NYC's Smallest 'Aquarium' is Making People Crazy!

Plus! Eric Adams Watch!! Q3 Earnings Report!!!

Hello everyone,

Welcome to Issue #137 of CAFÉ ANNE!

So, no news this week. Is that good news? You decide.

In other news, huge Hudson-Valley-Apple-Orchards-Are-Now-Charging-Cover-Fees shoutouts to this week’s newest paid subscribers Sue H. (founding member!), Jennifer B., Leslie Q. and Avery. That’s enough $$$ for me to stay here right in Brooklyn eating 14 dozen apple cider donuts from the farmer’s market.

I am very excited for this week’s issue, of course. At the urging of several readers, I finally made my way over to Brooklyn’s new “Bed-Stuy Aquarium,” where I spent the better part of an afternoon. There’s a lot going on over there! We’ve also got the latest edition of Eric Adams Watch and the Q3 2024 CAFÉ ANNE Earnings Report. Please enjoy.

Regards!

Anne

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ERIC ADAMS WATCH

On Shit Shows, Stepping Up, and Being a True Friend of Turkey

Mayor Adams took a break from all the legal fuss last week to attend the 87th Annual General Pulaski Day Parade.

I continue to enjoy the exploits of Eric Adams, whom my friend Aharon refers to as “New York City’s first AI-generated Mayor.” As a profile in Politico put it, “In a city of weird people and weird mayors, Adams is maybe the most idiosyncratic figure to ever hold the office.”

Here, round-up #27 of the mayor’s doings:

Sept. 26: The mayor is indicted on multiple charges of nefarious dealings with Turks, including accepting stays in fancy Istanbul hotel suites in exchange for waiving a fire inspection for the NYC Turkish consulate. According to prosecutors, one Turkish official texted the Mayor to thank him: “You are Great Eric. You are a true friend of Turkey.”

Sept. 30: After the indictment stirs cries for his resignation, the mayor attends a faith meeting at a Bronx church where he declares, "I’m not going to resign, I’m going to reign!”

Sept. 30: The mayor’s lawyer, Alex Shapiro, asks a Supreme Court judge to dismiss the bribery charges. He later tells reporters, “Courtesies to politicians are not federal crimes. They do not violate federal rule. Congressmen get upgrades. They get corner suites, they get better tables at restaurants, they get free appetizers. They have their iced tea filled up. That's just what happens.”

Oct. 1 : At his first press conference following the indictment, the mayor vows that his never-ending reality show will continue. “Now you have a front seat to my resiliency!” he declares. Furthermore: “All this is going in my book! This is going to be one of the chapters that you’re all going to reflect on.”

Oct. 2: Speaking at a prayer breakfast, the mayor tries out a new line to address the calls for his resignation. Rather than step down, he vows, “I’m gonna step up!”

Oct. 2: Federal prosecutors reveal that while they seized the Mayor’s cell phone more than twelve months ago, they still can’t crack the six-digit security code and have no idea what’s on it. Mayor Adams says he cannot remember the code.

Oct. 8: After ten of his top aides resign, the mayor insists at a press conference that this has nothing to do with his legal troubles. “People wanted to go on with their lives,” he says. “Working in government is hard. Sometimes people just say, 'Listen, I ran out of gas.’”

Oct. 8: At the same press conference, after reporter Jeff Coltin notes that people are referring to the administration’s current organizational structure as a “shit show,” the mayor responds, “You know, when people come to me and say Jeff’s writing is a shit show, I say, ‘Stop beating up on that guy, man. He tries his best! He’s not the best reporter in the city, but at least he tries!’”

NYC’s Smallest ‘Aquarium’ is Making People Crazy!

When I set out to spend the afternoon at the new Bed-Stuy Aquarium in Brooklyn, I took the B52 bus and brought my own folding chair. After all, the so-called "aquarium" is really just a miniature fish pond created when three neighborhood locals let some goldfish loose in a sidewalk puddle fed by a leaky fire hydrant. I envisioned a bring-your-own-seat situation.

As it turns out, I needn't have bothered. Since the tiny pond was created near the corner of Tompkins Ave. and Hancock St. in Bed-Stuy, a lot has been added. I found an array of benches, chairs and even an end table set out on the sidewalk around the puddle. The makeshift community lounge also features a book exchange, plastic flowers, real flowers, pinwheels, protective traffic cones to guard the curbside seating and a large "Bed-Stuy Aquarium" banner hung on the nearby fence. Also, in case visitors got hungry, someone had donated a paper sack of vidalia onions.

The pond itself—roughly three inches of water in a 4x4-foot sidewalk pit—is now purified with a solar-powered filter and features a riot of decorations including three miniature castles, a plastic turtle, an angry rubber shark, an Empire State Building figurine, a starfish and a treasure chest, plus assorted shells and colored rocks. About 60 goldfish slowly circle the leaky fire hydrant in desultory swirl.

A nearby sign displayed a QR code, which took me to the aquarium's Linktree. This being NYC, the pond now has its own web site, a newsletter, a Google Maps listing, a GoFundMe page, an Instagram and, of course, a TikTok account with 22,000 followers.

Which may explain why there were so many visitors stopping by the pond that afternoon.

Among the first I met was Emily, a tourist from Los Angeles. "I saw it on TikTok," she said. "And I said, 'Whoa, that's so cute!'"

"Do they have any makeshift fire hydrant fish ponds in LA?" I wondered.

"No, nobody would take care of it," she said. "Here, just seeing the community watching it is cute. People caring about their block!”

Next came Sal, visiting from Philadelphia. He was in Brooklyn to recruit software developers for his firm and had decided to stop by the puddle before catching the train back to Philly.

"I wanted to see it in person," he said. "I just think it's a beautiful thing that came about, maybe as a joke, maybe not as a joke, but it's not really a joke anymore. The impact that this leaky fire hydrant has had—it's transcended across the country—maybe internationally as well!"

While folks are visiting from distant cities, locals are still discovering the pond in their own backyard. One lady who strolled by with her daughter did a double take. They stopped to gawk at the fish.

Andrena and her daughter Kentiya

"I've seen fire hydrants leaking like that, and no one ever thought of being that creative," said the mom, Andrena, who works a retail job over on Fulton Street. "But to see this in the community, a nice little area. You just could enjoy sittin' down and watchin'. I can see myself sittin' here and reading my book! I will come back."

I was delighted when another local came by with his laptop. Devang Shah, who lives on the block, is one of the aquarium's volunteer caretakers. He said he'd spotted me earlier carrying my folding chair down Tompkins Street and almost asked me to donate it to the aquarium.

An architect who serves as the puddle's official "project manager," Mr. Shah said the current scene is just the beginning. Volunteers are planning to install a canopy and solar-powered heater to keep the fish alive through the winter. They are creating an internship program so students can help maintain the puddle. A sidewalk community fridge will serve as a neighborhood food pantry. And depending how much funding they receive from the GoFundMe campaign, they might rent a space for pond-related community events.

We contemplated the puddle.

"Do you know any of the fish individually?" I asked.

"Yeah, there's one guy, Iggy Pop, he's got a mohawk," said Mr. Shah.  "Iggy Pop's cool."

"Any others?"

"Yeah, we got one called Eric Adams," he said.

"Which one's Eric Adams?" I asked.

"The black one," said Mr. Shah. "I feel bad. I didn't make that up."

While I knew a bit about the aquarium's history, I thought it'd be interesting to get the full account from an insider. But Mr. Shah, who clearly wanted to get some work done, suggested I do my own research.

"You should definitely Google it," he suggested. "It's all documented."

I'd brought my own laptop, so I dove in. It's such a funny story!

It all started in August when three middle-aged men who grew up in Bed-Stuy decided to beautify the hydrant puddle with a few dozen goldfish purchased for $15 from the nearby pet store. Other locals added decorations, and a little volunteer committee emerged to maintain the new neighborhood hangout.

Residents posted videos of the pond to TikTok, which went viral, attracting millions of views. It was the feel-good story of the summer. "I absolutely love the community effort—just many individuals loving a thing and protecting it," was a typical comment.

And that might have been the whole story. Until a young lady who was new to the neighborhood spotted the aquarium on Instagram. She'd worked on an aquaponic farm and was, apparently, a big animal rights advocate. Where others saw a charming grassroots beautification effort, she saw goldfish cruelty.

Armed with nets and zip lock bags, she and pal launched a midnight "rescue" mission, making off with several dozen fish.

This did not go over well. Pro-pond locals accused the young folks of fish theft, a dispute that the fishnapper later related on the Bed-Stuy subreddit: "I’m aware of the optics of this uppity white transplant lecturing [an] older Black man about his neighborhood," she wrote. "That being said, I’m still having a hard time with the animal cruelty of this."

Her post and the ensuing online debate spurred a lengthy New York Times article covering the dispute which, in turn, generated 843 often salty comments sparring over questions of animal cruelty and gentrification.

And the story only gets better! What to do with fish that had been snatched from the puddle? Rival camps emerged online. Some said that caging the animals in fish bowls was just another form of abuse and called for the captive goldfish to be released in the Hudson River. This sparked a lengthy Gothamist article in which concerned experts were quoted warning that a goldfish release could destroy the river's fragile eco-system.

Continuing my search, I discovered entrepreneurs capitalizing on the growing interest by selling Bed-Stuy Aquarium teeshirts for $21.59 on Etsy.

Taking all this in, I laughed and laughed. People!

While I was reading, a young man pedaled up on his bike and sat on the bench by the puddle. This was his second visit, said Hunter Brown, who lives a minute away. He and his girlfriend first learned of the aquarium last week from a YouTube video. "We were like, ‘Wait a second, that's right next to us!’" he said. "So we ran out to see it."

Mr. Brown returned this afternoon on his way home from work—he has a part in his first Broadway show!—because he thought it'd be a nice way to relax.

"It's a little bit of a miracle," he said. "There's just something very New York about it—the things that become iconic here, I feel, are always kind of grassroots grown, grown just out of love. And that's what makes New York special."

I don't know why I wanted to burst his bubble, but I couldn't resist telling him about all the controversy online surrounding the aquarium.

"That's ridiculous," said Mr. Brown, admiring the goldfish as they drifted through the glinting waters. "People need to get off the internet."

It was almost time to go home. But first I wanted to chat with Hajj-Malik Lovick. One of the three men who created the pond, Mr. Lovick had been holding court all afternoon from the passenger seat of his white sedan parked down the block, keeping an eye on things.

Hajj-Malik Lovick

Mr. Lovick, who is 48, told me he and the hydrant go way back. As kids, his friends would race straws in the stream flowing from the leaky pump to the sewer drain at the end of the block. In hot weather, they pulled off the cap and played in the spray. "We washed our cars with it," he said.

"And then after four decades of this, you were like, 'Let's buy some goldfish?'" I asked.

"It was, 'Let's make it look good,' and the goldfish came up," said Mr. Lovick. "It was like that."

We walked over to the puddle together.

"And then somebody vandalized it," Mr. Lovick continued. "One lady tried to say she was rescuing the fish. And she vandalized it, took some fish out of it. We went back and bought some more fish."

He feeds the creatures every morning.

"What do you feed them?" I asked.

"Fish food," he said.

I wondered if feeding the fish and cleaning their pond was starting to feel like a chore.

"It feels like taking care of your children," he said. "They gotta eat. They want to be comfortable. So the same way you would take care of your child, you want to take care of your animals."

We talked about how folks are visiting from around the world. Mr. Lovick said he did not think this was weird. "Can't stop love. You know?” he said. “It's about bringing everybody together. Yeah, they come to the pump. Everybody looks at the fish."

Did he consider the pond one of his greatest accomplishments?

One of them, he agreed. The other was raising his kids. "Teaching them how to read, how to write, respect others."

"I have my own clothing line," he continued. "I done worked in a hospital. I done did a lot of different jobs, but I prefer to be my own entrepreneur."

His clothing line, HTTK, was inspired by his son. "One of my children passed away. He was 15. He got killed out here, in 2021. So I just honor it on him," he said.

He has three other children. The youngest, age seven, loves the pond. Mr. Lovick said he’d like to see the local effort expand so more kids can spend time caring for the fish and adjoining mini garden.

"Everything they do is phone, phone, phone, right?” he said of the neighborhood kids. “We don't do no nature, no nothing, no more. So it's time to learn what nature is. We want to keep the energy going.”

"What if there was one of these in every neighborhood?" I asked, imagining a Sunnyside Aquarium, and a Chelsea Aquarium, and a Mott Haven Aquarium.

"Then I'd smile," said Mr. Lovick. "Then I'd be happy."

QUARTERLY REPORT

Inflating Faster Than NYC Rents!

Substack the Cockroach Intern, crunching the numbers.

Dear everyone,

I am pleased to report the results of the last fiscal quarter, albeit two weeks late. Our CFO, Substack the Cockroach Intern, went on a vanilla-latte bender and was too jittery to update the Excel sheets. It’s so sad to see him try to untangle his legs when they’re covered with all that sticky syrup! He has since recovered, however, and managed to provide the following stats:

• In Q3 2024, CAFÉ ANNE total subscriptions rose from 12,760 to 14,100—a 10% jump in three months. This is a healthy expansion, I think, relative to the rest of the universe which, as we all know, is actually shrinking following a massive shot of Ozempic.

• Over the same time frame, paid subscriptions rose from 392 to 410, a 5% increase.

• The percentage of subscribers who pay declined slightly, from 3% to 2.8%.

• Classified ad revenue for the quarter held steady, at $550.

• Random donation revenue (always appreciated!) came in at $117.

• The top-performing story was the quarter’s last issue, “I Spent 24 Hours Straight on the NYC Subway!” which got more than 350 likes and 200 comments. Runner-up was “What it’s Like to be (Very) Rich in NYC),” the interview with fellow Substack writer David Roberts.

• The worst-performing issue? “Meet the Real Life Party Animals,” which got just 136 likes and 74 comments. I am going to write three follow-up stories on this topic just to spite you all!

I am very happy with these results, of course. I wasn’t sure what would happen when I launched the newsletter three years ago with 70 subscribers, but I feel now that it’s a big success! If I got hit by a bus tomorrow (hopefully the B63!), I’d die happy, knowing I’d accomplished what I set out to do.

And it really is thanks to all of you who support the newsletter with your $$$, comments and emails, and by sharing it with your friends and family. Not to mention all the fantastic story ideas you send my way!

As you know, CAFÉ ANNE depends on a public radio model for support. Everything is always free, and I rely on donations to keep going. If you’d like to support the newsletter, the best way is with a paid subscription—$5 a month or $50 a year. Upgrade to paid and you will get a surprise item in the mail!

Okay, enough math! I am exhausted!

CAFÉ ANNE is a free weekly newsletter created by Brooklyn journalist Anne Kadet. Subscribe to get the latest issue every Monday!