"...working as a behavior modification specialist for abused and neglected animals at the ASPCA—tough cases that were hauled in by the NYPD. She’s like a social worker for dogs!"
“How much could I pay you to never write again?” I’m not even ‘a writer’ and I couldn’t do that. It’s like saying “How much could I pay you to never breathe again?” Such an integral part of life! Hmmmm….
And that suitcase? Presumably a bag snatch. How awful. Some vibrant traveller without her stuff. Sigh.
Thanks Beth! Somehow I like the idea of a bag snatch better than just having given up and walked away from all one's possessions, which is how I read it.
The whole thing about the drones with his "calming" voice is hilarious! I keep expecting Leslie Nielsen to pop up. There's some real Airplane/Naked Gun energy going on.
And your new chum sounds awesome, like a one-woman "Animal Cops"!
Regarding Gaylord's question: When Rob W. was recently in town, he said he's sometimes asked what he'd do if he had a billion dollars. His answer: "Write." Sort of the inverse of the G's question.
Every time you return to Eric Adams watch, I think I like it a little bit more. Finally catching the vibe. It also perversely reminds me of those entertaining years when we elected Jesse Ventura as Governor in Minnesota. Here's a tidbit. A big part of being governor in MN is being able to navigate hunting and fishing. One year, I believe it may have been the opener for deer season. A member of the press asked the Governor if he was going to get out and do some hunting. Jesse leaned back (leaning on his days serving in Vietnam) and says something like "You haven't hunted, until you've hunted man."
Having a public servant who fits the criteria of multiple conditions in the DSM-5 is the vibe for your Mayor, our former Governor and surely a handful of others I will not name
As far as the trash heaps there didn't seem to be a single thing that someone could ponder...I could use that. The only saving grace was I bothered to look up some synonyms for trash and my new favorites are grot.and detritus
i would certainly accept money to never work in HR again, lol - i actually quite enjoy my job and it's a great mix (for my personality) of social interaction with a lot of silent solo work time. but there are so many other office type jobs that are similar enough i could pivot to, as long as i'm only specifically swearing off HR and not a larger field. tho, in this market, i'd want to push the buyout pretty high before quitting ANY job!
This is an interesting point, Megan. HR is one of those activitiers that is, almost by definition, a job. Well I suppose that you could be a volunteer HR person, but it'd still sort of be a job within the context of an organization. Unlike writing, which doesn't even need readers.
One reason I love your column is that I’m by nature…curious…and I realize I’m also a job whore. I’ve always been fascinated with what people do to earn $. There are so many interesting, nitch occupations. I hope you will tell us more about your “match” and her job with wayward animals. And the T-shirts! Please more. Great way to start my Monday.
"Job whore"! That is a new term for me, Terry and I love it! If I couldn't do what I'm doing now, I'd love to try a different job every week for the rest of my life.
And I can't wait to write more about Maria. Another one of her crazy jobs was as a dog walker in Hanoi. She had to walk with a big stick to fend of motorcycle dudes trying to kidnap pets for ransom!
That suitcase could tell a thousand stories! Or maybe just one REALLY sad one. I look greatly forward to the stories of meetups between Cafe Anne readers!
I hope the Mayor Adams Drone (MAD) just repeats “I smell money, crypto, crypto, blockchain, and all the good things!” over and over again.
Also, if you are disappointed about the sold-out Sheepshead Bay Cult thong, it appears that you can still get a Horns and Hooves thong, which comes wrapped around their latest LP, Spectral Voyeurism.
It's going to be an entertaining mayoral race for sure, CK.
I would NEVER appear in public wearing a tee-shirt but I do admire the t-collections of my friends. Esp those wearing tees they've been sporting for decades.
"...working as a behavior modification specialist for abused and neglected animals at the ASPCA—tough cases that were hauled in by the NYPD. She’s like a social worker for dogs!"
Wow. Fantasy novel concept in embryo!
Or reality TV series!
Eric Adams makes Chicago's recent run of mayors look fantastic.
He never lets us down, Arman!
“How much could I pay you to never write again?” I’m not even ‘a writer’ and I couldn’t do that. It’s like saying “How much could I pay you to never breathe again?” Such an integral part of life! Hmmmm….
And that suitcase? Presumably a bag snatch. How awful. Some vibrant traveller without her stuff. Sigh.
Cool post. Thanks so much.
Thanks Beth! Somehow I like the idea of a bag snatch better than just having given up and walked away from all one's possessions, which is how I read it.
Drone: “ATTENTION! STOP DROWNING! HELP IS ON THE WAY!”
Guy Drowning: “Is that the (glug glug) mayor’s voice!!?!”
The best way to go down for sure, Reader!
The whole thing about the drones with his "calming" voice is hilarious! I keep expecting Leslie Nielsen to pop up. There's some real Airplane/Naked Gun energy going on.
And your new chum sounds awesome, like a one-woman "Animal Cops"!
I'll pass your compliment on to Maria, Helen. I'm sure she will appreciate!
I had a cat who was a huge fan of those series!
Regarding Gaylord's question: When Rob W. was recently in town, he said he's sometimes asked what he'd do if he had a billion dollars. His answer: "Write." Sort of the inverse of the G's question.
It was Rob W. who prompted me to write about it, Paul, bc I asked him Gaylord's question (he had the same answer as me) and loved it so much!
And I love the $billion question too, of course. I have big plans for my own $billion a lot of it having to do with an enormous Midtown petting zoo.
Every time you return to Eric Adams watch, I think I like it a little bit more. Finally catching the vibe. It also perversely reminds me of those entertaining years when we elected Jesse Ventura as Governor in Minnesota. Here's a tidbit. A big part of being governor in MN is being able to navigate hunting and fishing. One year, I believe it may have been the opener for deer season. A member of the press asked the Governor if he was going to get out and do some hunting. Jesse leaned back (leaning on his days serving in Vietnam) and says something like "You haven't hunted, until you've hunted man."
Having a public servant who fits the criteria of multiple conditions in the DSM-5 is the vibe for your Mayor, our former Governor and surely a handful of others I will not name
As far as the trash heaps there didn't seem to be a single thing that someone could ponder...I could use that. The only saving grace was I bothered to look up some synonyms for trash and my new favorites are grot.and detritus
Jesse the Body Ventura! He was a great entertainer, but the quote about hunting men is new to me.
Also, Mr. Dolan, thank you for the synonyms, Mr. Dolan. Maybe I will change the name of the feature to "Weird Grot Photo."
My memory of the whole Ventura thing is shaky. I found this old link. It was actually from an interview. He was quite a character.
https://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=93626&page=1
Could I take the billion to just never _publish_ any writing again? Imagine if you accidentally sold away your ability to jot a grocery list!
That is a good point, Amac. Never writing again and never publishing again are very different beasts.
"This is your morning routine Turkish time?" Brilliant.
So clever, Claire, I agree!
If the last voice I heard when I was in a near-drowning situation was Mayor Adams’, I might lose the will to keep doggy-paddling…just sayin’.
That suitcase 100% belongs to a homeless sex worker, possibly a trans one. Or maybe 94%. Either way, it made me a little sad 😢
Amy, I had the same story line exactly about the suitcase. But maybe more an of an 80% confidence factor.
It'd be so funny if the drone voice just made someone lose the will to live and go under!
i would certainly accept money to never work in HR again, lol - i actually quite enjoy my job and it's a great mix (for my personality) of social interaction with a lot of silent solo work time. but there are so many other office type jobs that are similar enough i could pivot to, as long as i'm only specifically swearing off HR and not a larger field. tho, in this market, i'd want to push the buyout pretty high before quitting ANY job!
This is an interesting point, Megan. HR is one of those activitiers that is, almost by definition, a job. Well I suppose that you could be a volunteer HR person, but it'd still sort of be a job within the context of an organization. Unlike writing, which doesn't even need readers.
One reason I love your column is that I’m by nature…curious…and I realize I’m also a job whore. I’ve always been fascinated with what people do to earn $. There are so many interesting, nitch occupations. I hope you will tell us more about your “match” and her job with wayward animals. And the T-shirts! Please more. Great way to start my Monday.
"Job whore"! That is a new term for me, Terry and I love it! If I couldn't do what I'm doing now, I'd love to try a different job every week for the rest of my life.
And I can't wait to write more about Maria. Another one of her crazy jobs was as a dog walker in Hanoi. She had to walk with a big stick to fend of motorcycle dudes trying to kidnap pets for ransom!
I’m salivating for more.
That suitcase could tell a thousand stories! Or maybe just one REALLY sad one. I look greatly forward to the stories of meetups between Cafe Anne readers!
Me too, Justin! But I am still waiting for the first!
“Fashion Corner” 😂
ALWAYS Jolene!
I hope the Mayor Adams Drone (MAD) just repeats “I smell money, crypto, crypto, blockchain, and all the good things!” over and over again.
Also, if you are disappointed about the sold-out Sheepshead Bay Cult thong, it appears that you can still get a Horns and Hooves thong, which comes wrapped around their latest LP, Spectral Voyeurism.
Mr. Stephenson, if Mayor Adams gets the drone to say that I will rank choice him #1, #2, #3, #4 and #5 come November.
Thanks for the tip re: H&H. I like how in the merch pic, the suggested use is dangling it from a chainsaw: https://hornsandhooves.bandcamp.com/merch/h-h-towing-thong
And of course, it is also SOLD OUT.
I bet if you write them, they can dig one up from the back of the tour van.
I'll only rank him if the drone says, "You should've started off with some roughage."
People will want Adams back if the Jihadi wins. Oy.
I love unusual T-shirts. My bestie has a plethora that represent her personality to a Tee-- as in shirt. And all of them have been gifts.
It's going to be an entertaining mayoral race for sure, CK.
I would NEVER appear in public wearing a tee-shirt but I do admire the t-collections of my friends. Esp those wearing tees they've been sporting for decades.