I haven't carried cash since 1999, so I can't give money to people on the streets, which I often feel bad about. Many times here in Chicago, especially during the brutal ass winters, I've offered to buy people a meal or preemptively bought them food at a restaurant I'm patronizing.
Lately we've seen a big increase in migrants who were unwittingly shipped here from Florida and Texas. It's grim, and I once purchased a $25 Target gift card for a family with small children. We're financially stable, but giving families $25 even once a week isn't sustainable. Ultimately homelessness is a problem which needs to be addressed by public policy.
It's true—lots of people don't carry cash these days, Amran. I heard this a lot taking my survey. Though a few folks also said they always make sure to carry bills just so they can give them away.
You also got me thinking about the issue of panhandlers and homelessness. Most homeless people don't panhandle. And not every panhandler is homeless! It'd be interesting to see a venn diagram of the overlap.
I came here to say the same thing! It might be an effective money-making strategy for a pan flautist busker to offer to stop playing the flutes for a length of time equal to the dollar amount of the donation. Your $5 buys you 5 minutes of waiting for the R train completely unmolested by "El Condor Pasa."
How do you feel about a busker on a set of bagpipes under the arch in Central Park, east side at 67 (by the dog statue, I forget the name) Worth $5?? If you pass him one day, that would be me... next to the sign saying, "I will teach you how to fold a fitted sheet for $7.00!" You'll only have a ten or two fives and I won't be able to break it, so the cost is really $10 but you'll feel like you only paid $7... I've researched panhandling and it's on the list of retirement options 😀😀😀 ... I mean, how many street ... er... artists... err.... performers... are gonna show you how to fold a fitted sheet? I'll bet I would be the only one... Worth every penny of the $7.00+$3tip.... I'll also take a baconeggncheeseonaroll
I heard that a lot David! Especially among 20-somethings. Several said they use Apple Pay for everything. I guess beggars will need to accept Apple Pay.
Here in Nottingham there are panhandlers who do have gizmos to swipe your card. You can buy them in shops for £20 ($26). Probably cheaper if you know where. Some of them seem to have ‘minders’, hovering close by, which makes me wonder who actually gets the money they collect?
I have just worked out that my wife and I donate via direct debits and standing orders $170 a month to charities, of which $85 goes to two local charities, one working with rough sleepers and providing supported housing (I did the latter for the last 21 years of my working life [1985-2006]). The other running an independent inner-city community centre which Nottingham City Council sold local groups for $13 in 2005 after a successful campaign by locals. One of my proudest moments ever. It’s a struggle to manage still, so we help with a monthly donation. I am not a fan of musicians with amplifiers pumping out so much noise I have to take my (excellent) NHS hearing aids out. 🐰
For the last few years instead of a dollar, I buy bags of thick black mens socks for cheap and offer a fresh pair of socks to all panhandlers regardless of gender. Socks get dirty and wet out there and can cause foot issues! There is a line I read for what to say to someone panhandling when they say thank you for giving cash or buying food. It is to look the person straight in the eyes and say “You’re welcome. I know you’d do the same for me.” I love it because it gives back dignity and people’s faces light up.
Awww Sarah, I LOVE the idea of saying, "I know you'd do the same..." I am definitely going to adopt that. Thank you!
And I've heard a number of times for folks who run shelters that SOCKS are always in high demand. And it's certainly more of a pain to carry around socks than dollar bills, so kudos to you!
I drove into the Bronx last week and at the end of the highway off ramp was a woman panhandling with a professionally printed sign that said she was a single mother and there were pics of her alleged children. That threw me for a few seconds. But I opened up my center console and grabbed maybe $1 in quarters.
I guess when it comes down to it, as bad as I’ve ever had it (and right now I’m scraping by on disability benefits, after decades as a non-profit exec), I feel like these people have to swallow a lot of pride to do this and their plight is undoubtedly worse than mine. Plus, in the grand scheme of things, is giving up this dollar or two going to adversely affect my life? No. But it might help them eat today.
Are they buying cigarettes, drugs, or alcohol with my/our money? Like you Anne, I don’t care. Most of us probably smoke weed or drink alcohol, so why wouldn’t they? To want to control how they spend the few bucks you’re giving them is paternalistic, IMO.
Ah, PATERNALISTIC! That is the word I've been looking for, Amy!
Yes, that lady may on the off-ramp may well be a professional hustler. But if someone is bad off enough that they're trying to earn a living begging on a highway ramp...it's what you said. Their plight is worse than ours, and what's the harm.
I think too about giving to charitable organizations. But a lot of that money is not going directly into the hands of the people they serve. Is it paying to keep the organization going, so that they can help people? Sure, mostly. But just like there are panhandlers buying drugs or booze with your money, there are charities misspending what you give them or misrepresenting what they spend the money on. And even a donor who does their due diligence can be hoodwinked by creative accounting. The public only sees so much of non-profits’ financial statements.
Always puzzled when Portland, OR, gets referenced as a town beset with social ills (and “town” it certainly is, not a big city). Anyway . . .
I loved Miranda’s quote in the final paragraph and feel sorry for any clients of Yankees fan, Brooklyn Heights resident and public defender, Steven. I’m allergic to cynicism.
I carry one-dollar bills in my car and hand them out with little slips of paper with addresses and other contact-info details for those seeking services (WIC, food stamps, housing/mental health/employment/addiction support/treatment). Hopefully, the dollar helps them get through the day and the slip of paper gives them the inspiration to advocate for themselves.
I live on Social Security so I don't have a lot to give. When I do, it's to women. I do have a kid who comes to my house every week for returnable cans and bottles. We have a standing appointment. I can't just leave them out for him, because so many people come by looking for cans.
This is probably the only post I would bother to read about people asking for a donation. Not something I think about much I guess. Back when I traveled a lot for work I got to see a lot more of this around the country. I still remember vividly getting off the subway at Union Station in DC and crossing the street to a work assignment. I always carried some fruit with me from the hotel and one morning gave an apple to a person who seemed to have a regular location. He did not appreciate it -- he threw the apple at me and I luckily caught it. I ended up eating it myself. I generally am a softie for the panhandlers. The next morning when I passed him on the corner of Massachusetts Avenue, I made eye contact and offered him a choice of what I had. He appreciated being able to choose I guess and he did not take the apple as an option. I sure enjoy how you seem to have compartmentalized your life partly by eliminating decisions on what to wear, how much to give, etc.I am sure that we will get more examples in the future as you never seem to run out of ideas to share with all of us.
flip phone days at best -- no photos :) When the kids were young I ALWAYS left rolls of US Golden dollar coins in the cars for emergencies. SO INCONVENIENT they simply never used them haha — as a person who loves to people watch, gold dollars are a superpower of passive aggressive behavior
My philosophy is identical to yours. I give to everyone almost without discrimination.
I don't try to guess what they will do with it - that is their karma/decision not mine.
My attitude is - if you see someone suffering, and you can help, then do so.
My wife differs and has the extreme opposite attitude.
Don't give to panhandlers - donate to organizations that will help them.
I agree with her (of course), but I can't ignore and won't train myself to ignore someone who is suffering.
Side note: I managed a jewelry store in NYC for many years, and one of our best customers was a panhandler who bought a lot of jewelry! She kept here purchases in our store for safekeeping. So you never know. But that doesn't change my attitude.
mordy, we are so in tune on this one. I agree that it probably IS technically better to donate to organizations that can help the folks who need it. On the other hand, there is some benefit I think, to the connection one can make with someone on the street. The moment itself. And on the other, other hand, that may be getting in the way of them getting the help they really need. Which is why I sort of stopped bothering to untangle it all and just do what FELT right.
I would occasionally give some dollars in my neighbor in the Bronx. The same pan handlers targeted me for bucks so I stopped giving cash and only offered to buy food. Some would take me up on it but a few would turn me down saying what does it matter just give the dollars and we will buy our own food. I stopped altogether and my charity began when I volunteered in the local nursing home where I supported one resident for a few years with everything from clothing,cigarettes and pretty much everything he needed. I had him transferred to Calvary Hospital when the cough and back ache the nursing diagnosed as sitting too long in his wheelchair turned out to be actually stage 4 lung cancer. I helped him have a dignified death.
Wow, Rita. It sounds like you really made a huge difference that person's life. And what you did certainly takes a lot more time, love and care than handing out dollars on the street. Thanks for sharing your story.
Well here's your Staten Island demo checking in (I'm a Queens girl, but I live in SI now). I am on mass transit every day to Manhattan. I've seen all the cons, the frequent flyers etc. It can harden you to it all. I'll give my change to the guy holding the door at Dunkin Donuts. Some morning I drop some change into the guy's cup holding open the Port Authority door.
The other day, a guy walked up to me with the well mannered, "Excuse me ma'am, I don't mean to..." I cut him off, by handling him $2 -- I just didn't have time to hear the rest. I'm sure it was spent on booze, but it was Friday... everyone deserves happy hour.
Maybe it's my NYC BS detector but most of the panhandlers don't get a second glance from me. However, there are times when I see someone and I can FEEL their plight. A few years ago there was a young guy sitting outside a high-end coffee shop in lower manhattan- he didn't say anything. He didn't even look at me. I think he may have had a sign. He might have been a veteran. I didn't say anything to him. I just went inside, bought him breakfast, put the bag and coffee next to him, and gave him $20. When I told my husband about him, I actually got emotional. There was something about him. The next day he wasn't there. All these years later, he still crosses my mind.
Anne, I don’t know if it’s a good memory. This thought almost haunts me. Not knowing what happened is almost as bad as knowing. He was so young. I kept hoping he went somewhere safe and permanent. I take the fact that I never saw him again as a good sign. At least that’s what I tell myself.
I give away the change in my pocket without question. On days where I'm out enjoying the city, I give $1 to buskers until I run out of dollar bills.
Over the pandemic I regularly bought food for homeless people. I don't do that now as often largely because of inconvenience. There's an artist who panhandles at the subway entrance I get off where I buy him a breakfast sandwich every now and then, when it aligns that he's there and I'm getting one myself.
Lastly, I relate a lot to Jim from Park Slope. Whenever I start worrying about money or my future, I give money away to remind myself that others are worst off than me and it'll all come back anyway.
One more story. A guy posted on Nextdoor that he was waiting for a paycheck and had no more food. I know the Food banks (and most charities) have you fill out a bunch of paperwork before you get any benefits and he seemed to be hungry now. I happened to be going to Trader Joe’s and asked him what he wanted. He turned down my offer because TJ’s didn’t carry Jimmy Deans sausage! I guess beggars can be choosers?
Many years ago hubby volunteered for an amazing org in LA called Chrysalis. They’ve since opened four locations around LA. It’s for the homeless but it’s not a shelter. Don’t know about present changes but back then they gave the homeless bus fare to their location, work clothes and training in how to interview and offered all sorts of classes. Hubby taught a computer class. One of the biggest problems was once they had a job they didn’t like being told what to do. They had been living on the streets, independent of rules. Chrysalis tried to teach them about having a boss or employer. I had a pile of their cards in my car so whenever I saw a panhandler I would give them the Chrysalis card and explain what they do. Sometimes I got genuine interest and a Thank you, and other times I got a F-k you. But it certainly weeded out who truly wanted to get back on their feet. I wish this org was national. I do know that Goodwill offers classes.
PS— my last name is spelled, Steefel. Good thing I use initials instead of my first name, Carissa. 😉
I haven't carried cash since 1999, so I can't give money to people on the streets, which I often feel bad about. Many times here in Chicago, especially during the brutal ass winters, I've offered to buy people a meal or preemptively bought them food at a restaurant I'm patronizing.
Lately we've seen a big increase in migrants who were unwittingly shipped here from Florida and Texas. It's grim, and I once purchased a $25 Target gift card for a family with small children. We're financially stable, but giving families $25 even once a week isn't sustainable. Ultimately homelessness is a problem which needs to be addressed by public policy.
It's true—lots of people don't carry cash these days, Amran. I heard this a lot taking my survey. Though a few folks also said they always make sure to carry bills just so they can give them away.
You also got me thinking about the issue of panhandlers and homelessness. Most homeless people don't panhandle. And not every panhandler is homeless! It'd be interesting to see a venn diagram of the overlap.
I've met a few over the years who happily admit they have a place to live and panhandle for spending money, Miranda!
So true. We are in a near cashless society.
Pan flute rejection made me LOL.
So funny Lucy! I don't know why but the sound—and the vibes—just makes my skin crawl!
I came here to say the same thing! It might be an effective money-making strategy for a pan flautist busker to offer to stop playing the flutes for a length of time equal to the dollar amount of the donation. Your $5 buys you 5 minutes of waiting for the R train completely unmolested by "El Condor Pasa."
Brilliant idea Rob!
Could also work for a banjo player.
And the recorder
Anne -- your words make the world a better place. Thanks for always doing your work.
Oh wow, your words just made my day. Thank you Nicole!
I’m so glad.
How do you feel about a busker on a set of bagpipes under the arch in Central Park, east side at 67 (by the dog statue, I forget the name) Worth $5?? If you pass him one day, that would be me... next to the sign saying, "I will teach you how to fold a fitted sheet for $7.00!" You'll only have a ten or two fives and I won't be able to break it, so the cost is really $10 but you'll feel like you only paid $7... I've researched panhandling and it's on the list of retirement options 😀😀😀 ... I mean, how many street ... er... artists... err.... performers... are gonna show you how to fold a fitted sheet? I'll bet I would be the only one... Worth every penny of the $7.00+$3tip.... I'll also take a baconeggncheeseonaroll
Gerard I LOVE this idea of offering en plein air sheet folding instruction!
I once spent an afternoon singing on the subway for change with my little brother accompanying me on guitars. Believe me its HARD WORK!
One logistical issue is I never carry cash.
I heard that a lot David! Especially among 20-somethings. Several said they use Apple Pay for everything. I guess beggars will need to accept Apple Pay.
Here in Nottingham there are panhandlers who do have gizmos to swipe your card. You can buy them in shops for £20 ($26). Probably cheaper if you know where. Some of them seem to have ‘minders’, hovering close by, which makes me wonder who actually gets the money they collect?
I have just worked out that my wife and I donate via direct debits and standing orders $170 a month to charities, of which $85 goes to two local charities, one working with rough sleepers and providing supported housing (I did the latter for the last 21 years of my working life [1985-2006]). The other running an independent inner-city community centre which Nottingham City Council sold local groups for $13 in 2005 after a successful campaign by locals. One of my proudest moments ever. It’s a struggle to manage still, so we help with a monthly donation. I am not a fan of musicians with amplifiers pumping out so much noise I have to take my (excellent) NHS hearing aids out. 🐰
So interesting to hear about the panhandlers accepting credit cards. I wonder why that hasn't hit NYC yet? Or maybe I've missed it.
This is so common now. My kids never have cash. I like to give cash tips— coffee house, restaurant…
For the last few years instead of a dollar, I buy bags of thick black mens socks for cheap and offer a fresh pair of socks to all panhandlers regardless of gender. Socks get dirty and wet out there and can cause foot issues! There is a line I read for what to say to someone panhandling when they say thank you for giving cash or buying food. It is to look the person straight in the eyes and say “You’re welcome. I know you’d do the same for me.” I love it because it gives back dignity and people’s faces light up.
Awww Sarah, I LOVE the idea of saying, "I know you'd do the same..." I am definitely going to adopt that. Thank you!
And I've heard a number of times for folks who run shelters that SOCKS are always in high demand. And it's certainly more of a pain to carry around socks than dollar bills, so kudos to you!
I’m glad you’ll find the line useful too, Anne! ♥️
I drove into the Bronx last week and at the end of the highway off ramp was a woman panhandling with a professionally printed sign that said she was a single mother and there were pics of her alleged children. That threw me for a few seconds. But I opened up my center console and grabbed maybe $1 in quarters.
I guess when it comes down to it, as bad as I’ve ever had it (and right now I’m scraping by on disability benefits, after decades as a non-profit exec), I feel like these people have to swallow a lot of pride to do this and their plight is undoubtedly worse than mine. Plus, in the grand scheme of things, is giving up this dollar or two going to adversely affect my life? No. But it might help them eat today.
Are they buying cigarettes, drugs, or alcohol with my/our money? Like you Anne, I don’t care. Most of us probably smoke weed or drink alcohol, so why wouldn’t they? To want to control how they spend the few bucks you’re giving them is paternalistic, IMO.
Ah, PATERNALISTIC! That is the word I've been looking for, Amy!
Yes, that lady may on the off-ramp may well be a professional hustler. But if someone is bad off enough that they're trying to earn a living begging on a highway ramp...it's what you said. Their plight is worse than ours, and what's the harm.
I think too about giving to charitable organizations. But a lot of that money is not going directly into the hands of the people they serve. Is it paying to keep the organization going, so that they can help people? Sure, mostly. But just like there are panhandlers buying drugs or booze with your money, there are charities misspending what you give them or misrepresenting what they spend the money on. And even a donor who does their due diligence can be hoodwinked by creative accounting. The public only sees so much of non-profits’ financial statements.
Amy, that is such a good point. At least when you give a dollar to a drunk panhandler, you know EXACTLY how that money will be spent!
🤪😁
Always puzzled when Portland, OR, gets referenced as a town beset with social ills (and “town” it certainly is, not a big city). Anyway . . .
I loved Miranda’s quote in the final paragraph and feel sorry for any clients of Yankees fan, Brooklyn Heights resident and public defender, Steven. I’m allergic to cynicism.
I carry one-dollar bills in my car and hand them out with little slips of paper with addresses and other contact-info details for those seeking services (WIC, food stamps, housing/mental health/employment/addiction support/treatment). Hopefully, the dollar helps them get through the day and the slip of paper gives them the inspiration to advocate for themselves.
Holy cow, EB, I just Googled and Portland has just 635,00 residents! Weird.
And your approach actually does sound ideal. Why didn't everyone else think of that?
I live on Social Security so I don't have a lot to give. When I do, it's to women. I do have a kid who comes to my house every week for returnable cans and bottles. We have a standing appointment. I can't just leave them out for him, because so many people come by looking for cans.
So interesting Sandra! I'd love to hear about how that arrangement came to be.
This is probably the only post I would bother to read about people asking for a donation. Not something I think about much I guess. Back when I traveled a lot for work I got to see a lot more of this around the country. I still remember vividly getting off the subway at Union Station in DC and crossing the street to a work assignment. I always carried some fruit with me from the hotel and one morning gave an apple to a person who seemed to have a regular location. He did not appreciate it -- he threw the apple at me and I luckily caught it. I ended up eating it myself. I generally am a softie for the panhandlers. The next morning when I passed him on the corner of Massachusetts Avenue, I made eye contact and offered him a choice of what I had. He appreciated being able to choose I guess and he did not take the apple as an option. I sure enjoy how you seem to have compartmentalized your life partly by eliminating decisions on what to wear, how much to give, etc.I am sure that we will get more examples in the future as you never seem to run out of ideas to share with all of us.
LOL
Mark I LOVE that he threw the apple back at you and you ate it. Wish there was a video.
I never give food (or loose coins) to panhandlers myself because yes they will sometimes take it as an insult. Whatever!
flip phone days at best -- no photos :) When the kids were young I ALWAYS left rolls of US Golden dollar coins in the cars for emergencies. SO INCONVENIENT they simply never used them haha — as a person who loves to people watch, gold dollars are a superpower of passive aggressive behavior
GREAT topic and newsletter - thank you!
My philosophy is identical to yours. I give to everyone almost without discrimination.
I don't try to guess what they will do with it - that is their karma/decision not mine.
My attitude is - if you see someone suffering, and you can help, then do so.
My wife differs and has the extreme opposite attitude.
Don't give to panhandlers - donate to organizations that will help them.
I agree with her (of course), but I can't ignore and won't train myself to ignore someone who is suffering.
Side note: I managed a jewelry store in NYC for many years, and one of our best customers was a panhandler who bought a lot of jewelry! She kept here purchases in our store for safekeeping. So you never know. But that doesn't change my attitude.
Thank you again for the great newsletter.
Happy Monday.
mordy, we are so in tune on this one. I agree that it probably IS technically better to donate to organizations that can help the folks who need it. On the other hand, there is some benefit I think, to the connection one can make with someone on the street. The moment itself. And on the other, other hand, that may be getting in the way of them getting the help they really need. Which is why I sort of stopped bothering to untangle it all and just do what FELT right.
I would occasionally give some dollars in my neighbor in the Bronx. The same pan handlers targeted me for bucks so I stopped giving cash and only offered to buy food. Some would take me up on it but a few would turn me down saying what does it matter just give the dollars and we will buy our own food. I stopped altogether and my charity began when I volunteered in the local nursing home where I supported one resident for a few years with everything from clothing,cigarettes and pretty much everything he needed. I had him transferred to Calvary Hospital when the cough and back ache the nursing diagnosed as sitting too long in his wheelchair turned out to be actually stage 4 lung cancer. I helped him have a dignified death.
Wow, Rita. It sounds like you really made a huge difference that person's life. And what you did certainly takes a lot more time, love and care than handing out dollars on the street. Thanks for sharing your story.
Well here's your Staten Island demo checking in (I'm a Queens girl, but I live in SI now). I am on mass transit every day to Manhattan. I've seen all the cons, the frequent flyers etc. It can harden you to it all. I'll give my change to the guy holding the door at Dunkin Donuts. Some morning I drop some change into the guy's cup holding open the Port Authority door.
The other day, a guy walked up to me with the well mannered, "Excuse me ma'am, I don't mean to..." I cut him off, by handling him $2 -- I just didn't have time to hear the rest. I'm sure it was spent on booze, but it was Friday... everyone deserves happy hour.
Maybe it's my NYC BS detector but most of the panhandlers don't get a second glance from me. However, there are times when I see someone and I can FEEL their plight. A few years ago there was a young guy sitting outside a high-end coffee shop in lower manhattan- he didn't say anything. He didn't even look at me. I think he may have had a sign. He might have been a veteran. I didn't say anything to him. I just went inside, bought him breakfast, put the bag and coffee next to him, and gave him $20. When I told my husband about him, I actually got emotional. There was something about him. The next day he wasn't there. All these years later, he still crosses my mind.
Everyone deserves happy hour! LOL. True.
That is a sweet story about the coffee shop guy, Renee. It sounds like it's a good memory for you.
Anne, I don’t know if it’s a good memory. This thought almost haunts me. Not knowing what happened is almost as bad as knowing. He was so young. I kept hoping he went somewhere safe and permanent. I take the fact that I never saw him again as a good sign. At least that’s what I tell myself.
I give away the change in my pocket without question. On days where I'm out enjoying the city, I give $1 to buskers until I run out of dollar bills.
Over the pandemic I regularly bought food for homeless people. I don't do that now as often largely because of inconvenience. There's an artist who panhandles at the subway entrance I get off where I buy him a breakfast sandwich every now and then, when it aligns that he's there and I'm getting one myself.
Lastly, I relate a lot to Jim from Park Slope. Whenever I start worrying about money or my future, I give money away to remind myself that others are worst off than me and it'll all come back anyway.
Very cool giving habits, Dane!
One more story. A guy posted on Nextdoor that he was waiting for a paycheck and had no more food. I know the Food banks (and most charities) have you fill out a bunch of paperwork before you get any benefits and he seemed to be hungry now. I happened to be going to Trader Joe’s and asked him what he wanted. He turned down my offer because TJ’s didn’t carry Jimmy Deans sausage! I guess beggars can be choosers?
OMG SO FUNNY!!!
Another great post. Love your interviews.
Many years ago hubby volunteered for an amazing org in LA called Chrysalis. They’ve since opened four locations around LA. It’s for the homeless but it’s not a shelter. Don’t know about present changes but back then they gave the homeless bus fare to their location, work clothes and training in how to interview and offered all sorts of classes. Hubby taught a computer class. One of the biggest problems was once they had a job they didn’t like being told what to do. They had been living on the streets, independent of rules. Chrysalis tried to teach them about having a boss or employer. I had a pile of their cards in my car so whenever I saw a panhandler I would give them the Chrysalis card and explain what they do. Sometimes I got genuine interest and a Thank you, and other times I got a F-k you. But it certainly weeded out who truly wanted to get back on their feet. I wish this org was national. I do know that Goodwill offers classes.
PS— my last name is spelled, Steefel. Good thing I use initials instead of my first name, Carissa. 😉
First, sorry about misspelling your surname, Carissa. I will fix on the web version!
Chrysalis sounds like a GREAT organization and you're right—good way to sort out who wants to get back on their feet.
The goal of helping someone whose been super independent learn how to deal with a boss sounds like a fascinating challenge!