Hello everyone,
Welcome to Issue #167 of CAFÉ ANNE!
Zowie! A lot of you were gushing about the super-friendly subway conductor I profiled in last week’s issue. “I love Julie Martinez with all of my heart, never having met her,” wrote reader Justin D. in Illinois. “I work from home, so I have no business being on a morning rush hour train, but I still want to go see Julia in action,” wrote reader Samm in NYC.
Sorry Samm! As expected, the MTA has transferred Ms. Martinez—she’s now working as an afternoon train conductor on the 5 line. But she may return! “Because of the article and all the amazing comments, I might be able to come back to the platform very soon,” she told me yesterday in a text message.
I am very excited for this week’s issue, of course. We’ve got a lot of fun facts about CAFÉ ANNE readers thanks to an analysis of CAFÉ ANNE MATCH data. Plus, interviews with three otherwise normal Americans who drink way, way, way more coffee than you. Please enjoy.
Regards!
Anne
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CAFE ANNE MATCH: The Results Are In!
Last month, I launched a free service, CAFÉ ANNE MATCH, offering connections with fellow readers, based on an 70-question survey.
By now, everyone should have received their matches (check your spammy if you didn’t!). We were able to create 170 romantic match pairs and 162 platonic match pairs.
I opted for a platonic connection, and guess who my top match turned out to be? My little brother Philly, who lives in Queens! NYC data scientist Sophia Deng, who did the matching, instead sent me my second-ranked match—Maria in Greenwood Heights. We're meeting for coffee next week!
I also had fun analyzing the survey responses for what they revealed about CAFÉ ANNE readers. The stats are likely super skewed because it was an extremely self-selecting sample—less than 1% of subscribers participated. But here's some of the findings:
56% percent live in the NYC, and of those, 91% in Brooklyn and Manhattan. (Clearly, I need to up my Queens/Bronx/Staten Island game!) The remaining 44% were scattered around the country with strong showings in Long Island, California and New Jersey.
Ages ranged from 23 to 84. I was surprised to see the demographics skewed so young. Buncha whippersnappers!
Moving on to city stuff: by a wide margin, readers said the best small Manhattan park is Washington Square and their favorite weekend getaway is the Hudson Valley, with the Rockaways the runner-up (hardly anyone chose the Hamptons). For getting around town, readers prefer the subway (63%) or bicycle (27%) to an Uber (2%) or their own car (1%). They were divided 50/50 on whether they like tourists.
80% rated dogs as “very good” and cats as “no good.” 80% were the opposite. Only 10% are vegan, which came as a huge relief. And 55% prefer tuna melts to patty melts—I know, that was a tough question!
I was delighted to confirm that CAFÉ ANNE readers are big book readers, reading a median of 20 books in 2024 compared to the national average of five. A third reported reading at least 30 book last year, and 10% at least 50. Then there was fellow in his 70s who reported reading 500 books in 2024. Is that even possible? I've got to interview that guy.
A majority, meanwhile, chose Tolstoy over Dostoevsky in response to the prompt, “This author nailed it!” Good job! Tolstoy is the correct answer.
CAFÉ ANNE readers are also living large on the self-esteem front. More than half rated themselves a "7" or above in response to the prompt, "I am a genius." They also tend to view themselves as unusually honest, original, energetic, adventurous, popular and fun to hang out with.
And of course, they love caffeine:
The survey also included a free-form response prompt where participants could list their interests. I asked my ChatGPT pal Ray to analyze the answers. According to Ray, reading was by far the most frequently mentioned past-time followed by music (especially attending live shows), writing, film and TV, art, games, cooking, eating, travel and walking—especially walking around the city.
And finally, here is how readers responded to survey question #28:
Aharon's response: "Pls match me with all the AI ones."
The Methodology
Several participants wrote to me wondering how the connections were created, so I rang Sophia Deng, the NYC data scientist who formulated the psychometric matching algorithm based on my 70-question survey.
First, she divided the participants into pools based on factors such as age, geography and whether they wanted a romantic or platonic connection.
Next, she weighted the remaining variables depending on response distribution. Polarizing questions, for example were given more weight. She also considered how important a factor might be in determining the success of a relationship. A person’s favorite park, for example, was weighted less than how curious they are.
A final step was pattern detection, which allowed her to sort the participants into ten smaller pools. Group one, for example, was people who were “playful, outgoing, resilient, and curious.” Group two, “disciplined, health-conscious, and high-energy.”
Have a problem with any of this? Too bad! It was free, after all, and just for fun!
I’d love to hear reports from those who are meeting their matches. Please write me at annekadet@yahoo, or tell your story in the comments!
Did you miss out on the matching fun? Hopefully CAFÉ ANNE will survive another year and this will be an annual event. Hint, hint, hint!
These People Drink 10+ Coffees a Day!
I drink five cups of coffee a day—typically Café Bustelo, brewed in my stovetop percolator. I drink more coffee than anyone I know! So of course I was curious to meet some folks who make me look like a caffeine lightweight.
I recently posted a query online which turned up three otherwise normal Americans who are true coffee champions. I enjoyed hearing their stories and hope you do too! Please note, these interviews have been edited and condensed for brevity. When two coffee drinkers get together, we can really go on!
Steven Lowell
Age: 51
Resides: St. George, Staten Island
Occupation: Career coach
So let's go through your typical coffee day.
I usually wake up around 6:30, very happy that the coffee is ready. My wife makes it for me, in a drip coffee maker.
What kind of coffee?
I'm going to brag a little bit. I've had Columbian coffee from the hills when I worked in Bogota, but now I love the McCafé stuff from McDonald's. I know it's pretty bad but I still love it. Or Chock full o'Nuts. My wife thinks what I drink is terrible.
Well it is!
She calls it sludge. And I'm like, to me it just tastes good, so keep going with it. I take it with half-n-half and this stuff called stevia.
So you said in your email that you drink a five-cup pot before you go down to the deli at 10 am for your bacon, egg and cheese and another coffee. How big is that sixth coffee?
That one is 16 ounces. With sugar. It gets me kind of awake again. Sometimes I'll work right through lunch.
You said in the winter months, you'll make another pot of coffee for the afternoon.
Yeah, the wind comes off the water and it freezes in my apartment. It's brutal. So the coffee keeps your hands warm.
And that's another five cups?
Maybe three or four. And then I'll get a little dehydrated, so I take one of these Liquid I.V. things—a hydration multiplier.
In the summer you switch to diet soda in the afternoon. How much will you drink?
I'm honestly not sure how much I drink, but I can probably have up to, like, a two-liter bottle a day of Diet Coke. I just got my physical. I'm waiting for the results.
Why do you drink so much coffee?
I think it's the taste. I've always been a big fan. My mom was a big coffee drinker and if she left it on the table, I would take it when she wasn't looking. And it's the association I have, too, with work. Cuz I'm kind of a workaholic. I like the idea of getting that boost.
Does your life demand that you drink so much coffee?
No. But from 2007 to 2013 I was a social media manager for a very active website, and I drank a lot of coffee during that period to stay awake. You had to work for the company 24/7. That's how it started.
I'm curious how you would describe your personality, and who you might be without coffee.
You know, that's really interesting. When I went on Weight Watchers, I stopped having coffee. Or I’d only have black coffee, no cream or sugar, so I only had a little bit.
And I noticed a big mood change. I was more serious. And I was, I don't know, kind of bored a lot. I've always been a high energy person, bouncing off the walls. But when I stopped drinking coffee, life felt kind of boring. And I didn't react to things the same way. People noticed. They said I was more serious. "Grounded," was the word they used. Not all over the place.
You know, I'm just like you. I'm pretty enthusiastic. And I tried quitting coffee once—about twenty years ago, for a few days. And my reaction was, "I really don't think life is worth living."
You know, I get it. I was so blah. Didn't feel inspired. Didn't feel like I wanted to do anything.
I wonder whether me-without-coffee is my true personality.
You know, that's funny. I feel my true personality is the person who drinks coffee. I've always been this way since I was young. I've always been this aggressive workaholic. And this is a funny thing—I have a disability, too. I deal with epilepsy. And I have mood triggers. If I get depressed, that's bad. So the coffee helps in a way.
I'm glad coffee is still socially acceptable.
It is. And it's a conversation piece. You're holding something. It gives my hands a purpose. It's kind of like a prop. I think we always like to have props when we talk to people.
So coffee serves a lot of functions. It keeps you warm, it's a prop, it keeps you from having fits.
It's doing all these amazing things!
Ashley Houghton
Age: 29
Resides: Chicago
Occupation: Wedding photographer
How do you start your coffee day?
I wake up normally around 7:30 am and immediately have a pour-over coffee. We [she and her fiancée] split a carafe. We don't look at our screens. We have an hour of coffee time, and I'll have about four cups of coffee.
What kind?
I try a lot of different local roasters. We're based in Chicago so there's a ton of specialty coffee roasters. And I normally like a light roast coffee. A pour-over is like a traditional filter coffee, but a bit lighter, which brings out some of the more delicate flavors. You can tell, this one has a bit more of a floral flavor profile. Or I can taste the sour cherry notes.
So you have four cups in the first hour, and then what?
Normally I'll start working for a couple hours, and then I'll have another mid-morning coffee. I'll make another pot of my pour-over coffee. And that gets me to noon or so. And then I try not to drink any coffee after 1 pm. Otherwise I won't sleep. But if I'm doing a workout, I might have another small cup before my workout.
And if I'm out with friends, two of my best friends are in the coffee industry, and even more obsessed with coffee than me. So we might tour different cafés throughout the afternoon. At a café, I try to get a double espresso, just to taste the actual coffee they brew, and then a cappuccino or something similar.
When I go out for coffee with my friends, I always want to get two coffee drinks and I'm embarrassed. Because who does that?
You should! You have my permission.
Ashley in Chicago says it's cool.
So I think I mentioned I'm a photographer. I'm also a professor. There are certain times in the year where I have an insane workload of editing and grading and prepping all my lectures. During those times, I'll have what I call my cigarette coffee. Instant coffee, or coffee from the 7-Eleven. I'll have that at 3 pm as a way to carry me through the stress of all my grading.
I call it my cigarette coffee because it's burnt, and it just feels dirty. There’s something about being stressed out that makes me crave a bad coffee. Maybe it's bringing me back to my student days when I used to study all night.
So why do you drink so much?
I just really love coffee. I like the way it tastes. The caffeine is a nice boost, obviously, but I don't think that's my motivating factor. Sometimes I'll have a decaf at night because I'm wanting that flavor and that warm drink. And I like trying new brewing techniques. I have six different ways to brew coffee at home and I like experimenting with that.
I use a stovetop percolator. Do you ever use a moka pot or percolator?
That's actually how I first started drinking coffee. My whole life, I was a hard-core tea drinker. My grandmother is a big tea fan, so I grew up drinking tea with her. Then I did a study abroad in Venice and I couldn't find tea anywhere. I eventually got so desperate I was like, "Okay, I'm going to try an espresso." There was a moka pot in my apartment. I made myself a moka and I was like, "Wow! This stuff's awesome! I can't believe I haven't been drinking coffee my whole life!"
Can you imagine life without coffee?
Umm...I don't know. I don't think I could, honestly. Coffee is an interest in addition to just a drink, a habit. It'd be sad. I'd lose a hobby and also just be thrown out of my routine. And have an insane headache, probably, for a month!
Brian Vastola
Age: 45
Occupation: SEO and digital marketing
Resides: Louisburg, North Carolina
So are you drinking coffee right now?
I am. Powered by coffee!
I'd love to hear your daily coffee routine.
Oh man. Well I'd say it's pretty solid in the morning. I wake up early with sleepies in my eyes and use a moka pot to make espresso. My wife likes shots with a little sugar. I like to take my milk, add espresso, sugar, whip it up and have me a little frothy drink. Typically we kill two pots in the morning. It's probably eight-to-ten shots per moka pot.
So you're maybe doing eight shots in the morning.
I do marketing, SEO, stuff like that, so I'm literally nonstop, nonstop, nonstop! It's weird. When I was 17, I used to work in a phone room. I found that me drinking more cups of coffee meant me making more money.
What's a phone room?
That's before computers. I used to do telemarketing in a phone room. Magazines, long-distance telephone service. But yeah, around 2 o'clock, I usually make myself another pot. And then when we leave here, maybe to go shopping, I'll stop by Starbucks and get the cold brew with the vanilla cream whatever, or an iced caramel macchiato with extra shots, which makes it a four-shotter.
So all told, we're talking about 14 shots a day. Does that sound right?
I love coffee! I mean, every single day isn't like that. But definitely Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays—it's intense.
What does coffee do for you?
It wakes me up in the morning, puts pep in my step, pushes me forward.
And why a moka pot?
It’s steel. We're health conscious. We try to stay away from aluminum and micro-plastics. The traditional drip pot—plastic! And the cuban coffee makers are aluminum, which is not good.
Have you thought about what life might be like without coffee?
I often think, "What if I stop drinking coffee?" I could, I think. But everything I read about coffee and all the benefits of it, I'd be more apt to stop adding milk and sugar, and drink the coffee black.
Several years ago, I was getting to know a fellow, and I had him over and served him my coffee. He took one sip and said, "This explains everything!" Because the coffee was so strong, right? So I wonder, who would you be without coffee?
Yeah, that's a great question. I don't know. I'd probably be less assertive and less getting things done. I've got my wife, two daughters, three cats and two dogs and two chickens and I'm working long hours, pushing through. I'm trying to get a couple businesses off the ground. I'm in my 40s and this is the time to excel and push. Coffee's like your buddy behind you, pushing you, saying, "Come on man, keep going! Keep going! Just do a little more!"
CAFÉ ANNE is a free weekly newsletter created by Brooklyn journalist Anne Kadet. Subscribe to get the latest issue every Monday.
I love that Brian, whose daily consumption of 14 shots of espresso includes an iced caramel macchiato, drinks out of a moka pot because he is "health conscious."
I'm concerned about all your "genius" readers. Is there overlap with your previously discussed "long talkers?"