're back in black, like Johnny.
Phew! Me too Jane! Thank you for your kind words!
I found the bookstore experiment to be highly revealing. I guess you could conclude that, while you dress subtly to keep the focus on you and not your clothes, the subtle clothes themselves become a core part of your identity. You're not "Anne" Anne unless you're sporting your proper digs, and the people around you act accordingly. That's somehow comforting and troubling at the same time.
Also, while this may be hard to believe, I actually have quite good fashion sense. I just don't "value" nice clothes in my day-to-day dealings and would rather allocate my money elsewhere. The downstream effects of this are that I either 1) dress like a hobo in clothes from Costco/Target, or 2) dress like a Wall Street douchebag in mid-to-high end suits. All extremes in my world.
So interesting Amran! Do you notice people treat you much differently in your hobo gear vs your douchebag wear?
Absolutely. As your piece on wearing suits from a few weeks back indicated, when I dress formally people assume I must be important. I get a lot more "Sirs" and people's expectations of me and my behavior definitely increase. They always end up disappointed, of course.
LOL Amran you are the best!
The differences in book recommendations is so interesting! It’s very tempting to think what you wear doesn’t matter outside of work since us NYers barely make eye contact if we’re not directly talking to someone. But I guess subconscious biases abound.
I’m a screenwriter/playwright, which means lots of collaborators. I’ve been trying to figure out how to dress like my writing. What a puzzle!
Armelle, I see a lucrative consulting business here! "I will show you how to dress like your writing!"
So fun! I do note that if the Goodwill worker had picked a loud skirt to go with that shirt, it would have looked like you were from Brighton Beach. I remember when I worked and lived in the city (over 20 years ago), the Russian women from that area almost always shamelessly paired tacky with tacky.
If you are the world’s most judgmental Buddhist (which I love, btw), then I am standing right beside you as the world’s most judgmental atheist. Perhaps we can recruit other judgy religionists and become our own judgmental “coexist” bumper sticker! 🤣
LOL Ecumenical Judgementalists Unite, Amy!
I know what you mean about the Brighton Beach look and I am a FAN. It looks like so much fun, to be a human parade float. More glitter, more glory! RAH!!!!
It gives FEARLESS, that’s for sure! 🔥
Oh my. This one's a gooder. A BANGER. Much joy has been had. Thanks Anne!
Thank you Betty Ann! I hope this means you've recovered from the multitaskers.
Multi-taskers...? Am I forgetting something? (probably). Are you referring to multi-SLANGers?
Only wearing jet black dusters and military boots to bookstores from now on. I can't take the risk of being recommended The Hunger Games
LOL! A friend said he was suprised that my all-black uniform didn't have the clerks suggesting "Atlas Shrugged."