86 Comments
May 8, 2023·edited May 8, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

I ate there once on a trip to NYC. My luggage was lost and I had a reservation that same night I arrived, but had traveled in sweatpants. I wasn't sure what to do.

When I called the restaurant to ask if I would be admitted, Mehran actually answered the phone himself. He said that it would definitely not be appropriate to eat there in sweatpants, but then started asking me about how tall I was, how much I weighed, etc.

It turned out that he and I were almost the same size, so he told me to show up 30 minutes early. When I got there, Mehran loaned me his own incredible Brioni tuxedo!

Needless to say that it was the most incredible meal of my life. The biodynamic steak (which we also slaughtered together -- he gave me an apron to cover and protect the tuxedo) was perfectly prepared and better than anything else I'd ever had, including the time I had real Wagyu in Tokyo. That evening the side dish was 17 different potato varieties, all baked and prepared "all the way." So I unfortunately haven't tried the asparagus yet, but have heard from friends it was also terrific.

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LH, of COURSE you actually ate there. So happy to get this fantastic report from you.

If I ever get in, I will be sure to order the potatoes baked "all the way." How wonderful.

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May 8, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

I've NEVER called anyone on this site a "f-cking liar!" AND I will not start now! However, LH Reader, you're story is great!

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May 8, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

“I called the restaurant number. It rang six times before sending me to voicemail and an outgoing message: "Hello, you have not reached Mehran, but if you leave a message, you probably will." Wow, Mehran is honest, if nothing else.

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May 8, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

Couldn't help thinking of this famous prank: https://www.vice.com/en/article/434gqw/i-made-my-shed-the-top-rated-restaurant-on-tripadvisor

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Wow that is such a great story! I love that it led to him to opening an actual restaurant—at least for an evening.

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May 8, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

“And I know steakhouses!” said one older gentleman taking an afternoon stroll. “I’ve worked at Peter Luger in Brooklyn for 30 years!” There you go! Young men they pretend; old men comprehend.

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May 8, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

LOL That was totally the first thing that popped into my mind. That was hilarious! Also, there's a "listing" near us for an attraction that I think falls into the same category of how some people entertain themselves: https://goo.gl/maps/xVCSuijv2fQfMk3k6

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So cute. I hope you made it to the salami festival.

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May 8, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

OMG...that is my dream of what Heaven is: a "salami festival"for eternity!! I hope it includes Italian dried sausage, too!!

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May 8, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

Wonderful!

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There's also Le Nouveau Duluth in Montreal. Unfortunately the cover was blown: Rauf, Shahroze, and Erika Morris. “Montreal’s No. 1 Restaurant on Tripadvisor Didn’t Really Exist.” CBC, February 1, 2023. https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/montreal-fake-restaurant-tripadvisor-1.6733629. You know, there's Fantasy Football. Why not Fantasy Feast?

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May 8, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

Wow!!! An entire genre of fake-outs!!

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May 8, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

How clever!!

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Oct 2, 2023·edited Oct 2, 2023

Right? Already been done. Nearly 6 year sold now. Guess it was time to recycle

https://www.vice.com/en/article/434gqw/i-made-my-shed-the-top-rated-restaurant-on-tripadvisor

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Shed_at_Dulwich

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I think you should leave a Google review describing something you “ate” there. There is a review that includes surf n turf and the owner responded to say it was a fake review because they don’t serve surf n turf! Potentially you could get a response with an outlandish review?!!

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Oh I love the idea of leaving my own review! Am for sure going to give this a try. Thank you Bekka!

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OR! It’s a paper town?!

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May 8, 2023·edited May 8, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

The steakhouse story is juicy! My immediate thoughts is that it could be drug related where a "steakhouse" is just code for something else. It could also be a swingers party. The possibilities are endless!

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I for sure considered drug house, Justin, but not swingers party! So funny. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

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May 8, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

"A third fellow with Jesus-style hair, leather pants and motorcycle boots came up from behind and shoved past into the house. Then the first man shut the door in my face." I had a girlfriend who left me for Jesus! https://youtu.be/T5D6dUhkoWc

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This seems to me like the most likely explanation. Along with the code phrase, "Are you here for the..."

Anne: you need to figure out what "steak" really is to crack this case. Though I fear you may regret your findings.

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Fascinating about the steakhouse. Part of me wonders if they just said No to see how serious and determined you were. What if you have to go back multiple times? Also sounds like a good novel plot-angle: Fictitious (or not!) 🥩 house in NYC which spurs local resident to get investigative on her own...discovers something totally unexpected, etc.

Am I wrong?

Also: What’s wrong with a baby sipping a latte? Why not?!

Michael Mohr

‘Sincere American Writing’

https://michaelmohr.substack.com/

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Michael, the idea of going back multiple times makes me laugh and also makes me wonder if I might get shot.

When I sip a latte, it's a lot like a baby sipping a latte, so yes, good point!

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Aharon has it: Spock is the parenting icon of a generation. If I had a kid with access to photon torpedoes, the galaxy would have burned down multiple times. Though that would probably happen if I had a normal kid too, so grain of salt.

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That is a funny idea, to imagine what the kid you never had might be like. Considering how unruly my dog can be, s/he would probably be worse than yours. Not to one-up you.

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May 8, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

“…18th-century elders in Freetown, MA who decided to name their baby boy Preserved Fish (now famously buried in New York’s Marble Cemetery).” Just a great sentence!!! “Preserved Fish!!” You know I was a hospital pharmacist for 44 years and it seemed that most people who ended up on psyche-units or in straitjackets had been saddled with names like “Preserved Fish,” or worse, which always begged the question, were these poor souls teased about their names their entire life to the point of schizophrenia??!! Which brings up another primary rule: Parents, don’t give your kid a goofy-ass name!! “Anne” is a very safe choice!

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Haha yes I am forever appreciative of my parents giving me a simple, sensible but not TOO common name. So funny you observed that crazy names drove people crazy!

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May 9, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

I really think it's true!! So many people with names that shout, "MAKE FUN OF ME" end up on psyche units! I wonder how the race car driver, Dick Trickle, didn't crash on purpose!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Trickle

You can't go wrong with the name, "Anne!" At worst she might be a bit eccentric! But fun eccentric!!

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A Boy Named Sue by Jonny Cash

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Perfect!

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Quality point, maybe I’ll spin a Father’s Day gag from it. Whether the writing flies or not, it’ll prove I shouldn’t raise anything.

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“I considered first principles: What more could I, non-parental and only tepidly uncle-ish, say about raising children (the future!)? As with everything I know nothing about, the answer is: A LOT.” That Aharon is a true iconoclast! That’s what attracts me to his comments…they arrive from an oblique angle in a seat right off third base.

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Hi Anne, the restaurant is actually only accessible during the second phase of the red moon in a leap year, every time that occurs on those years. Hope that clears things up

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Oh, it's ONE OF THOSE!!! Once again, I overlook the obvious. Thank you Mr. Ding!

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May 9, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

all this about ghost kitchens but never heard of a fake kitchen! very interesting. somehow reminds me of this karaoke bar that was in a strip mall in my suburban home town - as a kid whenever we passed it my mom would insist it MUST be a mafia front, because no one was ever in the parking lot. possibly it was just an unsuccessful karaoke bar, but either way it eventually closed. this did train me to believe that any very uncrowded restaurant could be a front - not very likely but does make a good story.

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I don't know if this is a NYC thing, but just about everyone I know loves to speculate that this or that business is a front. Not sure what makes it so fun, but it is!

The best example though was Rice to Riches on the Lower East Side, a place that only sold rice pudding. The pudding was really great, but everyone said it was a front. And turns out, it was!!

https://www.nytimes.com/2005/02/22/business/businessspecial/beyond-the-pudding-a-mystery.html

The best part —it's still running! I was in there the other day. The place was packed.

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I totally enjoyed Aharon's parenting advice. I can't help but remember Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal" when the question concerning what to do with babies comes up... 😅

And as always, I admire your intrepid investigating spirit, Anne. I bet this won't be the last time we read about Mehran and 224 East 83rd Street! It's even MORE mysterious now!

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LOL I know! I'm kind of left at this point with an "I just made it worse" feeling. But do have some LEADS...!

Glad you enjoyed Aharon's advice. I'm not sure why they allow him near his nieces.

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“But even here in Brooklyn—the most French of boroughs, where you cannot walk three blocks without being frustratingly slowed by Le Coq Sportif wearers mall-walking at a Continental pace…” Honest to gawd, Aharon you humble me with your writing and observations! OMG I shall never write a sentence so grand! All of your sentences are grand!

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Anne -- Thank you for asking Aharon nicely.

Aharon -- thank you for revealing yourself -- your writing is snappy and entertaining. Now I understand why we get your opinions frequently. Whether talking about fantasy baseball, microcap stocks or child rearing, it is best just to remember "1) It's easy 2) You're doing it wrong". I believe these aphorisms guarantee success whether an advice column, a self-help book or simply having an engaging conversation with a friend.

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Mark, I love the idea of applying those two pieces of advice to EVERYTHING. Glad you enjoyed Aharon's guest post!

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The credit belongs solely to Aharon. He has littered wisdom since the beginning. The mantra is his. My only Q for Aharon since he seems to share a love of ⚾, does it apply to hitting a curveball??

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Perhaps Aharon will fill us in. Though rumor now has it that he is merely a chatbot.

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May 8, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

“This is all basic. But the most important things to remember about raising kids are: 1) It’s easy. 2) You’re doing it wrong.” Well, I agree 100% with #2…however, just the fact that even one kid will cause a person to never have a good night’s sleep again until they are in the ether; means that it’s neither easy nor comfortable to be a parent.

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May 8, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

I'm on the edge of my seat (well, keyboard). So many mysteries. Maybe Aharon can solve them all!

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I wouldn't put it past them!

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I made this comment on parenting last issue:

Since my boys are out of the house, I've taken over their bathroom (my wife threw me out of ours, actually!" I was reminded of the MAIN role of parents by an amateurish sign I'd posted in their BR long ago: a reminder of sorts to them and me...parents are in the business of putting old heads on young shoulders...I stole the saying from the movie, "The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie.

" https://youtu.be/crJnW0UU2Ak

Here is the posted sign my son's bathroom...I posted it after I caught them smoking cigars at their Aunt's second wedding over 20 years ago: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SOa_5B2WEgc5MPjT_XuO1T1m5yLUgmi_/view?usp=sharing

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May 12, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

I just saw a headline for the BEST method of parenting: the kids grow up in a nurturing environment and the mom's have a REAL helpmate...NOT A MAN who just adds more work!

‘Mommunes’: Mothers Are Living Single Together

Women are joining forces under one roof, using the age-old power of sisterhood to split the household bills and raise their children.

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SOOOO smart!

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Wow, Anne. That is a real Scooby-Doo Mystery. Be careful, please.

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Awww thank you Nick! I promise not to do anything TOO stupid.:)

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May 9, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

So I tried to see if there was a DM function but I couldn't find it.. I have a restaurant mystery for the ages: Why hasn't the L abd B Spumonu Gardens in Dumvo opened? Construction was finished years ago! They even gave out free pizza and told everyone they were about to open mid pandemic!

but I feel like if THEY wanted us to know Eater would have done a feature or something. Please find the answers! Be careful!

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Nina, thanks for the idea! It's on my list. I have to confess—I've never even been to the original, which is CRAZY!!!

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May 8, 2023Liked by Anne Kadet

The steak story is killing me! You are such a great writer! Thank you for taking us along on your journeys and sleuthing. If I ever get to New York City, I hope to run into you on the sidewalk somewhere. Keep up the excellent work!

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Oh wow, thank you Cindy! So glad you've enjoyed this little adventure so far. :)

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The Mystery! Why do they have a 202 area code (Washington DC) ? Hmm 🤔...

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Yes I noticed that too Jolene! Of course, area codes seldom correspond to actual locations these days. But hmm is right!

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If it’s not on Yelp, it doesn’t exist! 😂 no one escapes Yelp…

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True! I’m in 312 with a 917! 😂

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