180 Comments

Ok ok, for the love of god, how do I count my points if I was raised here but was not born here? I came here when I was 3. I lived through all this above and the 1977 NYC blackout. I remember when subway tokens were like 35 cents. I feel like I can't call myself a native, even though I feel like I am? 🤔

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Jenna, if you arrived age three and survived '77, you are for sure REAL. I think I might modiify and say +100 points for arriving before age of five, and also +50 for '77.

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Oct 2, 2023·edited Oct 2, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

holy hell, I am up like a gazillion points now 😂

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Oct 2, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

If you went elementary through high school here it counts. Dreamer status.

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Yep, I'd say attending NYC schools k-12 is fora sure a qualifier.

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Daycare and nursery, even. I feel validated for the first time! I'm gonna start calling myself a native!

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I will read what it means to be a New Yorker with interest, but I can’t get past what you say at the start of this issue, without repeating it. I am so proud to be one of the 280 and a little ashamed at how long it took me to send you £4 a month. You are worth every penny, but saying this I hope you don’t change your subscription policy of making it available free. It is a take on life I share and love you for: ❤️aka Kevin 🐰. Now to report what you said:

‘As of this morning, there are 8,800 subscribers in 122 countries. And I’m having more fun with this thing than I’ve ever had with anything ever.

Some thanks are in order.

First, huge shoutouts to the newsletter’s 280 paying subscribers. CAFÉ ANNE has no paywalls, so all you folks get is the satisfaction of paying for something everyone else gets for free. As you know, I’m a freelance writer and this publication takes about 20 hours a week to create—I could not afford to continue without your support. THANK YOU’.

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Thanks for subscribing Kevin! I will never regret the vow I made when I first launched—CAFÉ ANNE will ALWAYS be free! I know I can trust the readers to support it without any pressure.

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Nov 9, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

Anne that’s what makes you amazing! Inspiring! Just Grand!!!

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OK. I have now got past that bit and see I am mentioned in despatches and what company I keep! If ever I needed a reference I’ve got one now! Thank you Anne. I am feeling fair chuffed this wet and dull Nottingham afternoon here in middle England. 🐰

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Thank you all for your likes. 🐰

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anne this is amazing! NYC's entire population is about 8.8 million, so your 8.8k subscribers is basically like 10% of all of New York !!

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Alex you just made me laugh so hard I think all 8.8 milllion New Yorkers heard me!

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Usually I'm a stickler about math, but in this case, right on!

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likewise. I was like "no this is wrong", but a moment later:"no he's right!"

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Hey me too Georgia! 8,800 is a large number no matter that it's not 10% of 8.8 million.

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Yeah, but I so much prefer the first poster's math so I'll stick w it. ;-) Do you know that what is our billion is not the same as in other parts of the world? Same for trillion, etc.? Makes numbers seem kinda arbitrary.

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whaaat? pls explain!

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This was in response to:

Alex Dobrenko`

anne this is amazing! NYC's entire population is about 8.8 million, so your 8.8k subscribers is basically like 10% of all of New York !!

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Great point! BUT, numbers are the only truth in this world.

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Congratulations!!! Happy 2nd Anniversary Anne.

You're still my fave Substack of them all.

I have a new book coming out in Fall of 2024 called "You're Not A Real New Yorker Until..." as part of the yourenotareal.com series. I have a feeling fellow subscribers will enjoy it!

https://bit.ly/newyorkerbook

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Awww wow, thank you Jason!!!!

We'll have to do something together for this book launch for sure!

Just subscribed to get my preorder!

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Fantastic interviews. While hubby and I only lived in NY for 7 and 10 years the city never left us. If we’re in a bad neighborhood anywhere we say, “Put your New York on.” Our pace quickens, purse hugged and our dormant eyes in the back of our heads are awakened. There’s an old New Yorker cartoon that’s a picture of a NYer and a Californian walking by each other. The Californian says, Hello, but the thought bubble says, Fuck you. The NYer says, Fuck you, but his thought bubble says, Hello. This always epitomized the fab NYers.

I was going to guess Judge responded 140 times and hoped to win a free subscription but then I saw your subscriber price drop. I’m a sucker for a sale. Remember Loehmans?

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Carissa! Love that New Yorker cartoon!

And thank you for your entry into the JRB Comment Count Contest. Results in the next issue!

Thank you for subscribing! It means a lot!!

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Excited to get my NY fix every week. ❤️

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Oct 2, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

100% not a Real New Yorker here. Though I grew up upstate so my brain absolutely objected as I typed that, NY is not NYC! ahem. For those of us not familiar, what is the difference between a street cart and a food truck? How fancy does the cart need to be before it counts as a food truck?

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Excellent question KL! The essential difference is that with a food truck, the kitchen is inside the vehicle. A street cart is towed behind the vehicle. Also, street carts sleep overnight in weird dingy commissary garages in scary neighborhoods.

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Oct 2, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

I had no idea the distinction. Thanks to you, I keep learning.

Also -- 20 hours a week for a labor of love is a beautiful gift to us all. Thank you!

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MY PLEASURE!!!

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Oct 3, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

To me a street cart needs an umbrella, usually Sabrett. Anything else is a wannabe food truck.

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Oct 2, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

I scored 339–I have grandsons who are 4th generation Brooklynites.

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Woah MDK. I wonder if that will be the top score?

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Oct 6, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

I get 50 more points for raising kids here, and for my kids raising kids here—-389.

.

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Wowza! Alas you will see in the issue coming out now that I crowned Georgia L. the winner. I felt it made sense to stick with results from the original quiz—otherwise total chaos!!!

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Bronx General hospital is hard-carrying my Real New Yorker score.

I think Sam and Joselin are part of the EGL fashion community (basically a Japanese mock-Victorian fashion trend). The internet is an infinite vortex, and I feed it far more time than I should.

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Oh shoot you KNOW I'm going to waste like an hour Googling EGL, Mr. Dayle. Thanks?

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Don't worry, for once it's non-horrifying. A lot of colorful sub-sub-niches.

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Oct 2, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

I was going to guess Lolita fashion, but maybe that's the same thing? Is EGL the acronym for Elegant Gothic Lolita? Been around for a while.

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You really nailed it! I'm impressed!

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Yup, you're on the money.

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Such fun. As an Aussie, I’d tend to categorise ‘Noo Yorkers’ as Intense, Unique and Fascinatingly Different. All revved up with lots of places to go. It’s always a pleasure peering into Your World.

And I’m guessing the Judge’s comments over the two years as being up around the 2000 mark! Icing on the cake served up by Cafe Anne. Thanks so much for expanding my world.

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Thank you for your entry into the JRB comment count contest, Beth. Results in the next issue!

And thanks your kind words. Would love to hear your thoughts on what makes a real Aussie.

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An innocent comment but I’ve stewed over it all week long... What makes a typical Aussie? We like to think we’re laidback larrikins, but we’re as divided as America unfortunately. We’re in a very embarrassing place at the moment. We want to acknowledge the previous custodians of our land by including reference to them in our Constitution but the division that has become apparent is scary. Yeah, we’re laidback and laconic, as long as you agree with us. Sigh...

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I had to Google larrikins, Beth. Thanks for the new word!

Good luck working all this out!

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'Noo Yorkers'!!!!!! I love that!

Beth you are the kindest person!! I know I'm over-the-top with my comments and yet you are in my corner, with a sponge. Thank You!!

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First, congrats on two years, Anne! Here’s to a million more!

OK, on to this amazing piece! Bravo to you for putting in the work on this one! I don’t think The Post, or NY1, or even WNYC could come up something as funny, insightful, and comprehensive👏👏👏

I am not a real New Yorker. I lived in the city for 3 years, but that was for law school, and I wouldn’t even try to apply for a student membership to NYC.

But! I have helped lost tourists find their way on the subway, yelled at a car that almost hit me, and I’ve taken advantage of the express checkout option at the bodega. For me, not that any New Yorkers would really care, the most New York place is the intersection of 1st and 1st, aka the nexus of the universe.

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Aww thank you Mr. Estrin. This means a lot. In truth, this whole survey thing was a lot more work than I expected. The upside is that I literally have enough material for a part 2 so next week's issue is almost all set.

And I am with you on first and first. the shops on each corner are always changing but it always carries the same great vibe.

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Congratulations on 2 years!

I'm not sure what my score is, though I probably lose points on the whole being able to skip the line while leaving exact change on the bodega counter thing. Not something I can get away with in these parts. This even after my daughter baked cupcakes for all the bodega employees.

Sidenote, a few weeks ago stumbling around mid-town looking for something to eat after a screening of 2001 Space Odyssey, I suddenly came upon the name Judge Roy Bean in giant letters. I knew I had heard the name but just couldnt figure out why. It took me a few surreal moments to figure out that this wasn't some sort of glitch in the matrix, but rather a bar that shared the name with Cafe Anne super commentor, JRB. That of course led me to wikipedia and to maybe the greatest individual Wikipedia entry I have ever read.

Even the comments section at Cafe Anne is entertaining!

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Thank you Rob. And wow, now I need to hear more about your daughter baking cupcakes for the bodega guys!

The bar story is hilarious. I've got to check out that Wikipedia article...

Hmmm are you talking about the heliport entry?

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Well the cupcakes weren’t made specifically for the bodega guys, she just made a batch of 30 so we shared the excess. Unfortunately, we later learned that Victor, who we gave the cupcakes to, did not share with his coworkers but ate them all himself! He has since gotten married and moved to New Jersey , so definitely not a New Yorker

The Wikipedia entry I was referring to was for Judge Roy Bean. It’s amazing.

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Victor is the MAN.

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This is great! Had no idea it was a movie.

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Oct 9, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

Anne, are you kidding me? Paul Newman! (I think I just dated myself. Yup, I'm that old.)

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Well now I'll have to watch!

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Here we go with another memory: I was in college in 1972 and I remember going into Lima, Ohio the biggest city near our College and watching The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean at the theater. Did you know that was Victoria Principal's first acting job. I doubt she was more than 19 years old. And of course all of us dorm-rats were in love with her after we saw the movie.

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Wow, thanks for the sweet shout-out at the start of your post, Anne—my body literally jolted back in my chair when I saw my name, haha!

I've never understood why I wasn't born in New York. When I was a teen, I had a friend who was the sort of person who'd bring home people she met in the park. She once befriended a young man from New York who was traveling in the area. He had a head of curly hair and a thick (I believe) Brooklyn accent—kind of reminiscent of Horshack from Welcome Back Kotter. I was fascinated by him. I also read Fran Lebowitz's Metropolitan Life when I was 18 and was forever marked by it. Woody Allen was my favourite director... you get the picture.

But here I am. HAVING A TERRIBLE LIFE BECAUSE I'M NOT IN NEW YORK

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"I've never understood why I wasn't born in New York." I love this! I feel the same. I started wanting to move here when I was six years old and can't exactly say why. I just KNEW.

It's not too late! It'd be so fun to have you here!!

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Ah, you are sweet! I don't see me moving to New York—unless I win the lottery, in which case I'll definitely buy an apartment overlooking the park. But I WILL be back!

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Oct 2, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

My score, 387! Another fun issue. . Thanks! Friends from Philly visited me yesterday and we had fun talking about your MOST BONKERS story. Told them how much finally paying for my subscription enhances my enjoyment. :)

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Whoa Georgia I think that may make you top scoring participant so far. So proud to know you!

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"...Samantha in Astoria, who just hit the ten-year mark. "Bed bugs, cockroaches, a shady unreachable management company, a shady unreachable landlady who eventually ended up in rehab, getting stuck in a train underground, injuries, seeing someone(s) masturbating on the street, a couple who scream fights in front of my window..."

If that doesn't check all the boxes I don't know what does?!

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If you have less than three items in hand at the bodega checkout, you don’t wait in line, you just hold up what you got and pop the money on the counter."

I'm about ready to pass out from reading all these really great observations!! The best!

"I think they need to live through one mayor," said Joe in Flatbush."

THAT'S THE MEASURING STICK!!

"Cross the street! If they make it across the street, they’re a New Yorker!"

OMG SO PERFECT!

"Maybe they can be a Real New Yorker Emeritus," said Janet in Greenwich Village."

Omg!!!   Peed My Pants!!! PMP!

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Loved every bit of this! I lived in four boroughs in seven years (1997-2004). I walked from the Bronx to Queens on 9/11 (the TriBoro shakes like a MOFO) and I walked from Manhattan to Queens during the blackout of ‘03 (with much more sensible footwear, over the 59th St bridge - much less shaky). There was no better vibe in the city than when we all realized the blackout was not a terrorist attack. The streets were ALIVE and buzzing with every kind of person that existed. Bars gave away beer. We were all in it together.

Thank goodness my fiancé found me walking east on Queens Blvd (having bright red hair helped a lot), or else I would have had another three hours of walking!

My point is, I don’t call myself a New Yorker (even though it’s the only state I’ve ever really lived in). I have some poignant memories and I did know the subway like the back of my hand. But I much prefer using that knowledge now as a visitor than as a resident.

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Oh wow, the long walk home from work the evening of 9/11. I'd forgotten that Amy. And yes, during blackout of 03 too. Very different vibes for sure.

It's great you're happy with your choice and ID and still enjoy a visit!

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