Introducing: NYC Teen Roulette!
Plus! RIP Sherita!! What's the deal with my "friend" Aharon?!!!
Hello everyone,
Welcome to Issue #114 of CAFÉ ANNE!
Oh golly, I have sad news to report.
Back in May 2022, prompted by a reader’s question, I wrote a feature “investigating” the story behind a strange billboard erected over a flat-fix shop on Atlantic Ave. The sign featured a large pink creature of unknown taxonomy sporting a gold collar displaying the moniker “Sherita.” By most accounts, the billboard has been on display since the 1970s.
William, the reader, wanted to know: exactly who, or what, is Sherita? “Sherita is bewitching and if you find any information out about her I would be elated,” he wrote.
Alas, despite grilling a tire shop employee, several nearby residents, my pal Peter Nut Truck, the landlord’s lawyer and going down a weird home heating oil rabbit hole, I never managed to solve the mystery.
The sad news? As several readers wrote to alert me last week, Sherita has been painted over. So sad!
But Sherita lives on! As reader Kelly M. in Brooklyn noted, you can now buy a Sherita T-shirt on Etsy (proceeds benefit the local community fridge). There’s also this TikTok tribute and a memorial post on the subreddit r/Brooklyn.
“Sherita, you may no longer be on Atlantic by the tire place, but you will always be in our hearts,” was a typical post. “RIP.”
Alright, enough of this cry-baby nonsense! I am very excited for this week’s issue. We’ve finally got an explanation regarding this newsletter’s mysterious Aharon character, plus the first round of NYC Teen Roulette. Please enjoy.
Regards!
Anne
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DEPT. OF INTERNAL HOUSEKEEPING
“What’s the Deal With Your ‘Friend’ Aharon?”
Late last month, I got an email from reader Greg H. He had a question:
Hi Anne,
I've often wondered, but this latest mention has finally spurred me to ask, why do you put “friend” in quotation marks when you talk about your "friend" Aharon? Is this to indicate he is more than just a friend? Or that only one of you considers the other a friend? Inquiring minds must know! Thanks and have a great vacation.
Greg
When I mentioned my “friend” Aharon again in last week’s issue, it prompted several similar queries. “Please remind me why Aharon is your ‘friend’ rather than a friend,” wrote reader Courtney D. “Have you never met in real life, or—?”
Reader Nicholas S. meanwhile, sounded not just curious, but downright vexed: “I hope I am a friend, not a ‘friend’ of yours here on Substack,” he wrote. “Am now so concerned about the whole Aharon shtick, I’m going to be up again tonight, you know, just wondering and plotzing about you and his relationship and why he is or isn’t a friend. It all feels very New York.”
The next step, of course, was to email the queries to Aharon and request his response. Here is his reply, in its entirety:
Thanks for the question, "Greg." As Anne's financial advisor, I cannot disclose all specifics. But I may say that I have known Anne through two (2) dogs and three (4) apartments, and that we are frequently friendly and sometimes enemies, principally on the subjects of wearing shoes indoors and the Goodreads rating an unbelievably bad French science fiction novel deserves.
I should also take this opportunity to remind readers of this Substack that I totally exist.
To the other questioners:
1) We have met in real life! Assuming such a thing exists!
2) I have checked the records, Nicolas, and you're correct; you and I are not the same person. But Anne IS your friend.
"Sincerely,"
Aharon
Minutes later, Aharon sent a follow-up email which read as follows: “I don't even know if my response is responsive. Mainly because I don't understand WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON.”
Readers with further questions can send them to me at annekadet@yahoo.com, and I will forward them to Aharon. I cannot guarantee, however, that he will respond.
Introducing: NYC Teen Roulette!
Two years ago, I invented a new game, Senior Citizen Roulette. Readers send in questions they want me to ask NYC seniors. I type them up and number them. Then I ask random seniors found on the street to pick a random number, record their response to the corresponding question, and share the results with you!
Recently, after publishing the results of Senior Citizen Roulette Round 5, several subscribers suggested I try the game with NYC teenagers. When I issued a call for ideas, folks sent more than 20 questions they wanted me to ask local teens. Last week, I hit the streets for round one.
Reader, NYC Teen Roulette is not an easy game. While NYC seniors can typically be found sitting alone in parks and outdoor cafes, teenagers typically travel in packs, and they never stop moving! I did, however, discover that they are just as friendly and happy to chat as the seniors.
I only had three hours to conduct interviews this time out, so I didn't stray far from home—a lot of these kids are from a nearby private school in Brooklyn Heights, and the others are public school or college students found in Downtown Brooklyn. Next time, I hope to travel further afield and get more diversity. But I hope you enjoy what we've got! Please note: I condensed these interviews for brevity and clarity.
Willa
Willa, 15, was sitting on the steps of Brooklyn Borough Hall reading the Patti Smith memoir “Just Kids”. She chose question 14.
Do you think TikTok is good for you?
I feel like TikTok and social media in general can be very, very harmful to a young, developing mind. There's fear-mongering, and it can lead to unhealthy body images because a lot of things are edited, and children don't realize.
But I also think it can be healthy in the way where we're being exposed to things we wouldn't normally be exposed to. Different cultures, different belief systems, different views.
So what would you say is the best thing you've gotten out of TikTok?
Through social media and TikTok, I've been able to cultivate my own style and get inspiration for that. But maybe the best thing is, I've made friends. We follow each other on TikTok, then we move to Instagram, then we start talking, and then if we both live in the city, we meet up. My ex-boyfriend—we met through him commenting on me on TikTok.
I think some adults have this idea that teens are just locked in their bedrooms and on online all the time.
I love reading books and hanging out [with friends]. But I know a lot of people like that, yeah.
Marco and Insaf
Best friends Marco and Insaf, both 18, were taking a stroll after school. Marco picked question eight.
What do you think New York City will be like in 20 years?
Marco: I think it will be the same. Only the shops come and go.
Insaf: Probably more expensive! Maybe more gentrified.
Marco: All the best shops will be gone.
Insaf: I don't know about that. But there are a lot of places closing where I live, in Astoria. A lot of places I went to in middle school—with my friends after school—are closing, which is sad. But that's the way the wind blows.
(To Insaf) Okay, now you pick a number, one to twenty.
Insaf: Nineteen.
When does a person become an adult?
Insaf: Probably like 45. I've never met a 30-year-old who acts like an adult. They're always confused.
Ian, Ben and Beckett
When these three, who are ages 17 and 18, saw me interviewing Marco and Insaf, they wanted questions too.
Beckett: May I please pick number one?
At what age do you consider someone really old, and why?
Beckett: I'd say really old to be like, 80 years old. Probably because my grandparents are in their 70s. The people I'd say who are really old are 80, 85—somewhere in that range.
So older than your grandparents.
Beckett: Yep!
Ben: I pick 13—my lucky number.
Do you think smartphones are good for you?
Ben: No. Definitely not. If you ever don't have your phone for a week, you always feel happier and less stressed.
When were you without your phone for a week?
I've been like, hiking for a week—where you don't take anything with you.
When you came back, did you use your phone less?
Ben: Yes, at first. And then I started using it more and got back into the habit.
How much do you use it now?
Ben: A couple hours a day.
Beckett: More than that! Let me look at the settings! (Grabs Ben's phone). Screentime—three hours! Four hours on Monday, three-and-a half on Tuesday, four hours Sunday.
How do you feel about those hours?
Ben: Those are respectable hours.
Beckett: We have friends who are like, eight hours a day!
(To Ian) Would you like to pick a number?
Ian: Twenty.
If you could grow up to be famous, what would you be famous for?
Ian: I don't like the idea of being famous. If I had to be famous, I'd be famous for not wanting people coming up to me and talking to me. Because it'd be really annoying.
Beckett: But then how do you want to become famous in the first place?
Ian: Action movie superstar that's always winning everything—I think that'd be best.
Noel
Noel, 16, was hanging at the dollar slice pizza shop with two friends. He didn’t want his photo taken, and picked question seven.
What are some examples of slang that you love? And what do they mean?
Noel: Some slang terms I like to use is "buggin," "ocky," and—can I curse in this or no?
Sure!
Noel: And "typeshit." So "buggin" means, like, you're not acting sane. You're crazy or something. You said something stupid. "Ocky" means, like, you're mad strong. Like, I work out—I use that [term] a lot in the weight room. And "typeshit" is when you're agreeing with someone. It could be over the littlest thing. But when you say "typeshit," it amplifies your agreement.
So let's say I agree—that's a great slang word. And you'd say...
Noel: "Typeshit!"
Thea and Violet
The two friends, both 19, live in Brooklyn. Thea is going to college and Violet is taking a year off to work. They were enjoying a mid-afternoon lunch from Popeyes. Thea picked question number six.
What would adults or old people be shocked to learn about teens?
Thea: That's a hard question, because adults were teens at some point. But probably how easy it is to acquire drugs in the city. Quite easy. As a minor. There are dispensaries everywhere. And you walk in and say, "Hey, give me drugs!" and they go, "OK!"
Violet: It's crazy. You just need to have the confidence.
Thea: Another thing, we don't take subway safety very seriously. The other day, I was in the subway with my mom, and she was like, "Are you not scared someone's going to steal the phone out of your back pocket?"
I think a lot of older New Yorkers think they're about to be mugged at any minute because they grew up here in the seventies.
Violet: Exactly. Also, everyone has a phone now. You'll see unhoused people with phones now. So maybe that's not what they're trying to steal.
(To Violet) Do you want to pick a question?
Violet: Sure. How about 15?
Is the world getting better or worse?
Violet: It's getting worse in the way that global warming is imminent and we're all going to die, and it feels like a lot of the people who have any kind of control over the things that would help save our planet don't give a f— and only care about money. And that's really concerning.
But at the same time, it's always been that way. People in power are always going to disregard the needs of others to benefit themselves and make themselves more money, even when it's obvious they're going to be affected by the bad things too.
But you have to try to stay positive, otherwise you want to just die all the time.
Thea: I think media literacy is going down the drain—I think that's one of the main ways the world is getting worse. They watch something and they don't get what it's trying to tell them. Like if a movie doesn't tell you exactly what it wants you to take from it, people don't get it.
Violet: But the kids are alright. People are advocating to make changes.
Thea: People are more open-minded.
Violet: People want to have conversations, especially with queerness. It's less of a big deal to be queer now. Everyone is open. Everyone's queer in some way.
Thea: And art is really flourishing—that's true no matter what time period you're in.
Violet: There's a camaraderie. A strong sense of unity. Everyone cares about each other's safety and enjoyment. That's what gives me hope—the sense of community.
Thea: At the college I go to, there's sort of a student movement— there's like stations at every party with free Narcan [an overdose remedy], and they have Narcan training things. And when there's a woods party—
Violet: What's a woods party, for those who don't know?
Thea: Party in the woods! Things get crazy! They have people stationed all the way throughout the woods so if people get really drunk and get lost, they have people guide them back.
And this is kids doing this for each other?
Violet: Yes. There's still this extremism—"Don't do drugs, don't have sex." Across the country, in sex ed, you still have to preach abstinence. But I think we're seeing a big uptick in people helping people take care of these things.
I didn't want to ask this question because I was worried it'd sound creepy—I left it off the list. But one of my readers wanted to know, "Is it true that teens these days don't care about getting a driver’s license or drinking or sex? That they just want to watch TikTok?"
Thea: I think there's the temptation to do that, which is why people get the impression that's happening. It's so easy to escape into social media. There's a temptation to not do anything and just sit and scroll, that a lot of people fall victim to all the time.
Violet: That doesn't mean we don't want to do drugs and have sex. We definitely still want to do that!
Thea: (Laughs) Okay, what I was going to say is we definitely still have the human need to do something enjoyable, and create things that are important. My friends up at school, we'll sit and do nothing on our phones for a few hours and we'll be like, "Dude, I feel like dying. Can we go do something?" People don't give kids enough credit. There's more temptation to do nothing then there ever was before, and it's hard to push past that and do things you know you're going to enjoy.
It's a temptation…
Violet: It's really easy to fall into that lethargy of just sitting on your phone. I was hanging out with some friends over the weekend and on my phone texting, and they were like, "Get off your phone, dude!" and I was like, "You're right, I'm sorry!"
Thea: Whenever we see each other on our phone, we just say, "Screenagers!"
You call each other "Screenagers"?
Violet: "Screenagers!" It's constantly guilt-tripping everyone around you. It started with adults saying, "Oh, screenagers..." and then we're like, "Oh my god, we are!" I don't want to be on my phone a lot, but I'm trying so hard to fight against it.
Thea: It's so much easier to do nothing than to do anything, and so much easier to be sad than be happy.
Violet: Oh yeah.
Thea: And now these days it takes so much more work to push past that, because it's right at our fingertips. To be sad, it's so easy.
Violet: But I think adults are addicted to their phones too, and they just don't want to admit it.
Thea: My mom's addicted to checking her emails. Like, what makes that better? I'm checking Instagram, you check your email. There's nothing new there.
Got a question for NYC teenagers? Email annekadet@yahoo.com and I’ll use it in a future round.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
“Wisdom! Indestructible because it is the truth!”
—NYPD traffic cop who stopped me to chat while I was crossing the street last week.
CAFÉ ANNE is a free weekly newsletter created by Brooklyn journalist Anne Kadet. Subscribe to get the latest issue every Monday!
NYC Teen Roulette is a win! This is the perfect antidote to the constant stream of "kids today" moral panic clickbait BS articles. Thank you for making the internet better, Anne!
Also, RIP Sherita. I guess we never really knew ye.
Finally, stay weird "Aharon."
These teens are blowing my mind! I love how they look out for each other and Thea's insight about it being easier to do nothing than to do anything, and to be sad instead of happy. What a treasure, thank you, Anne!