124 Comments

I strongly urge you to read the iconic 1996 essay by Umberto Eco on the Mac and DOS operating systems, which rings true to this day:

http://www.simongrant.org/web/eco.html

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Wow this is such a delight, Jerry! Thank you for posting.

EVERYONE—check this out! It's not that long and it's funny and fascinating!

Jerry I do feel it's a bit unfair however, not what it says about the operating systems, but what it sort of implies about users. Part of what I like about the paternalistic approach of Apple is that I don't WANT to expend my creative energy and brain power on my material technology. The Apple prison system frees me to focus my energy in more important and fulfilling areas. Agree? No?

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OMG ANNE!!! I THOUGHT LAST WEEK’S NEWSLETTER WAS THE BEST. THIS WEEK’S MADE ME GAFFAW*!! And now Jerry takes us back in time for the truth!

*I know that’s not how you spell, guffaw, but I do it in homage to an old friend from 7th grade who everyone called “Ga.” It seems his older brother chopped the tip of Ga’s finger off with a hatchet and Ga yelled, “GA!!!!” when it happened. The finger didn’t stick, but the nickname did!

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Ah, the good old days.

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JRB your old friend GA might be the shining example of the person not yet with a smartphone as by all accounts he is anti-"digital" :)

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I'm 69 and should want a return to "the good old days" of paper charts, tv tubes and carbeurators. This "digital-age" is like Heaven on Earth. And to think it's all zeroes and ones!! That's easy to remember!!

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What you just described is what this happy curmudgeon writes about at times. My son the agricultural economist loves the expression "I miss the good old days when crime was higher and real GDP was lower" -- we have been laughing about that for at least ten years.

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It is good that you have a choice, which I am sure frustrates Apple's Weltanschauung. I prefer freedom and, though perhaps it is an illusion, a sense that I can make my world what I want it to be. Life in a prison may make one feel like one does not have to make choices (what to wear, where the next meal comes from), but I prefer the messiness of freedom.

I know I am not in the majority (per your survey), but I think mine should be the spirit of a place like New York. The fact that it may not be any more makes me sad.

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Well, I wear the same thing every day, and eat the same thing every day, so there you go!

But I also agree that NYC is still a place where, more than most other places (at least in the US) you don't know what the F might happen next, and that is part of what makes it great.

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I believe this is the first Substack comments thread that included the word "Weltanschauung." Bravo.

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The Protestant vs Catholic psychological divide as a fantastic heuristic for understanding all sorts of things! Eg approaches to law interpretation, organizational structures, and my favorite, adherents of Zen(Protestant) vs Tibetan Buddhisms (catholic). Love Eco and love the little write up :)

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I've thought a lot about the Zen/Protestant Tibetan Buddhism/Catholic thing too! I am by natural inclination a Zen/Protestant sort of person. Getting into Tibetan Buddhism—which I certainly did not PLAN—really helped me appreciate Catholicism.

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It would be a good spiritual alignment chart. Catholic (Strict constructionism, relying on an intermediary), evangelical Protestant (strict constructionism, direct contact with the divine), Shamanic (loose interpretation, relying on intermediary), and Quaker /Mennonite/Unitarian etc Protestantism (loose interpretation, no intermediary)

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What an amazing insight Kyle! I wonder whether such projections equally apply for the Islamic schism of Sunni and Shiite? Perhaps traditional Hassidic Judaism also. So often we seem to go toward what settles our mind.

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Yah I think there are some loose similarities- not as close but Shiite has more of a reliance on a priestly succession and Sunni a more direct connection. And then the Sufi sects are more like the quakers in a Christian context though having a more distinct guru. So yah, you could definitely see some patterns that rhyme but aren’t isomorphic in any sense!

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So interesting. I end up thinking about the most unlikely things when reading a Substack. As a person who grew up in the Catholic tradition and happen to be familiar with the Byzantine rite also, I sometimes notice that the more doctrinaire a system is, the more likely to have robes and almost costumes for different roles in the rites. When people seem demonstrably distressed about women wearing the chador/hijab, I harken back to the attire of the nuns where you could only see their faces also. Not that different at least on the surface.

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Omg this is amazing! Apple is also definitely Catholic in its superior aesthetics.

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This was great Jerry. Perhaps "the great schism" was repurposed at the birth of operating systems, just like monotheistic religions.

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I’m too far down the apple rabbit hole I think, though I did build a PC recently which feels like a very android move.

An interesting question for me is: would u rather date an iPhone person or android person? And I’d say right now, android! Feels like the slacker misfit weirdo phone. Yea those ppl might be nuts but they might also be the coolest.

Also did u read about the kids using flip phones? https://www.nytimes.com/2022/12/15/style/teens-social-media.amp.html

I’m gonna get one I think

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Good question about the dating preference thing Alex! After I did my analysis, I rethought this a bit. If all I knew was that a guy was Android, my guess would be that he's either super Joe Regular OR the sort of guy I really like—a true independent thinker. While the iPhone guy is probably something in between, not one or the other. So its a tough choice!

And yes I did see that NYT article and did not read mainly because I was so pissed off that I was not the reporter who wrote it.

Let's all get flip phones!

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My husband has an android and I can confirm that he’s a total weirdo. I admire it tho and hope to follow in his path one day...not soon, but one day.

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Hilarious! And baby steps. You'll know when you're ready!

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I dream of going back to flip phones. Or, no phone at all. Those kids are legends!

Anne, it occurs to me that your Senator, Chuck, uses a flip phone. I say it’s time to go after an interview, land it, then show it to the mayor’s press people, and name your terms for an interview so we can get more info on his anti-rat crusade, and also the vegan stuff, I’m fascinated by that.

Alex, I know droid-iOS couples. Their secret: indifference to the culture wars foisted upon us by our tech overlords.

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then the prophecy is fortold: the droid - IOS couples shall unite america before the apocalypse

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Perhaps the phones will continue to grow until you carry them two at a time in a wheelbarrow. The largest can be called the Armageddon model. I have a close family member who worked in the car industry. Who could have guessed how absurdly large everyday vehicles would get! He shared the joke once that there was no risk making a larger truck...Americans would drive dump trucks if they had heated leather seats. There are strong rumors the next iPhone is going to offer ANOTHER size increase and will call it the Ultra, if its large enough men can start wearing fannie packs to hold them..."it's not a purse"

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NOT A PURSE!!!

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I loved your previous comment about crows and shiny things !!! While stereotypical I imagine the black phone will always be an option for the men worried about what others think.

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Or, maybe after the apocalypse, if the most recent episode of The Last of Us is any indication.

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I think the history of personal computers is another reason for people's iPhone/android preferences. The first Macintosh computer came out in 1984; it had a mouse and a graphical user interface which was originally developed by the XEROX corporation. All other personal computers had to use DOS -- Disk Operating System used by IBM machines, which meant that one had to use a Command Prompt and know some programming languages, mostly BASIC. Microsoft released its first Windows version in 1985, but it took 10 years until Windows 95 that Microsoft caught up with Apple's functionality. By that time, all the cool kids and computer nerds and cutting-edge innovators -- artists, writers, etc. -- had firmly sided with Apple. When the company became more proprietary but didn't really have many advantages compared to PCs, people were sold on the name and reputation without examining whether this was still deserved. And for some, the fact that the higher price signals "I can afford it" is impotant. This seems to confirm your conclusion about iPhone etc. users being more "average"... I know all this from a good friend who is a software developer and who taught me to design websites from scratch, with my own code, between 2005 - 2010. He sold the shirt off his back to buy a Mackintosh in 1984 and LOVED the company for many years -- until there was too much wrong with it. Sorry this is so long! 😉

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Yes! I did not want to get into it in my post, but there is for a sure an element of class/income that plays into this. While probably almost anyone in the U.S. can afford to buy a $400 iPhone if they have their heart set on it, it still serves as sort of screening mechanism, the way a college degree does for employers. An iPhone does mean that you are probably not, say, homeless. And an iPhone 13 means you either have some real discretionary income or you are an idiot, like yours truly.

I also had one of those DOS computers and wrote the code for my first own website. Using "HTML for Dummies"! Seriously! I wonder if that would be possible now? For someone like me to build her own website that looked comparable to everyone else's website? It's like when you used to be able to fix your car engine with a wrench.

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"HTML for Dummies" -- I remeber these books! I think nowadays people use Wordpress or Squarespace or similar software which use templates. Ah, the good old days... I never could fix my car, though 😍.

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You are the only Newsletter I read that wrote, mixed and released her own anniversary theme song, I am sure a website design would be easy pickings for you! As for fixing your car with a wrench, a number of years ago we had way too many cars in our suburban slog. I bought a very inexpensive code reader. Each time something was wrong with the car, it kinda told me what was wrong. All you had to know was where the plug was and it was an excuse to go to the library. I certainly wasn't fixing it myself necessarily but easy to go to the mechanic, tell them the code so you don't get sold a bill of goods! So glad we are far removed from "peak car"

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At one time, I had a Macbook and an iPhone. I liked them, but they both died and I don't have the money to replace them. PCs and Android work just fine. I refuse to waste money on Apple products.

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I think you have a lot of company Lawson. I'm personally convinced the Apple universe is better but what do I know, really? The last time I owned a PC was probably 1998.

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The Apple users I encounter tend to be... tedious about their tech. Unimpressed.

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Do you know why I bought my iPhone 14 pro max last month? It was the only model with a GOLD back. Just like a crow, I am attracted to things that are metallic and shiny. How's that for idiocy?

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Caw!

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CAW!

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"...hogging all the cheese dip and pissing in the punch." 🤣😂 I am easily amused and that is hysterical!!

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Thanks Nick! The easily amused reader is the BEST kind of reader.

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Who doesn't laugh at "pissing in the punch!!"

https://youtu.be/DWYleO3he4s

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That is my favorite sentence, too! https://youtu.be/DWYleO3he4s

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Brilliant, Anne! The thing that boggles my mind is how deeply we identify with our commodities. It makes sense to spend crazy $$ on a phone if it's also a statement of your identity. I'm totally an Apple person--like all the way-- and, actually, 99% of my friends are Apple people too. So now I'm thinking I need to diversify my friend group! It does feel like the distinction between Apple and Android people is really profound, at the same time that that's obviously a ridiculous statement. And it's funny to me that Apple originally marketed itself as the brand of "original thinkers"...but now all of us Apple people are just lemmings.

Let's forget phones and go back to snail mail --that would be truly original :)

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Email me your snail mail address Jillian!

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Also, thanks for the update on Frankie. The question is: were they Apple or Android users?

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I transitioned from a Motorola RZR to the first iPhone and never went back. A friend asked me to text a photo he’d taken and after about 10 minutes with no success, I realized I made the right choice. I notice all the free-thinking android users commenting, meanwhile, iPhone users have very easily pivoted to another app. They already know who’s cooler. 🤷🏾‍♀️

We’re all in the matrix, Apple users just have better outfits or whatever.

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The RZR was my last flip phone too, Chevanne. It was a good one!

And yeah, it really does boil down to better outfits, for sure. :)

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I still have mine! If I can get a charger, I’m going to fire that baby up!

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It's clear that Android users are the more spiritually evolved and awakened people, strong enough to refuse to drink the Kool-Aid, haha. Put that in your iphone and smoke it!

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I am not going to make a joke about there being an app for that.

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Miss Universe Winner: Anne’s spreadsheet!! OMG!! The categories are wonderfully, subjectively, objective: Originality; Sensibility; and my favorite, Overall Value as a Person. I’m going to rate all my relatives and all of my friends and acquaintances using Anne’s spreadsheet. Readers need to come up with a trademark for this way to separate the Android-chaff from the Apple-wheat: Microsoft Ax-all??

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It would also be fun to rate people based on what sort of categories they use to rate others.

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I was an Apple person well before it was cool, back in the day when Macs and PCs couldn't communicate. Then Apple became trendy, and expensive, and I bailed. I use a MacBook for work, but I'm perfectly happy using something else at home. Also, I like my Android phone.

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Interesting Diane! Don't you feel some friction having to switch between the two systems every day? Sometimes I start typing on my piano or trying to play my computer keyboard and your situation sounds much worse!

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Do iPhones dream of electric sheep?

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I had to Google to get the reference Emily. Good one!

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I'm bitterly disappointed, Anne. You had to search for a Philip K. Dick quote. I'm choking back tears but then I remembered the spreadsheet. Two friends of mine planned their wedding using a. Venn diagram. The globe continues to spin.

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I'm an iPhone user but I'm still on the 7 and will not be upgrading until it's dead as a doornail (and then will only opt for the next cheapest iPhone available). Does this make me Android-adjacent?

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The question of how early an iPhone you can go to become Android-adjacent is very funny Emily. I just traded in my iPhone 8 to get a $350 credit on my iPhone 13 and I have to say it wasn't really functioning as a phone anymore.

What really makes irks me though is that I had the COOLEST case for the iPhone 8. It was clear and filled with a clear gel which had hundreds of sequins of many colors floating around in it and this made the backside of the phone just as entertaining as the front side! And of course the iPhone 13 is a slightly different size so I can no longer use this wonderful case. Life is truly a palace of horrors.

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That case sounds amazing! Reminds me of sneakers I had as a kid that had little clear windows over swirls of colourful gel that you could press on to move it around. Kinda like lava lamps but for the feet/phone!

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"If the majority of Americans 'think different', society will collapse"

Thank God, someone finally said it

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Haha! But we may already be on the verge...

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There's always a Nietzsche quote, but I'll resist

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I was the first in Wally's and my marriage to get a cellphone and I got a Droid because Sergei Brin was an engineer and Steve Jobs was a designer. And I prefer the road less traveled.

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Haha love this Therry!

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When you walk into an Apple store, it's hard not to notice that a lot of the guys working there are schlubs.

BTW, Anne, did your doorman ever come back to work? I posted back then that he wouldn't and that he was going to go for the unemployment insurance.

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Hi Michael! Yes he came back after Thanksgiving and hasn't missed a day since. He wore a battery-powered string of Christmas lights around his neck all through the holidays, saving the set with the largest bulbs for Fridays.

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This is what I miss about not being in NYC. In Canada they just say hello, remind you to grab an umbrella, and give your dog a treat. Not enough pizzazz.

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Come back Cori!!

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Such a great post! I hitched my wagon to the Apple train years ago - my photographer husband has always used Apple tech for his work, and it just makes things more streamlined for us if our tech is from the same stable. And if he upgrades his phone... well, I inherit the old one. It's just for convenience....... although I'm firmly locked into Apple, so how convenient IS that really...?! 🤔

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Thanks Rebecca! It's a little like Brave New World, right? Where we are all so very comfortable so we sort of don't mind...

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Aaaah, but there's nothing like a bit of tech-based social engineering to keep us on our toes...! 👀

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Android for me. Last time I walked into an Apple store they asked if I had made an appointment to purchase something. Are you kidding me! They weren't even that busy.

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Wow that's really over the top! So funny!

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